By Debbie Schlussel
The Detroit Free Press editorial page frequently has a photo caption contest. Today this is the photo:

Here are my suggested captions:
* Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum
* Man Crush
* Two Man-Boobs, a Complete Set
* Wal-Mart’s Choice for This Year’s Gay-Oriented Christmas Card
* The Pro-Illegal Alien Amnesty Living President’s Club Membership Quorum
* Ebony & Ivory Live Together in Perfect Harmony (Remember, Bill Clinton is the first Black President, according to authoratrix Toni Morrison.)
Can you think of some better ones?

By Debbie Schlussel
Yesterday was the first day of the Bangladesh criminal trial of journalist Salah Uddin Shoaib Choudhury, one of the scant few moderate Muslims (a term that is largely mythical). As we’ve noted, his crime was wanting to travel to Israel and recommending that Bangladesh establish ties to Israel. Before the trial began, Bangladeshi government thugs beat him.
Today’s Wall Street Journal editorial on the trial exposes his other “crimes.” He’s apparently being charged with “praising the Jews and Christians.” Yup, welcome to the Islamic state, where that sort of thing is not tolerated:

On Monday in a Bangladesh courtroom, a judge read the following charge to a defendant [Choudhury]: “By praising the Jews and Christians, by attempting to travel to Israel and by predicting the so-called rise of Islamist militancy in the country and expressing such through writings inside the country and abroad, you have tried to damage the image and relations of Bangladesh with the outside world. For which, charges under section 295-A, 120-A, 124-A, 105-A, and 108A are brought against you.

Salah Uddin Shoaib Choudhury:
Courageous Muslim Faces Death for Praising Jews, Christians
Hmmm . . . Why didn’t the introduction of “Sesame Street” in Bangladesh stop this? Apparently–and way too predictably, kumbaya “We Are the World” BS doesn’t work very well.
Time for more elephants to get angry with Bangladesh.

By Debbie Schlussel
Well, well, well. It seems Laurie David, Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCrapio, Cameron Diaz, and all those other Hollywood stars lecturing us on the environment have contributed to the environment a whole lot . . . by making movies.
A UCLA study found that Hollywood is polluting Los Angeles by making movies, literally:

Special effects explosions, idling vehicles, teams of workers building monumental sets and other aspects of the Hollywood movie business contribute to Los Angeles’ poor air quality, a university study finds. The film and television industry and associated activities make a larger contribution to air pollution in the five-county Los Angeles region than almost all five other sectors researched, according to the study by the University of California at Los Angeles. The industry topped aerospace manufacturing, apparel, hotels and semiconductor manufacturing. Only petroleum manufacturing produced more emissions. The study does note environmentally responsible efforts within the industry. For example, production teams for The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions arranged for 97.5% of set materials to be recycled, including some 11,000 tons of concrete, steel and lumber. All the steel was recycled and 37 truckloads of lumber were reused in housing for low-income families in Mexico.

So, now, until all of the above-named celebs stop making movies, they need to shut up. And they can shut up after that, too.
****UPDATE: Reader Sean writes:

So let me get this straight. The Matrix Reloaded/Revolutions crew recycled 97% of their sets to be used in low income housing….in MEXICO?? So, no AMERICANS needed any low income housing? Try this scenario: The recycled material was picked up, loaded and driven to Mexico by illegal aliens who then came back “home” to their regular jobs in America. I’m dizzy…I think I need to drink some water or something.

Amen to that. I’m dizzy, too.

By Debbie Schlussel
the price cable operators must pay for NFL Games?!
No joke. Arlen Specter held Senate Judiciary hearings, yesterday, on the NFL Network and whether or not they’re charging Time Warner too much to carry it.
Well, no wonder Republicans lost the Senate. Is this really an issue anyone needs to care about? What ever happened to the free market?
Billionaires vs. Billionaires. Who cares?

By Debbie Schlussel
One of my favorite old-school comedians is Don Rickles. His humor and put-downs are timeless and eternally hilarious.
He turned 80, this year, and has an interview in today’s USA Today. Best part:

Is there anyone in your family who wishes you would slow down?
No, my wife likes jewelry.

When he’s gone, his career in comedy will have lasted far longer than Sacha Baron Cohen’s will.

By Debbie Schlussel
Why are so many respectable GOP Congressman (plus Hezbollah pimp Rep. Ray LaHood) supporting Hezbollah/Arafat/Syria devotee and anti-Semite, Rep. Darrell Issa a/k/a Jihad Darrell, for Chairman of the powerful Republican Policy Committee? Has the GOP given up on fighting terror? Is that the message they got from last week’s elections?
If it is, they’d better wake up.
Why is the possibility that Jihad Darrell could get this position a frightening prospect and an outrage? Read my piece from the Los Angeles Jewish Journal in 2003. It’s also accessible at DarrellIssa.net (which I own).

Jihad Darrell’s Crying Game:
Pro-Hezbollah Rep. Darrell Issa Wants to Set GOP Policy
Then, there’s this gem from an interview he gave this month to his hometown paper:

So put yourself in these shoes: You are a veteran Republican congressman of Lebanese Christian descent who is one of the most prominent Arab-American politicians in the country. . . .
So you are meeting with your local newspaper’s editorial board, one of whose whiny members (that would be me) keeps pounding away at you over the ridiculous overspending by the Republican Congress. So while generally defending your party and your colleagues, you do, over the course of an hourlong interview, criticize two aspects of federal spending.
One is crop subsidies for well-off farmers.
And the other is ….. homeland-security funding for cameras and other security measures for Jewish organizations.
!!????!!!!!!!!!!

For the record, about $2 million out of billions of Homeland Security grants went to synagogues in the San Francisco area (where a Muslim from Afghanistan recently went on a driving rampage) to improve their security, including $36,000 that a local synagogue spent on cameras.
And out of gazillions of dollars in wasteful spending, Jihad Darrell attacks the Jews. Is this the kind of guy Republicans should be electing to a leadership position . . . deciding policy?!
Tell your GOP Congressman to VOTE NO on Jihad Darrell for Republican Policy Committee Chairman.
Thanks to Reader Dayna for alerting me to Jihad Darrell’s list of GOP Congressional supporters. Scary!

By Debbie Schlussel
Remember flabulous filmmaker Michael Moore’s recent plea to help the Dems win the mid-term elections. Well, now, he’s back to gloat.
Here’s the beginning of his hypocritical, moralistic lecture (We’re his “brothers and sisters”). Love the part where he tells us what he and the Dems will “do to us”–is that a threat?:

Tuesday, November 14th, 2006
A Liberal’s Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives …by Michael Moore
To My Conservative Brothers and Sisters,

I know you are dismayed and disheartened at the results of last week’s election. You’re worried that the country is heading toward a very bad place you don’t want it to go. Your 12-year Republican Revolution has ended with so much yet to do, so many promises left unfulfilled. You are in a funk, and I understand.
Well, cheer up, my friends! Do not despair. I have good news for you. I, and the millions of others who are now in charge with our Democratic Congress, have a pledge we would like to make to you, a list of promises that we offer you because we value you as our fellow Americans. You deserve to know what we plan to do with our newfound power — and, to be specific, what we will do to you and for you.
Thus, here is our Liberal’s Pledge to Disheartened Conservatives:
Dear Conservatives and Republicans, . . . .

Blechhhhh! Read the rest at your own blood pressure peril.
Thanks to Reader Casey for the tip.

By Debbie Schlussel
As I’ve written before, I knew Jack Abramoff–not well–but never liked or trusted the guy and always warned people to stay away from this phony blowhard. I told anyone and everyone about my suspicions of Jack’s involvement with the mob. They didn’t want to believe me, and as with many things, I turned out to be right.
As soon as I knew that Sen. John McCain and his committee were investigating Casino Jack, I told them everything I knew about his nefarious dealings with the casino gambling company, the mysterious murder, and the extremist Muslims with which he and his money-laundering bud, Grover Norquist, were cavorting and doing biz. Jack and Grover were Islamofascist Sleazebag-a-Palooza, Inc.

Jack Abramoff and Grover Norquist:
1/2 of the Sleazebag-a-Palooza Goes to Prison. When Will the Other Half?
Jack is entering the fed big house, tomorrow. Did he give the feds the info they required about Jihad Grover? Sure hope so.
My dad, a C-SPAN junkie, told me that an interesting guest was on C-SPAN’s crappy morning show, yesterday: Grover Norquist. He was amused and said I would be, too, with the many vicious questions Norquist rightly received from C-SPAN’s cantankerous, gerontological callers. Many asked him why he wasn’t in jail. Great question. Anyone else in his shoes would be–and certainly would be too ashamed to be on C-SPAN or anywhere else.
It’s well known that Norquist, extremist Muslims’ best buddy in the GOP, used his Americans for Tax Reform a/k/a “Arabs for Tax Reform,” to launder money for many donors to political groups. He took a cut of money from those giving money to political groups which were not tax-deductible, and gave them a tax deduction in return. Anyone else doing this would be behind bars by now, but anyone else isn’t best buds with Karl Rove.
Yes, far from being an American for Tax Reform, Jihad Grover (a flamboyantly effeminate fellow–if you know what I mean–is married to a beard, er . . . has a beard, and is married to a Palestinian Muslim woman) is an American for Tax Fraud on the rest of us Americans. You see, we pay for those tax deductions he gave to people. And for that, he got paid.
Norquist skimmed over $1 million dollars from Abramoff’s Indian Tribe clients, even though he provided no service to them other than illegal money laundering and a tax deduction. It’s well known that Norquist does this for a lot of conservative donors to non-tax deductible conservative groups, something that should put him in the slammer, but, oddly, hasn’t.
Then, there’s that little issue of his Islamic Free Market Institute group that got Muslims who are strongly tied to terrorists key jobs in the White House, Homeland Security, the Dept. of Transportation, etc. By the way, know of any Islamic Free Markets? Neither do I.
And finally, why is tax defrauder, money-launderer, and Islamofascist tool Norquist still on the national board of the NRA–the National Rifle Association? You gotta ask Wayne LaPierre why he’d welcome a terrorist-aiding, money-laundering, tax-defrauding, fashionably flamboyant (“not that there’s anything wrong with that”) bizarro bearded man on the board of his hallowed organization.
I do know this: Norquist must have incriminating photos of LaPierre because I was once disinvited as a speaker at the NRA national convention because Norquist was mad about my writing on the terrorist activity of Sami Al-Arian and the support Congressman Darrell Issa gave to Hezbollah. I was “too outspoken against terrorism,” this loser employee chick of the NRA phoned to tell me. I suppose I’m too outspoken against child molestation and murder, too. The nerve.
I was re-invited after I told the NRA I’d talk about it on a nationally syndicated radio show, the next day. And that’s the only reason I was re-invited. I learned a big lesson about the NRA from that episode:
Yes, the NRA is apparently a one-issue organization. But the issue ain’t the 2nd Amendment. It’s terrorists’ (and Grover’s) interests above NRA members’ and America’s.
Time for Jihad Grover to do time. And for the NRA to have the testicles to say Sayonara, Grover Norquist.

By Debbie Schlussel
In June, I wrote about Wiccan veterans who are fighting for recognition by the U.S. Armed Forces. They want the right to have the Wiccan pentacle on tombstones in military cemeteries, and are fighting the Department of Veterans Affairs’ National Cemetery Administration over it.
And now some widows of Wiccan military vets are suing over it.
Many Wiccans served with honor, and some died while fighting terrorists, including Patrick Stewart, who gave his life in Afghanistan.

Wiccan Pentacle
Even though I do not believe in witches and don’t identify or empathize with religions that do, it’s absurd that we allow crescent symbols on the few Muslim military graves, but won’t recognize these people. The facts are these: The IRS already recognizes the Wiccan religion, and the U.S. military already recognizes and sanctions the use of 38 religious symbols on tombstones, including the atomic whirl for atheists.
There is no reason our government should be saying that these men who served their country and fought extremists can’t have their religious symbol on their tombstones, while the religion of the men who took their lives and that of 3,000 Americans on 9/11 gets full recognition at Arlington National Cemetery and beyond.
If we let some have their crescent, there is no reason why we cannot let others have their pentacle. Read my complete take on the story.

By Debbie Schlussel
Every day, I’m asked whom I’m supporting for President in 2008. I’ve looked over the potential candidates, and on the Republican side, I believe the best, by far, is Rudy Giuliani, who took the first step toward a run, yesterday, with an exploratory committee.
(On the Democratic side, the best guy who’s been talked about as a Presidential contender is Senator Evan Bayh from Indiana, who truly understands the Islamic threat and is a more moderate Democrat–which is why he’ll never get the nomination.)
Yes, I’m pro-life and against gay rights, where Giuliani shares neither of my views on these issues. But, to me, the terrorism issue is far more important, #1 on the list. Right now, we have a President who is pro-life, against gay rights, and pretends to be the “Counterterrorism Prez.” But, actually, he’s done nothing substantive on any of these issues.

Rudy Giuliani:
Then-NYC Mayor Had Guts to Stop Yasser Arafat’s Stateside Escapades
So, I’ll take the guy who I know will have the guts to do what Bush does not. I believe Giuliani is that man. He’s proven that time and again, whether it was when he told terror-supporting Saudi Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal to take his $10 million and shove it (right after 9/11) or when he severely restricted Yasser Arafat’s travel in New York (kicking him out of a concert).
A man who will do those things vs. Bush PC on Islam is the man we need to run this country. He’s probably also the man who can handle the illegal alien problem and actually see to it that something is done about it. Not sure on his position on guest workers, but we’ll soon enough find out.
It will be a difficult matter for a pro-choice, pro-gay rights candidate (and, again, I oppose Giuliani on these issues) to get the GOP nomination. We’ll see.
So for those who want to know who I’m supporting for Prez, I say, “Viva Rudy.” America’s Mayor has what it takes to be America’s President.

Gutsy Giuliani Tells Saudi Prince Alwaleed Where to Go