By Debbie Schlussel
There’s a reason there’s no such phrase as “Tall, Frosted, and Handsome.”
Unfortunately, AP reports that the new Blond (or, in his case, is that Blonde?) James Bond, Daniel Craig, has inspired more men than ever to “get James Bond’s look” and bleach their hair. And that so many men are already frosting their hair.
Eeuuw. A nation of Ryan Seacrests is not a good thing. Nothing against real blond men. Just the ones who go to a salon. They need to go on an exploratory mission to search for their lost testosterone.

New Bond Daniel Craig & Ryan Seacrest:
Blonde Ambition Not For Men

By Debbie Schlussel
* Syrian foreign minister Walid Moallem claims that if the U.S. leaves Iraq, then all terrorism there will end immediately.
Uh, no. If Syria stops harboring terrorists and letting them bleed over its borders into Iraq, then all terrorism there will end immediately. Ditto for its “partner in peace” (or partner in something) Iran, which is fomenting the Mahdi Army, the Shia terrorists.
* Israel announced it was targeting HAMAS terrorist leaders for death. So, hijab-encrusted Palestinian women did a little experiment in Beit Hanoun, a week and a half ago. They served as human shields for terrorists holed up in a building there, terrorists who murdered innocents and shelled Israel with rockets. A few of the women got shot, garnering world sympathy, and even that of Israel’s Cindy Sheehan, Noam Shalit.
Now the terrorist-aiding-and-abetting women have extended the technique, full-scale. In Beit Lahiya, Israel was targeting HAMAS Popular Resistance Committee leader Mohammed Baroud. By Sunday afternoon, two doxen women were on Baroud’s rooftop serving as human shilds. They and the men with them, as well as others on the street shouted the perfunctory

Death to Israel. Death to America.

Time to bomb them all. Human shields know the risks. Protect a mass murderer and aid in his further mass murders, and you are as bad as he is. Collateral damage may not make for good PR, but their elimination is as necessary as his.
Brings to mind what President Bush once said (but apparently never meant):

You’re either on our side or the terrorists’ side.

You can’t be on both.

By Debbie Schlussel
Did we really need to see Joe Namath cry and hear that he has an imaginary friend? Yet another man’s man deconstructed to girlie-man. Liked him better like this, when at age 26, he wrote his autobiography.

Front & Back Covers of Best Joe Namath Autobiography
(From the DebbieSchlussel.com Library)

By Debbie Schlussel
Our friend, former high-ranking INS agent Mike Cutler, alerts us to tonight’s “60 Minutes,” on which reporter Steve Kroft will do a feature on Hazleton, Pennsylvania and its efforts to make life tougher for illegal aliens. Kroft will interview Hazleton Mayor Lou Barletta about the problems the aliens cause for the city and the laws they are trying to enforce, which make it harder for illegals to live there (a federal judge put a hold on that for now).
Since “60 Minutes” has been notoriously pro-illegal alien and anti-those of us who want the problem stemmed and the law enforced, we can’t vouch for the content, but the video snippet here (go to “CBS News Video” on right-hand side and click on “Preview: Hazleton, Pa.”) looks promising.
Non-Bonus Stories also on tonight’s “60 Minutes“: Story on tigers–YAAAAAAAWN!; Story on Joe Willie Namath and his attempt to overcome alcoholism, which he blames for his “I wanna kiss you” comments to Suzie Kolber on live ESPN air. How many more NFL men’s men do we need to see “humanized” and sensitive-man-ized?

By Debbie Schlussel
Only one reason to note the bizarro Tom Cruise-Katie Holmes marriage, yesterday, on this site: Bride Holmes, who usually towers over cruise even in flat shoes (she’s several inches taller) has suddenly shrunken a few inches for this official bridal shot. Yes, the vanity of Tom Cruise and other Hollywood stars like him goes even that low (well, to be fair, she’s the one going low–bending her knees and leaning down–to look shorter). “Now, Kate, after I jumped on that Oprah couch, it wouldn’t look good if you are taller than me in our wedding photos, so scoot down.” More smoke and mirrors from Hollywood.
By the way, just how does a Scientology wedding ceremony go, anyway?–“Does your e-meter take her e-meter ’til L. Ron Hubbard science fiction death do you part?” Just curious.

Hey, look, in this pic, Tom Cruise is taller than Oprah, too (and she’s even wearing high heels) . . .

By Debbie Schlussel

Three politically correct movies and a dull James Bond come to the movies, this weekend. Incredibly, I’m rooting for the dull, girlie-man Bond to defeat the others, the lesser of several silver screen evils:

* “Casino Royale“–Read my complete assessment of the new James Bond actor, Daniel Craig, because that’s really half of my review, with which this half is a companion.

When did James Bond become such a girlie-man? At the beginning of his career, according to this one. Remember all of those hot, buxom women he had? Forget them because they ain’t in this film. In this movie, he has but one woman, and she’s a boring, homely, flat-chested accountant played by French actress Eva Green.

Bond giving up his whole career to sail around the islands with this French actress? Not believable or exciting. Ditto for the boring poker game scenes. That’s not Bond action adventure. Sure, there is quite a bit of action in this one, but it just isn’t exciting. It’s dull like the new Bond actor, Daniel Craig, a dead-ringer for Vladimir Putin mixed with Alfred E. Neuman.
And the villain? A guy named Le Chiffre who cries tears of blood? Yawn. Blofeld and Goldfinger beat him by a mile, several miles. The plot isn’t exciting either. Someone short-selling bonds and a poker game to win the money back. Ho hum.

The humanized, sensitive man, biker-shorts and jeans-wearing, tiny Bond? Yawner. Put some testosterone back in Bond. He needs it. A double O serving of it. Again, read my full critique of Daniel Craig, the newest, dullest Bond. Ever. In this case, Blonde equals Blah. Double-O-Blah.

Daniel Craig: Bond . . . James Bond, or Putin . . . Vlad Putin

* “Fast Food Nation“–OY! Sick propaganda. AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE. Long and boring, but so sick and offensive that people walked out throughout the film. By the end, over half the audience was gone. And they were the smart ones. Did Morgan Spurlock write a fiction film? That’s what this movie is like only WAY worse. The feel bad movie of the year.
Centers around a fast food burger chain, “Mickey’s,” which is supposed to be McDonald’s. Mickey’s employees pitting into someone’s burger and that someone eating it; Illegal aliens taking drugs and working at a meat plant, losing their limbs in the meat grinder; Scenes of animals being mutilated and torn apart for the meat; Illegal aliens having sex in trucks with meat plant supervisors to keep their jobs–If these are the kinds of scenes you want to see, then this movie is for you. For the rest of us, skip this 2-hour horror show.

The thesis of this movie is that fast-food chains have fecal material in their burgers, that human parts get in them, too, that illegal aliens pack the meat and torture animals to kill them, then dismember them in a disgusting way, etc., etc., etc. The idea is to gross you out and disgust you so much that you’ll never eat another burger. Don’t see the film and give in to that wish. It’s pure propaganda not based on any facts about McDonald’s.
Oh, and by the way, Avril Lavigne, you’re pretty, but you can’t act. Stay outta the movie biz. Others in this crappy, disgusting piece of celluloid dung include Greg Kinnear, a dusted off Kris Kristofferson, Patricia Arquette, and punk Ethan Hawke. Don’t forget that this horrid, left-wing, PETA-inspired film is brought to you by Rupert Murdoch’s FOX Searchlight Pictures.

* “Bobby“–Emilio Estevez wrote, directed, and co-stars in this dumb over-rated version of “The Love Boat,” involving fictional characters at a hotel who work there or on the Robert F. Kennedy campaign. Falsely named, since the movie is not about RFK and is pure fiction.
The movie ends with his assassination at the hotel. Hmmm . . . wasn’t Sirhan Sirhan an Arab who was doing the bidding of Palestinian Muslims? You’d hardly know because they don’t mention that or focus on it, and strangely, he wasn’t a character in the movie. Instead a woman (Lindsay Lohan) who marries a classmate to keep him from being sent to Vietnam is the focus. That’s glorified, and that’s why the left loves it. Ditto for more lefty cause celebres– hotel employees who sleep around or are members of various minority groups and are treated bad by Whitey and the Man.
Dumb scenes of hippie Ashton Kutcher tripping out on acid and mushrooms with preppy RFK campaign workers. Lots of ugly Sixties hairdos and clothes on trashy (how appropriate) Sharon Stone and Demi Moore. Dumb, very dumb, but left-wing baby boomers will love reminiscing back on their time which is well past.

It was hilarious to watch multiple real-life scenes of pudgy Emilio Estevez, a grown man (we thought), on Oprah, crying about writing and making this movie. Get over yourself, Emilio, your movie ain’t a masterpiece or even good. It sucks. And stop being a girlie man. Estevez told the Oprah audience that America became bad and uncivil after RFK died and that we need to relearn how to be good people. Speak for yourself, dude.
Guys, you will hate this film. Avoid being forced to take your girlfriend or wife to this film at all costs. Extreme skipworthiness.

* “Happy Feet“–A tap-dancing emperor penguin may be cute, but this movie is very frightening for kids. If you want your children indoctrinated with politically correct messages about the environment, alleged over-fishing, and pollution, take your kids to see this politically correct, animated penguin movie. And scare them half to death. Otherwise, skip it. The Sierra Club loves this movie. That’s a hint.

By Debbie Schlussel
Interpol Secretary-General Ron Noble said Europe is not fighting terrorism on the most basic levels:

“I am saying there is an international failure to fight terrorism at the most basic level — that no rational citizen of any of our countries would accept if they were made aware of how significant the failure is and how easy it would be to correct.”
Noble said Interpol had a database of more than 13 million stolen and lost passports. But apart from Switzerland, which uncovered 100 people carrying stolen documents every month, no country comprehensively checked passports against its list.
He said the public would find it hard to understand why a measure which could prevent a terrorist attack and was “obvious to do, easy to do and a modest cost” was not being done. He said heads of state and senior ministers would be to blame.
“After September 11, if a citizen were to learn that a terrorist attack occurred by someone having entered their country with a stolen passport that was registered with Interpol but their country wasn’t regularly checking it, I say governments would fall,” he said.

Glad he’s talking, but it won’t change anything in Europe. Or here. Wake up, world.

By Debbie Schlussel

Free speech in America isn’t worth anything if it isn’t applied equally.

Take the sons and daughters of Italy who’ve been a part of this country from its founding.

This week, a judge ruled against Italian Americans upset over a suburban Chicago middle school school play titled “Fuggedaboutit–A Little Mobster Comedy,” performed by “the Bada Bing Players.”

I agree with the Italians.

When Italians complained about mobster movies or shows, like “The Sopranos,” I used to think they were wrong and over-reacting. I never thought of Italians as mobsters and shows and movies wouldn’t change that. The Italians I grew up with were as absorbed into American life as anyone and mostly from upper middle class families. Their parents were successful executives, professionals, and business owners. It wasn’t until well out of college that I met anyone with any relatives in the mob.

But when I think about it more deeply, I don’t think I’d like it if plays, movies, and TV shows constantly showed Jews as murderers, thugs, and criminals.

And when I think about it even more, I wonder if the federal judge in Illinois who ruled against the Italians would have taken a different side if the play was an accurate depiction of Muslims in America, most of whom morally support terrorists and several of whom have been involved in terrorist plots. Would an Illinois middle school ever consider doing a play called, “Allah Hu Akbar–A Little Jihad Comedy” performed by the Islamofascist Players? Doubtful.

So why is it okay for a middle school to perform such a play defaming Italians, the majority of whom hate the mob and have never had anything to do with it? According to USA Today, federal prosecutors say the mob is almost dead in America, with only about 6 organized crime families left, if even that many. Extremist Islam and terrorist plots by Muslims, on the other hand, are on the rise. And they enjoy a lot of support in the greater so-called moderate Islamic community.

What is a middle school doing having a play about the mob, anyway? Of what educational value is it? Very little if any.

This isn’t really about free speech. Anyone can perform any play or film any movie or series about Italians and the mob anytime they want across America . . . in the private sector. But, even though free speech laws allow it to, an American public school (which would bow to the whims and objections of most other minorities) has no business featuring–or even sanctioning–such a play and should have had better taste and the class to say no.
Having the right to free speech doesn’t mean not having the right–the responsibility–to exercise restraint sometimes and applying that restraint equally . . . not just when favored, politically correct minorities are involved.

If our public schools are going to bend over backward and be PC ad absurdum to the “Religion of Peace,” why not to Italian-Americans? Either there is free speech for everyone . . . or no-one.

The Rotolo Middle School in Batavia, Illinois–when presented with the idea of showing this play–should have responded, “Fuggedaboutit.”

By Debbie Schlussel
We’ve heard rumors that Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) chieftess, Julie L. Myers a/k/a “The ICE Princess,” is on the chopping block. But if she doesn’t go–of her own volition after having her expected baby or by forced “resignation”–she’s sitting in the catbird seat. If the Democrats fall for her and Bush’s scam of claiming that her unworthy recess appointment lasts until 2009, and not December of this year, she’ll have an easy ride. Why?
Well, do the three names, Sheila Jackson Lee, mean anything to you? She’s the nutcase Congresswoman from Texas we’ve had a lot of fun with ever since her election to Congress. Unfortunately, the fun for us may end soon, with her likely chairmanship of the House Immigration Subcommittee, today’s Wall Street Journal “Washington Wire” reports.

Sheila Jackson Lee: “Yeah! My Team From Mars Won the WNBA Title”
Although California Rep. Zoe Lofgren is expected to challenge her, Jackson Lee is in line for the job and will likely get it. Otherwise cries of racism will abound, and Nancy Facelift Pelosi doesn’t want that.
Since Jackson Lee is clueless in her extremism, expect The ICE Princess to get away with the cornucopia of incompetence she’s displayed thus far, and much, much more.
In case you forgot, Jackson Lee is the one who asked whether the Mars Pathfinder would be able to get a picture of the flag the astronauts planted there. Yup, she actually thought that Neil Armstrong landed on Mars, not the Moon. And don’t forget her other utterances of absurdity. A Black woman, she once complained that the names of hurricanes were “too lily White.” One Hurricane LaToya, comin’ right up.
And Jackson Lee is a fan of HAMAS-front group CAIR, always taking up the Islamist cause. Picking up Muslim illegal aliens will now be as out in the rest of the U.S. as it is in Michigan under Abu Moskowitz.

Sheila Jackson Lee & Her Friends
Don’t expect Sheila Jackson Lee to call The ICE Princess to the carpet on anything. Instead, she’ll probably ask her: Girlfriend, why isn’t a lily White chick like you doing anything about the illegal aliens on Mars? We’re sure Myers, the ultimate BSer, will tell her about all the great things that ICE agents have achieved, under “her” leadership on Mars.
Very clueless. Our country is doomed.
***
LoneStarTimes has a Sheila Jackson Lee photo gallery that is worth a look.

By Debbie Schlussel
Even in this gloomy time, sometimes good things happen, and the House Republicans do the right thing.
Yesterday, I wrote a New York Post column about Congressman Darrell Issa a/k/a “Jihad Darrell” and his quest to become Chairman of the Republican Policy Committee. I wrote more about it on this site. As I wrote, the man has a consistent record of supporting and aiding Hezbollah, Syrian leader Bashar Assad, and Palestinian terrorists.
High-ranking Capitol Hill sources tell me that my column on Issa was heavily circulated, yesterday, among House GOP Congressmen, many of whom took heed and voted for McCotter. This morning, the majority of House Republican Congressmen saw the light. They elected Michigan Congressman Thaddeus McCotter over Issa by more than a 2-1 margin, 132-63 votes.

So Sad, Too Bad:
Jihad Darrell Loses Race for House GOP Policy Chairman
Good for them. Proof that even a pan-Arabist gazillionaire like Issa–who has lied and stolen his way to the top–can’t always buy his way to victory.
I hope this big defeat will give Issa a hint that he should abandon his ambitions for higher office and leadership positions. There is no place for jihadists in those roles in America.
A note about Thad McCotter. In October 2004, I attended a Council on American Islamic Relations (CAIR)-Michigan candidate forum. I was initially disappointed to see McCotter there. He gave a very friendly speech asserting that these were peaceful people (when they are not). However, my view on McCotter changed when I saw him tell off the CAIR board members and attendees on issues ranging from the war in Iraq to Israel to what it means to be an American.
A then-CAIR board member, Shi’ite Muslim nurse Najah Bazzy, a third-generation American who wears a hijab, said she is “embarrassed to be an American.” McCotter responded and told her off (and where to go). It was a great moment that told me what he’s about. Since then, Bazzy donated an anti-Israel propaganda tape (about the Jenin so-called “massacre”) for an anti-Israel exhibit at the National Arab American Musuem. She is also likely involved in a Medicaid and citizenship scam for pregnant Muslim foreigners who get Medicaid coverage and U.S. citizenship for their babies born here.

Najah Bazzy: Proud. . . er, “Embarrassed to Be an American”
Congratulations to Congressman McCotter–who has a great record on issues relating to terrorism, America’s national security, and Israel–on his win.

New House GOP Policy Committee Chairman Thaddeus McCotter