By Debbie Schlussel
This story is hilarious and really needs no comment, except maybe that that’s what deserves to happen to what some people mistakenly think is “art”.
And that someone’s electricity “went to sh-t”:

Giant Inflatable Turd Escapes Moorings and Brings Down Electricity Line
An inflatable dog turd the size of a house has blown away from a modern art exhibition in a Swiss museum before bringing down an electricity line and smashing a greenhouse window.
“Complex Sh-t”, a sculpture by the American artist Paul McCarthy, cast loose its moorings and was lifted by a sudden gust of wind from the Paul Klee centre in Berne and carried 200 yards to eventually make landfall in the grounds of a children’s home.
Museum authorities said the work had an automatic safety device that was supposed to make it deflate in the event of a storm – but it failed to operate.
The museum’s director Juri Steiner said Mr McCarthy had not yet been informed of the fate of his artwork, and that he had not yet decided whether to reinstall it in the centre’s garden.
The sculpture was featured in an exhibition called “East of Eden. A Garden Show”.
The Paul Klee centre’s website described the show as containing “interweaving, diverse, not to say conflictive emphases and a broad spectrum of items to form a dynamic exchange of parallel and self-eclipsing spatial and temporal zones.” [DS: HUH?! What the heck does that mean? That’s excrement as much as the exhibit.]
In other words, so far as the harsher critics of modern art might be concerned: what happens when la merde hits le ventilateur.

Exactly. Bah-Dum-Bum-Ch.
Sorry, but I don’t think I’m gonna post a picture with this story, for obvious reasons of taste and aesthetics.

By Debbie Schlussel
Two movies, one debuting tonight at Midnight (“Tropic Thunder”) and the other (“When Did You Last See Your Father?”) was out Friday, but I didn’t get a chance to review it ’til now.
* “Tropic Thunder“: This movie started out strong and finished flat and stupid and ever vulgar. It was very funny at the beginning, with the best part being the fake movie trailers that parody today’s stars like “Sylvester Stallone” and sundry rap star moguls who pimp energy drinks and want to be taken seriously as actors. The clips from “Access Hollywood” and other entertainment shows are funny, too.

I especially liked Robert Downey, Jr.’s character in this movie, a pretentious Australian who gets a skin operation to become a Black guy. He has you convinced in this movie that he’s really Black, which drives the real Black actor in the movie, nuts.
The story is essentially a parody of Hollywood and Hollywood stars. Several actors are making a movie about the Vietnam War. The movie is the story of the making of that movie, during which they suddenly find themselves at war with actual Asian druglord terrorists.
Ben Stiller plays the Sly Stallone-esque character. His career as “The Scorcher” is downhill, after several sequels. And his movie attempt at playing a retarded man is a failure and laughed at throughout Hollywood. It is his portrayal of “Simple Jack” that has elicited protests of “Tropic Thunder” by activists for the mentally disabled.
Brandon T. Jackson, a Detroit-born comedian, plays rapper Alpa Cino (haha, funny), who sells “Booty Sweat” energy drinks and wants to be a serious actor. Jack Black plays a fat actor who makes fart and fat people movies and also wants to be taken seriously.
And finally, there is Tom Cruise, who plays Len Grossman–a stereotypical balding Jewish Hollywood producer mogul who dances around to rap music, has sycophantic assistants, and constantly yells and screams obscenities at everyone around him. Normally, this is the part where I’d complain about this kind of stereotypical portrayal of Jews in Hollywood. But sadly, I hate to say that this is what many of them have become. Was Cruise wearing a prosthetic nose? Now, that I do object to.
The one great thing about this film is that no Hollywood stereotype is off-limits, from the BS-ing agent, to the animal-rights panda-pandering hypocrite celeb, to the scummy producer who doesn’t value the human lives of his actors one iota.
While I thought the movie started off well and laughed a lot throughout, it quickly degraded into a disgusting set of events, from a whole scene with a beheaded head to some really gross, graphic dialogue. The P-word is frequently uttered and there is a sick part with false teeth that is the reason for the real-life protests of the mentally disabled activists.
Given the gross dialogue and sick beheading scene, I have to downgrade my rating. So I barely even give it a. . .
HALF REAGAN

* “When Did You Last See Your Father?“: Having just lost my father about a year ago, this was tough for me to watch. Although my father was nothing like the philandering jerk in this movie, the part with him dying of cancer and wanting to ask and say certain last things to the soon-to-be-departed parent, without really getting the chance, is a vivid memory.
It’s the story of Blake (Colin Firth), a married writer in England who learns that his father is dying of cancer. His father was always a scammer and cad who also was having–he suspected–an extramarital affair with a family friend. Blake always wanted to be a writer, and his father always wanted him to be a doctor, and is never happy with his son’s achievements.
Blake comes to his parents home to be around him as his father is dying. We see him have flashback memories of growing up–of all of the times he caught his father cheating, and of his father’s cheapness and scams, but also of all the times his father took him camping, taught him to drive, etc. While his father is dying, Blake is reminded of his resentment for his dad, but once his father is gone, he finally realizes that, for all his faults, his father loved him and helped him grow up.
I had mixed feelings about this movie. Through about half of it, I thought, wow, is this movie horrid and depressing. But then, about halfway through, I realized that the ending message is a good one. It was touching and made me cry, as the grown son finally realizes his father’s love after his death and cries.
Bottom line: Not all fathers are perfect. Everyone has their faults and things that lead them astray. But Blake realizes that, despite his father’s philandering and carrying on, he loved his son, cared about him very much, and tried the best he knew how.
TWO-AND-A-HALF REAGANS

By Debbie Schlussel
Today, at 4:00 pm Eastern, I will make my regular appearance on the “Culture Shocks,” the radio show of uber-liber, Rev. Barry Lynn. Listen Live. I don’t agree with him on much, but he’s a nice guy, and it’s fun to do. On for the whole hour.

By Debbie Schlussel
As I’ve already said a few times, I think the Olympic Games is a joke, and I’m mostly not paying attention. If Michael Phelps gets the 8 medals and sets the record, what will that do for you, me, or America? Not much. But it’ll do a heckuva lot for sales of that Speedo unitard swimsuit contraption. Didn’t Jamie Lee Curtis, Jane Fonda, and Olivia Newton-John wear those in the ’80s? Remember, Mark Spitz was a true amateur in a tiny Speedo bikini with a hirsute body to slow him down. This guy, Phelps, is a well-paid, vitamin/electrolyte/magic protein-engorged professional encased in a second-skin cheater’s uniform.
That said, there two moments that are my favorites in Olympic history. The first is the win of the 1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey Team against the Soviet Union in the semi-finals. Fortunately, I was around to see that, and it is well-depicted in the movie, “Miracle“.

John Woodruff & Jesse Owens Prevailed @ Nazi Olympics
The other moment–or set of moments–I was not around to see. In 1936, Black American athletes John Woodruff and Jesse Owens won gold medals at the Berlin Olympics, an incredible thumb in the face of Adolf Hitler. Though it is only half a thumb because Owens–who had already won several medals at the Nazi Games–and another runner replaced two Jewish athletes, Sam Stoller and Marty Glickman, on the 4×100 meter relay. They were benched because they were Jewish, and anti-Semites, like Average Brundage, ran the U.S. Olympic Committee.
Last week, a memorial was erected at Indianapolis’ Crown Hill Cemetery to honor Woodruff, the first Black American to win Olympic gold at Hitler’s Olympic Games. He won the 800-meter track event in a novel way: Finding himself trapped between runners in the 800 meters, he came to a full stop, switched lanes and passed all of his competition. He died, last year, at 92.
It’s unfortunate that Woodruff and Owens don’t get half the attention that the Olympians who did the Black Power salute got and continue to get.
They prevailed when prevailing was not about endorsements or NBC coverage. It was about standing tough against Nazis. Today, it is about appeasing Chi-Coms and Speedo and Nike and Palestinians and Iranians. Yesterday, Owens and Woodruff showed up our enemies. Today, we reach out to them under some fraudulent guise of Olympic “unity” and “spirit,” whatever that means.
***
Reader Kevin B. writes:

French teams: All white
Chinese teams: All Chinese
Japanese teams: All Japanese
Russian teams: All white
Iranian teams: All Persian
American teams: Black, Russian, Chinese, Indian, White, etc.
America, the great satan, the racist country who treats immigrants so horribly. THAT America.
And the silence is deafening from the Liberals in the media.
What a nice cover story it would make for the NY Times or the LA Times or even NBC to do about the inclusivity, tolerance and diversity which makes America great.
Don’t hold your breath. It doesn’t fit their “blame America first” liberal agenda.

Pretty much.

By Debbie Schlussel
Yesterday, King Abdullah of Jordan was in Iraq.
He was the very first–and only–Arab head of state since America went to war with Iraq in 2003. That’s notable because as of yesterday, 4,127 U.S. soldiers and 11 Defense Department civilians died in Iraq and exactly zero Jordanian or other non-Iraqi Arab soldiers–unless you count the many insurgent terrorists that came from Jordan, Saudi Arabia, Syria, etc. to attack our troops and help contribute to the 4,127 figure.
We gave the blood. They–including King Abdullah–gave nothing. Now, that things are supposed to be “better” there, suddenly the Arab leaders want to take advantage of what we achieved there. Where the heck were Abdullah and his fellow fat Muslim Arab dictators for the last five years? Other than at the Bush ranch and in their own palaces, nowhere to be seen.

King Abdullah, Iraqi “Refugees” Salute American Sacrifices in Iraq
So, thanks for nothing, King Abdullah. Thanks, but no thanks. And in this case (and many other cases concerning our “moderate” “ally” Jordan), better never than late.
***
On another note regarding our “moderate” Arab “allies” and their support for Iraq, Egypt is sending hundreds of Iraqis back home to Iraq, and accelerating their return. According to the International Organization of Migration, 13,000 Iraqis have returned to the country from neighboring Arab nations. Iraqi leaders gave them free flights home.
But where’s the plane home from the U.S.? Please tell me why if these thousands of Iraqis in Arab lands can return to their country, why must we take in 60,000 of them and make them U.S. citizens, as I’ve noted? Please tell me why.
Again, thanks but no thanks, and better NEVER than late.

By Debbie Schlussel
For those of you who saw it, why did you go to see “The Dark Knight,” the latest Batman movie? Was it because you like superhero movies? Was it because critics were raving about it? Are you a Christian Bale fan? Did you want to see how the late Heath Ledger amped up the Joker?
Or did you go see it for the homely, anti-American co-star who said America deserved the 9/11 attacks? Well, I doubt anyone who saw “The Dark Knight” went to see it for Maggie Gyllenhaal, except maybe her communist parents, ambiguously incestuous brother, and the unmarried father of her out-of-wedlock kid. Okay, so that’s four people. The tens of millions of others who went to see it didn’t go to see it for Gyllenhaal.
But that’s not what the mainstream media wants you to think. There’s this affirmative action PR trend afoot crediting this homely biotch for the success of “The Dark Knight.” First, the Wall Street Journal, on July 25th credited Gyllenhaal for the movie’s success:

Gyllenhaal charmed critics and helped “The Dark Knight” rake in a record-breaking $155 million its opening weekend.

Puh-leeze. She had nothing to do with opening weekend profits or those thereafter. She was a placeholder. That’s it. Added nothing to the movie.
Now, in today’s USA Today, at the top of the Life Section there’s this photo with news of “The Dark Knight’s” continuing domination at theaters and continuing record-setting. Again, why her photo? What did she have to do with it? No photo of Heath Ledger, Christian Bale, or Aaron Eckhart–all of whom made the movie what it is, not her.

So, why the interest in promoting this chick who said,

Because I think America has done reprehensible things and is responsible in some way

for the 9/11 attacks?
I think it has a lot to do with her left-wing views and her lack of box office success. She’s ugly both inside and out and her movies don’t do well. Finally, she grabs onto the coattails of a giant success, which made it despite her presence. And certain parties in Hollywood want to credit her. And help promote her and expand her acting career.
Yes, affirmative action doesn’t just happen on college campuses and in corporate boardrooms. It happens a lot in Hollywood, and often, it’s based on hate-America ideology, not race or gender. There’s a reason most conservatives in Hollywood don’t dare out themselves and their ideologies. They don’t get the Maggie Gyllenhaal treatment by USA Today and the Wall Street Journal.
I’m tired of this woman. If during World War II, an actress attacked America and said we deserved Pearl Harbor, her career would be over.
Now, it is being boosted.
So, readers, tell me: Did any of you who saw “The Dark Knight” see it for this reprehensible pinko actress? Let’s do an unscientific–but probably very representative–poll in the comments section.

By Debbie Schlussel
A couple of years ago, I wrote about Hooman Hamzehloui, the Iranian Muslim real estate agent who was banned by the NBA from all games because he repeatedly called Dikembe Mutombo with racist slurs, including calling him a “monkey.” He was an Orlando Magic season ticket holder.
Well, apparently, even racist Muslims get their 15 minutes of fame. Mr. Hemzehloui–who claims he did not know that “monkey” is a racist slur against Blacks–e-mails to tell me that, of all things, he is now a motivational speaker:

I wanted to give you an update about my life.

Hooman Hamzehloui, Andy Warhol

Getting banned from every NBA arena for calling Dikembe Mutombo a monkey led Hooman Hamzehloui to fall into the deepest depression imaginable. He then turned this embarrassing negative into the greatest positive by abandoning his lucrative real estate practice to pursuit his life long dream of becoming a motivational speaker. Hooman wanted to be remembered for a legacy of helping others break out of their normal daily lives and live the life of their dreams.
The book “Mutombo and Me” is about the events following the night which Hooman Hamzehloui became infamous around the world for being the racist who was banned from every NBA arena. Unknowingly using words of racist hate, Hooman became the recipient of hate mail, death threats, and nasty calls. Hooman had always been an advocate against racism so he felt personally responsible for bringing out the hatred of people all over the world. Hooman who was well known in Orlando for his successful real estate practice and his super motivated personality, fell into a deep and dark depression. After being depressed for almost a year, Hooman discovered from within the purpose of this depression was to motivate him to pursue his dream of becoming a motivational speaker. This book will empower his readers to change the negatives of their lives into positives by motivating them to pursuit their dreams and desires.
Hooman Hamzehloui is now living his life long dream of being a motivational speaker and is sharing his compelling story with corporations, college students, sales professionals, prison inmates, and troubled teens. He is donating 25% of his book sales to the Dikembe Mutombo Foundation in the Democratic Republic of Congo.
www.HOOMANCAN.com is empowering people to take total control of their future as they master their thoughts to achieve beyond their current abilities.

Hmmm . . . despite his bizarro lifestyle, Andy Warhol was more on the money than even he knew.

By Debbie Schlussel
. . . Sick of hearing about whining multi-millionaire Brett Favre? He retired from the Green Bay Packers all on his own. No-one put a gun to his head. Then, he changed his mind. Tough. Then, he trotted out some of his trashy, convicted criminal-endowed family to whine for him. Then, he got the Packers to meet with him and trade him to the New York Jets.
Now, we’re supposed to worry whether this 38-year-old Quarterback (how much is that in dog years?) will be good for the Jets? Who cares? Shut up, and stop whining.
Sorry, but I can’t feel bad or care a whit about a guy who willingly gave up a multi-million dollar job, then whined when they wouldn’t take him back–when the average American is worrying about paying for gas (yes, I know it’s down, but it’s still close to $4 bucks a gallon) and trying to survive. When I lived in Wisconsin, I couldn’t understand the hero worship of this unheroic manchild. So now, it is amusing to watch that he is now persona non-grata there.

Stop Whining
Suck it up, spoiled man who can’t pronounce your name the way it’s spelled.
**** UPDATE: Reader Sean writes:

Thanks for coming down hard on Brett Favre. When all this started, one of the first things I said was “of COURSE they don’t want him back. Why would management want to go on for ANOTHER year of Brett pulling his Hamlet routine of “to play or not to play” while they have to decide what draft picks to make. I’m a Pats fan (yeah I know you don’t like them, but that’s my team), and I think it would be funny to see Brett faced with a pretty competent defense that forces him to throw 3 or 4 picks in one game. Then watch. He’ll start whining about how he didn’t have a chance to study the playbook, or his line didn’t protect him, or something.

By Debbie Schlussel
It’s bad enough that America’s public schools and institutions provide bilingual education. But those are public, and the ACLU constantly trots out the First Amendment to cover non-English speech. I thought, at the very least, that private schools and institutions could choose to do what they wanted.
But apparently, I was wrong . . . at least if three Hispanic students suing the Catholic Diocese of Wichita have their way. The trial, over the Diocesan policy of requiring that students at its Catholic schools speak only English, is set to begin today.

“What happened at that school constitutes race discrimination under federal anti-discrimination laws — that is why it is important. That needs to be stopped,” said Christopher McHugh, the attorney representing three 12-year-old students named as plaintiffs in the civil litigation.

The lawsuit seeks an end to the policy and asks for an order barring similar policies at other Catholic schools in the Wichita diocese.
The plaintiffs are claiming the policy violates the Civil Rights Act and another federal statute by intentionally discriminating against the sixth-grade students and causing a hostile educational environment.
The diocese contended in court filings that the English-only rule is not discriminatory and did not cause a hostile environment. It contends the rule was implemented at St. Anne Catholic School as a legitimate response to inappropriate behavior by a few middle school students.
“This case is about a matter of discipline,” Jay Fowler, the attorney representing the Catholic Diocese said Monday. “Catholic schools embrace all cultures.”
The lawsuit also seeks the return of one student to the school who was allegedly kicked out for refusing to sign the “English only” pledge. And it asks for court and attorney costs and unspecified damages for discrimination and emotional suffering. . . .
“This is not a case that implicates constitutional or statutory rights, as no court has recognized a right to speak a foreign language at school,” the defendants said in court documents.
The lawsuit was filed by parents Mike and Clara Silva, Maria and Fermin Fernandez, and Guadalupe Cruz-Tello on behalf of their minor children. It names as defendants St. Anne Catholic School, principal Margaret Nugent, St. Anne Catholic Parish and the Catholic Diocese of Wichita.
Seven children — all but one under the age of 12 — will testify at the trial before U.S. District Judge J. Thomas Marten, McHugh said. All, except for one student who was subpoenaed, are voluntarily testifying.

It’s a slippery slope. Since I went to a couple of Jewish Hebrew Day Schools (and also public high school), I can only imagine Hispanics or other non-English speaking illegal aliens insisting that our prayers and Hebrew classes be in Spanish. The same claim being raised by the Plaintiffs in this case could be raised by someone who wishes to join my synagogue. I can only imagine them insisting that we not be allowed to pray in Hebrew or that the English translations in prayer books be changed to Arabic.
That’s the problem with dictating language or anything else to a private institution–whether it’s a Catholic school or a Jewish synagogue or a WASPY country club–what it can do on its own private property within the confines of its own private organization.
No-one is discriminating against Hispanic students at the Diocese’s Catholic schools. The requirement is only that they agree to speak English. If they do not like it, they are free to attend the Publick Skools.
This frivolous lawsuit must be rejected. That it even sees the light of day–instead of being dismissed under a summary judgment–is troubling. The judge, J. Thomas Marten, was nominated by Bill Clinton, so it will be interesting to see how he rules.
A private institution is private for a reason: to make its own rules without outside interference from interlopers.
This is a case where me casa is only su casa if you abide by the rules.

By Debbie Schlussel
. . . incompetent Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice a/k/a Condi Clueless was too busy pressuring Israel, and creating and shaping Great HAMASastan and Fatahstan and recognizing Kosovostan.
I’ve always said–repeatedly on this site and elsewhere–that the choice of Rice, a Sovietologist in an age when that was mostly not the hot spot and the Soviet Union was gone, was a stupid move and one that could only be attributed to affirmative action. Her area of expertise was not and still isn’t the Middle East, which is why huge new terrorist states in Gaza and Lebanon crystallized under her blind “watch.” Ditto for Kosovo, an Islamic terrorist state, which she and Bush recognized.

And it’s not just me saying it. It’s the Wall Street Journal and many Russian affairs experts:

[O]fficials said, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice seemed so preoccupied with Iraq, Iran and the Arab-Israeli conflict that she didn’t have time to fashion an effective response to Russia’s muscle-flexing on its borders.
They note that Ms. Rice, herself a Russia scholar, was largely wrapped up with Middle East affairs and that, as a result, policy involving the former Soviet states was largely delegated to more junior officials.
This occurred despite the importance Washington placed on democracy in the former Soviet states, and despite growing signs in recent months that an increasingly confident and oil-rich Moscow wasn’t going to allow pro-Western governments to flourish on its doorstep.
“The vast majority of the time, this administration is not focused on Georgia or Russia,” said Sarah Mendelson, a senior follow the Center for Strategic and International Studies, a Washington think tank.

Now, as she prepares to leave office, there is actually a conflict she might have foreseen. But she was so busy creating Greater Barbaria, she was basically useless and failed to notice or intercede.
Condoleezza Rice–if she is even slightly remembered–will go down in history as an ineffective and ignorant Secretary of State, who more than even just incompetence, helped her boss usher in Islamic terrorist states around the world that grew in power and threatened us and our allies.
Buh-Bye, Condi. T Minus 4 Months. Tick Tock.