By Debbie Schlussel
**** SCROLL DOWN FOR UPDATE ****
Don’t let this lead you to believe that she will do to Islam what she did to Christmas. She’ll follow the Chertoff/ICE Princess halal chicken circuit and Ramadan-reception-hosting. It’s just Christmas that is under attack by Janet Napolitano:

Napolitano pulls Christmas from AZ ‘Holiday Tree’
By Howard Fischer
Capitol Media Services
Tucson, Arizona | Published: 11.29.2007
PHOENIX – What do you call the big green thing decked with colored lights, balls and doves in the lobby of state Capitol tower?
Well, if you’re the governor, you don’t call it a Christmas tree. Instead, Janet Napolitano proclaimed it the “Holiday Tree.”

Artwork by Jedi Master of Photoshop, David Lunde of Lundesigns

The governor formally lit the decoration this week in a ceremony. She also used the opportunity to promote “Hope for the Holidays,” a special program to provide gifts to the children of parents who are incarcerated.

Gee, I can’t wait until she takes over at DHS and has a special program to provide gifts to the children of terrorists and illegal aliens who are incarcerated. Hint: If you want to get ahead as an agent at Homeland Security next year, stock up on the plastic grenades and G.I. Ahmed dolls.

So what “holiday” does Napolitano believe the tree symbolizes?
“I think we’re celebrating a number of holidays,” the governor responded Wednesday, while acknowledging that only one religion – Christianity – has a holiday associated with a tree.
“You can call it whatever you want,” she responded.
The “holiday tree” name met with amusement from Secretary of State Jan Brewer who, like Napolitano, has her office in the Capitol tower.
“It’s a Christmas tree,” she said while passing by the display. “Who are you trying to kid?” . . .
This isn’t the first time Napolitano has gotten crossways with Christmas.
In 2001, when she was attorney general, her office put out a memo listing “acceptable seasonal decorations” in common areas. They included snowflakes, icicles, garlands, poinsettia plants and wrapped presents – but not trees under which gifts could be placed, or Santa himself.

I’m sure “Happy Eid”, “Allahu Akbar”, or “Have an Easy Ramadan Faux-Fast” will be acceptable at her new DHS digs, though.
Other than that, though, get ready to say, “Bah, Humbug,” at the Department of Homeland Security, next year. The PC crowd has taken over.
**** UPDATE: Jimmy Lewis @ Rouge Revival sends this hilarious, must-watch video custom-made for Janet Napolitano and her ilk.

By Debbie Schlussel
This picture, below, warms the cockles of my heart. It’s the very definition of schadenfreude. If only our markets and economy weren’t involved and entangled in the downward spiral. And if only they didn’t own so much of our country. Maybe this is the time they sell some of it off and westerners with western values (like, oh, um . . . Americans) buy it at bargain basement prices. Sadly, Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal doesn’t seem to be doing that.

More:

The country’s stock market has fallen sharply along with those of the rest of the world. But the drop on the Saudi stock market — the biggest by value in the Gulf — has been particularly steep. On Sunday, the market’s main index fell 3.8%, shrugging off the central bank’s moves and extending a 9.2% drop Saturday. The index is down more than 61% year-to-date.
A Saudi trader at the Saudi Bank in Riyadh on Saturday, when the country’s main stock-market index dived 9.2%. The index fell an additional 3.8% Sunday despite the Saudi central bank’s easing of monetary policy.
Falling oil prices have helped sour investors’ sentiment. U.S. benchmark crude fell below $50 a barrel last week, from highs above $140 a barrel in July. The International Monetary Fund estimated that the average Gulf oil-producing country’s “break-even” price — the price such countries need to keep from running fiscal deficits — is $47 a barrel. (Many Gulf crudes trade at a discount to U.S. blends.)
Falling crude already has sent some government officials scrambling to review budgets and the economics of big infrastructure projects. Iraqi finance officials have cut their proposed budget for next year because of the big drop. Saudi officials have put on review a number of projects, including a big aluminum project. . . .
In an email last week, Aramco told companies bidding for $1.2 billion of projects related to an onshore oil field that the company had canceled the work, according to Zawya Dow Jones. Aramco didn’t respond to requests for comment.
Falling oil prices and the global financial crisis have dramatically changed the landscape for policy makers in Saudi Arabia and the rest of the Gulf. Just a few months ago, officials here were fretting about the prospect of runaway regional inflation.

So sad, too bad. Remember when they told us “$2 a gallon gas–we’ll never see that again; those days are gone forever”?
Silver lining to every Al-Cloud, Habibi.
BTW, look at this photo of a trader at Saudi Bank, which accompanied the story. What do you think is the deal with the person at left? I say it’s a woman, who had to be “modestified” for the cameras, lest her ugly Wahhabi mug turn on some photog. Uh-oh, her feet are exposed. Might give someone an orgasm.

By Debbie Schlussel
So, it’s about a half-hour into the new “24” prequel movie, and I have one word: yaaaaaaawn.
So boring, and the PC African theme doesn’t help. It feels like the most possibly boring college course in anthropology or archeology that you mistakenly took because you thought the professor was cute or that you were forced to take because of some stupid requirement in broken clay pot appreciation. Didn’t I already see this in “Blood Diamond” and “The Constant Gardener” (both of which were box office IEDs)? This “24” movie should have been called, “Son of ‘The English Patient'”. What a shocker that far-left pan-Islamist “Human Rights Watch” just ran an ad during the show . . . or is that a public service announcement that FOX gave them for free?
“24” was fun when it was about terrorist plots inside America with ties to Islam. Now, it’s just a yawner. With the writers strike, Jack Bauer should have retired along with his show. It’s simply jumped the shark.

“PC 24” by David Lunde/Lundesigns
Oh, and by the way, some gay activist in New York is upset that I wrote that Cherry Jones–the actress who plays “24”‘s new chick Prez–has the name and brains, but not the looks, of a porn star, and that she wants eight years of Obama. The name speaks for itself, and reading her comments, I’m sure you’ll agree.
And this same gay activist wants you to know that Ms. Jones is an openly lesbian spokesdude. Hmmm . . . Why didn’t the liberals who write “24” (yes, they are all liberals, despite producer/creator Joel Surnow being a conservative) make her a gay President? That would have, at least, added some comic relief to this horribly unexciting show.
Did you watch? Do you agree?
For me, it’s strictly:
Zzzzzzzz . . . .
It’s sad when the only thing exciting on the show is that computerized time-clock. “24: Redemption” is more like “24: Regurgitation”.

By Debbie Schlussel
**** SCROLL DOWN FOR UPDATE/Correction ****
It’s football Sunday in the latter third of the NFL season, and as I write this the Zero (wins) and Ten (losses) Detroit Lions are the losingest team in the NFL and on their way to becoming the most losing team in NFL history. Their likely only shot for a win is today against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
So, should the Detroit Lions lose their traditional Thanksgiving Day game? It’s been a tradition for many years, and one of the least exciting football games for almost all of those years, too.
The Lions’ performance over the last couple of decades–especially abysmal now–has led to talk of the Lions giving up that game in favor of more exciting, well-matched teams.
A few weeks ago, on FOX NFL Sunday, comedian Frank Caliendo joked,

Hey, Detroit Lions, the Pilgrims called, and they want their day back.

DebbieSchlussel.com Jedi Master of Photoshop David Lunde asks:

How do Detroit (Lions) football fans put up with such a lousy football team year after year? They do seem like the most loyal fans on the planet.

But that loyalty is starting to wane for the men in silver and Honolulu blue (or as I call it, “Hono-loser blue”).
And it’s not just the team’s very bad record, this season, on top of losers most years before.
Detroit-area interest in the Lions has been affected not just by the team’s historic losing status, but by the horrid depression-like economy we have here. In fact, in many ways, the history of the Lions is emblematic of the history of Detroit and the failing auto industry. It’s a fitting coincidence that the team is owned by the Ford Family, which has managed and run the team the same way they did Ford Motor Company: into the ground. Lions part-owner and VP William Clay Ford was recently a failed Chairman of the company and the family–major shareholders in Ford–still calls a lot of the shots.
Until now, the Lions have maintained a stranglehold on the Turkey Day game. When Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones initially tried to wrest it away, he didn’t manage to and only got an also-ran game out of it. [CORRECTION, 11/24/08: I’m wrong on this, see update, below.] But sports fans and commentators are calling for an end to the Lions Thanksgiving Day game.
We, here in Detroit, wouldn’t really care much. Detroit Lions fans–the few who are left–are forsaking the games in droves. They’ve been blacked out by the NFL policy of not televising games that aren’t sold out or mostly sold out. Our economy is very bad, and we don’t have the money to waste to prop up overpaid billionaire owners (the Fords) and their multi-millionaire mercenary employees (the Lions players who mostly don’t live here in the off-season and will play for whomever pays them more) in their tax-funded, Ford-owned half-a-billion castle (Ford Field), on which Michigan taxpayers got and continue to get no return, since we funded it and they own and play in it.
It’s kind of funny to see the Fords struggling to sell out Ford Field, even though its capacity is significantly reduced from the Pontiac Silverdome, a move that was done so that games would more easily sell out and be televised.
The NFL is going to have to start talking tough to players and paying lower salaries with the next draft. Fans don’t have the money to pay $20 for parking, $60 per person per ticket, and $12 per person for a hot dog and a Coke. I envision certain NFL teams having to resort to the common marketing tactics of minor league baseball teams and failing NHL hockey teams: packages of nosebleed section tickets coupled with a hot dog and a coke for $15 or less. With parking, that’s still expensive in this economy, especially for a losing team in a boring lopsided game.
On the other hand, we Michigan taxpayers gave the Fords a free stadium, and they make so much money in NFL TV and licensing rights, they really don’t care much about winning. For them, it’s a toy, a place to have a cool suite to entertain their friends in on Sundays in the fall.

So will the NFL finally dump the Lions T-Day game and forgo an unearned pro football bailout for Detroit? Well, the Fords still have their claws firmly in the NFL–with their “Built Ford Tough” sponsorship of FOX’s NFL Sunday pregame show–and thus, they still have a significant amount of juice to keep the game.
In fact, their reach is so strong that FOX used to do their pregame show live from here for the Thanksgiving Day game. My friend, the brilliant orchestrator Scott Ackerson, who produces the show, used to invite me to hang with him and the crew of Terry, Howie, etc. (but I always declined–I hate big traffic and big crowds, and with the Detroit Thanksgiving Day Parade, there’s a lot of it). But this year, Scott told me they’re not coming to town, and they didn’t last year, either. With the Lions having as much talent as a WNBA team, it’s simply not a game they want to helm live from the rustbelt capital. It’s just a ratings loser–for both them and for the NFL.
I hear the suits at NFL HQ on Park Avenue are, at least, considering pulling it, though, again, it’s not likely anytime soon because of the Ford Family pull.
So, should the Lions lose the Thanksgiving Day game? Do these turkeys still deserve a Turkey Day showcase? Or is Detroit so down in the dumps that yanking the Lions Thanksgiving Day gridiron contest of flak jackets, would be piling on?
What do you think?
**** UPDATE/Correction, 11/24/08: Reader Menachem’s football knowledge trumps mine, indeed, and I stand corrected:

Dear Debbie,
I have been reading you for many years (10+) First time I had to correct you. The Cowboys Thanksgiving tradition goes back 40 + years and was the Idea of the legendary Tex Schramm, GM of the Dallas Cowboys. The Lions afternoon game has something to do with a parade / celebration a yearly tradition in Motown . I guess he wanted to replace the Lions and the game was added.
Menachem

By Debbie Schlussel
On Thursday, a meteorite landed in Canada near Alberta. Here is cool video of it from different angles. The first video is police dashcam video of it lighting up the nightsky so much that it becomes like daylight. The second video is from a nighttime football game. The third video is Canadian TV news from less visible angles. Yes, this is real and not video magic, like the landing on the moon conspiracy. Just kidding–of course, I know that happened–that we, indeed, landed on the moon (several times), but I like to make fun of those who think it was false (and that they faked it nine times!).

By Debbie Schlussel
My biggest problems with Arizona Gov. Janet Napolitano, Barack Obama’s pick to head Homeland Security, are that she’s for amnesty for illegal aliens and she’s not a cop. You need an experienced law enforcement guy to run Homeland Security, not yet another lawyer, as she is. And while her borders were overrun by illegal aliens, she vetoed certain tougher laws on illegal aliens (while signing others that were tough on American businesses who help them) and didn’t do much to help ranchers and farmers on her southern border, some with 500 illegal aliens running through them on a daily basis.
Ray Kelly, though not ideal, would have been better than this legal retread. She is not an improvement over Michael “Serpenthead/Mr. Burns” Chertoff. Just more of the same, except for one thing: she’s apparently a semi-closeted lesbian. And, unless she comes out completely in the open, it’s sort of a national security issue. Don’t ask, don’t tell really isn’t an option when her suspected homosexuality can be used against her, since she continues to deny it. Janet, I think the Women’s Sports Foundation haircut and Dinah Shore Classic comfortable shoes kinda gave it away. (Gee, this really is a remake of Clinton-Camelot: Clinton had two ineffective lesbian lawyers, Janet Reno and Donna Shalala, and this is the first of likely several for Obama.)
“Not that there’s anything wrong with that.“

In any event, I asked Jedi Master of PhotoShop, David Lunde of Lundesigns, to make me this depiction, above, of our next top chick in law enforcement. And here are a couple of videos, both of which are hilarious, at least for the first half (warning: suggestive situations):


Ch-ch, ch-ch, ch-ch . . . .

By Debbie Schlussel
At the box office, this weekend, it’s a unique rarity: Three movies I liked and only one I did not.
* “Twilight“: Read my complete review. I mostly liked this slightly hokey, chick-flickish teen human-vampire love story. I liked it for the action adventure, the well-told story, the teen relationship without sex and with chivalry, the strong father characters, and the vampire aspects of it. Again, read my complete review.
THREE REAGANS

* “Bolt“: This is what Disney is supposed to be about–a great, 3-D animated flick meant for kids, but extremely entertaining and enjoyable for this adult. Light, funny, and a great escape for you and your kids . . . or even just you. Don’t be turned off by the fact that John Travolta and Miley Cyrus voice two of the main characters in this. You forget it’s them.

A dog who plays a superhero on TV doesn’t realize that he really doesn’t have any magical powers and that’s it’s just a TV show. That is, until he is accidentally shipped across the country and desperately tries to make it back home to his beloved young female co-star, a pre-teen girl who loves and misses him. Bolt is accompanied along the way by a smart-aleck cat and superfan hamster, and meets many entertaining pigeons and other animals in his fun cross-country journey.
I like Israel’s Hebrew “Bolt” poster the best:

THREE REAGANS


* “JCVD“: The initials stand for Jean-Claude Van Damme, who plays himself in this entertaining, funny movie in mostly French subtitles. JCVD returns to Belgium and is short on money, his career reduced to B-movies that are sold for millions overseas, but for which he’s paid a pittance. He’s in the midst of an American battle for custody of his daughter, during which lawyers cite the violence in his movies as a reason he shouldn’t get his kid. His lawyer is pestering him for money. Soon, JCVD finds himself in the midst of a bank hold-up, and the public, media, and police think the cash-starved, desperate JCVD is the one pulling off the robbery. It’s a great commentary on how society worships celebs, shown in the way fans cheer on JCVD, even though he might be a murderous bank robber. And it’s fun to see his interaction with other fans, such as a senior citizen Belgian female cabbie.
Aside from some slow moments and an unnecessary JCVD monologue in the middle, this movie is entertaining, but for the beginning, in which some Arab Muslim video store owners decry the “unfair” portrayal of Arabs and Muslims as terrorists in the movies. They obviously haven’t seen anything since 9/11, in which they are whitewashed ad absurdum. And the pre-9/11 stuff? Well, it was mostly accurate. This irrelevant propaganda was inserted by the film’s Arab Muslim writer/director, Mabrouk El Mechri, who should keep his baseless victimhood whines to himself.
TWO REAGANS

* “Synecdoche, New York“: This movie was such pretentious, senseless, depressing piece of garbage, I walked out after about an hour, and wished I’d done so sooner. Feh. Philip Seymour Hoffman plays a director of a community play in Schenectady, who soon finds himself in various silly, seemingly fictional scenarios of affairs with various women in his plays, and his wife leaves him and takes custody of his young daughter, taking a lesbian lover in Germany. At the same time, he’s also coming down with a serious illness that seems deadly. It’s like a bad imitation of a bad David Lynch movie. Non-sensical, disjointed, dysfunctional, depressing, and a mess. Skip this one at your local arthouse theater. In hell, they’ll make you watch this over and over.
THREE MARXES

By Debbie Schlussel
Aw, isn’t that cute? Unmarried Congresswoman Linda Sanchez is pregnant out of wedlock, and it was planned that way. The Democratic family values take a first–first unmarried pregnant Member of Congress. Or, to put it more bluntly, first Member of Congress BabyMama. Congrats, the Sistaz are doin’ it for themselves.
Sanchez claims she’ll be marrying the father, boyfriend Jim Sullivan. But, hey, not a single Bristol Palin/Levi Johnston-style story of outrage from the mainstream media and the left. Shocker.
Oh, and by the way, the LA Times thinks this is a sign of progress:

Flabulous BabyMama Congresswoman Linda Sanchez w/BabyDaddy

“I hope people will recognize that to be able to plan that in your life — I don’t think that marriage and childbirth are black and white. There are certain instances in which you have to do things in reverse order.”
Twenty years ago, it simply wouldn’t have been possible — pregnant, single and a member of Congress? Oh, the scandal! But Hester Prynne has morphed into Juno MacGuff, the culture wars have been fought to a truce of exhaustion, and “unwed mother” has been recast as “single mom.”

Why wear a scarlet letter, when you can proudly wear something far more embarrassing: the scarlet Member of Congress lapel pin.

By Debbie Schlussel
This is so typical of Muslims. They’re against discrimination and intolerance and terrorism . . . only when it’s against them.
This is Exhibit A of that. After months of their cheering of their Al-Qaeda-allied countrymen terrorizing and seizing ships, they’re upset only because the ship is from a Muslim country. Figures:

MOGADISHU – Dozens of Somali Islamist insurgents entered a port on Friday in search of the pirate group behind the seizure of a Saudi supertanker that was the world’s biggest hijack, a local elder said.

Sirius Star: Saudi Tanker Hijacked by Muslim Somalis

Separately, police in the capital Mogadishu said they ambushed and shot dead 17 Islamist militants, in the latest illustration of the chaos in the Horn of Africa country that has fueled a dramatic surge in piracy.
The Sirius Star — a Saudi vessel with a $100 million oil cargo and 25-man crew from the Philippines, Saudi Arabia, Croatia, Poland and Britain — is believed anchored offshore near Haradheere, about half-way up Somalia’s long coastline.
“Saudi Arabia is a Muslim country and hijacking its ship is a bigger crime than other ships,” Sheikh Abdirahim Isse Adow, an Islamist spokesman, told Reuters. “Haradheere is under our control and we shall do something about that ship,” he said.
Both the U.S. Navy and Dubai-based ship operator Vela International said they could not confirm media reports that the hijackers were demanding a $25 million ransom.
That would be the biggest demand to date by pirates who prey on boats in the Gulf of Aden and Indian Ocean off Somalia.
An upsurge of attacks this year has forced up shipping insurance costs, made some firms go round South Africa instead of via the Suez Canal, brought millions in ransom payments, and prompted an international naval response.
In Mogadishu, police said they laid in wait and shot dead 17 fighters from the militant al Shabaab insurgent group during an attempted attack on a senior official.
The Islamist rebels have been fighting the government and its Ethiopian military allies for about two years. They launch near-daily guerrilla strikes in the capital and control most of south Somalia, including a town just nine miles to the south of Mogadishu.
Islamist leaders deny allegations they collude with pirates and insist they will stamp down on them if they win power, citing a crackdown when they ruled the south briefly in 2006.
Some analysts, however, say Islamist militants are benefiting from the spoils of piracy and arms shipments facilitated by the sea gangs. Analysts also accuse government figures of collaboration with pirates.
The elder in Haradheere port told Reuters the Islamists arrived wanting to find out immediately about the Sirius Star, which was captured on Saturday about 450 nautical miles off Kenya in the pirates’ furthest strike to date.
“The Islamists arrived searching for the pirates and the whereabouts of the Saudi ship,” said the elder, who declined to be named. “I saw four cars full of Islamists driving in the town from corner to corner.”
“The Islamists say they will attack the pirates for hijacking a Muslim ship,” he said.
In Mogadishu, al Shabaab gunmen drove to the home of the local Madina district chairman early in the morning, but found police officers lying in wait, witnesses and authorities said.
“We got information before they left their hideouts and so we were able to surround them,” said police spokesman Abdullahi Hassan Barise. “Thirteen of the dead bodies lie in the street near the chairman’s house.”
Residents said the al Shabaab fighters wore black scarves round their heads with Arabic script reading “God is great.” . . .

Religion of “peace”, right?

By Debbie Schlussel
As I’ve noted before, the Mormon church only financed a proposition to end gay marriage in California. And the Black church members’ only “crime” was to vote for Prop 8. Unlike practically ever Muslim nation–all theocracies, none of the churches executes gays or persecutes them in any way even close.
Yet, the many mosques in California–whose members overwhelmingly supported and voted for Proposition 8–remain untouched by the violence of gay terrorists aimed at supporters of the successful Prop 8. This is even thought the mosques and Muslim organizations sent out many mass e-mails urging Muslims to vote for Proposition 8. As a friend in the know notes:

Dear Debbie,
We all have been reading about the violence, both verbal and physical against the Mormon Church and to a lesser extent, Catholic churches, because of their support of Proposition 8 here in California. I do not know what percentage of Catholics voted for Prop 8 – I suspect it was quite high. I am sure the percentage of Mormons was just as high if not higher. There is another group which has been left out of this equation and for good reason.
I am willing to bet that close to 100% of Muslims voted for Prop 8. Yet the protestors have let them and their mosques alone. I assume it is because Muslims would not give an inch or try to pacify them in any way. And yet, neither Catholics or Mormons would have homosexuals executed.
I am on many Muslim e-mail lists, and, of course, they supported Prop 8 and are joyful that it passed. They did not want to make a public issue of it because they have formed alliances with left wing groups who opposed Prop 8, and it would be pointing out an area of difference. They don’t want the left to know their areas of difference and instead emphasize their mutual interests.

But gays–and the rest of the left–know better. They know Muslims are the most intolerant to gays of any religion and the most deadly. Yet, they take out their violent anger on the more conveniently-vilified Christians. Yes, gays are politically correct and hypocritical in their anger, like feminists and the rest of the left. Christians–get ’em! Muslims–off limits to the Attack of the Fruity Pebbles.