By Debbie Schlussel
An 8,000-calorie burger, skank waitresses in sleazy, far-too-revealing “uniforms”–this restaurant is a libertarian fat guy’s dream. The end is funny. I like that this place deliberately bucks the food police. But after seeing this food, I’m glad I keep kosher. Even if I didn’t, eeuuww–you’d never catch me at “The Heart Attack Grill.”

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By Debbie Schlussel
While there’s nothing offensive about the two new offerings at movie theaters, this weekend, they’re just kind of mediocre. The better of the two–by far–is “Inkheart.”

* “Inkheart“: A book doctor (Brendan Fraser) has a special power. Books speak to him from their pages. And when he reads from them, characters–some evil–appear in our world from the book, while members of his family are taken away from our world and trapped in the setting of the book. He and his daughter set out with their eccentric, wealthy aunt to track down his wife and set our world and the world of fairy tale novels straight before the villains destroy ours.
This was okay. Not a great movie, but entertaining enough. I liked the messages of good versus evil, the commitment to doing what’s right, and the importance of keeping your family together. It’s aimed at kids, and it’s not bad for that purpose. Some younger kids might be a little frightened by the behavior of some of the villains.
ONE-AND-A-HALF REAGANS

* “Outlander“: This is a poor rip-off of the vastly superior “Beowulf” (read my review). And it’s one of those cases in which a movie is so bad, it’s good . . . for comedy value. Jim Caviezel plays a high-tech outer space alien sent to Norway in the age of the Vikings to save rival Nordic kingdoms from the evil alien monster, Moorwen. Parts of this movie were so ridiculous that I laughed endlessly. Those were scenes that were supposed to be scary.
Oh, and one other thing: I guess this movie was trying to be political. You see, the Moorwen were nice, but aliens from another took their land and their planet to develop into new neighborhoods, making the Moorwen angry, so angry that they terrorize the people of earth. Aha, a justification for terrorism against innocent civilians, even in a dumb alien/Viking movie. Maybe they shoulda called this, “The War on Moorwen Terror.”
Entertaining enough, if you’re bored and have nothing else to do and ten bucks to waste.
ONE REAGAN

By Debbie Schlussel
While a very scant few Obama supporters were classy and gracious about their candidate winning and getting Inaugurated into the Presidency, many others are enjoying the race-lording.
The latest is author Bernardine Evaristo. Like Obama, she’s of mixed race. And her new novel, “Blonde Roots” explores a new version of slavery: where White Europeans are the property of Black slavemasters, White women are regularly raped by Black sailors, and Whites have “inferior brain capacity”:

In the novel “Blonde Roots,” writer Bernardine Evaristo imagines what might have happened if the ships of the triangular trade had sailed in reverse — with white “Europanes” destined for the plantations of black masters in the islands off the coast of “Amarika” and exchanged for rum and other luxury goods headed to the “United Kingdom of Great Ambossa” in “Aphrika.”

While playing hide-and-seek with her three sisters, 10-year-old Doris Scagglethorpe — the blonde, skinny daughter of a cabbage farmer — is snatched from the coast of England, chained to an iron collar, sold for a shiny kettle and two caskets of grog, and shipped to a slave market.
The daughter of a Nigerian father and white British woman, the 49-year-old Ms. Evaristo started out as an actress in the 1980s, starring in plays that she co-wrote for a production company she helped found. . . .
[In her book,] [i]n the city of “Londolo” in the “UK” of Great Ambossa, Doris works as a house “wigger,” acting as a personal assistant to her master Chief Kaga Konata Katamba I, or Bwana.
She tries to escape by means of the Underground Railroad — a network of disused Tube trains — but ends up working on a sugar cane plantation. Bwana, for his part, expounds in an antiabolitionist tract about his earlier adventures as a slaver in the “Dark Heart of Europa” and the inferior brain capacity of the Caucasoi, whom he deems are “not of our kind.” . . .
In a chapter entitled “The Middle Passage,” Doris is bolted in a prone position in the belly of a ship: to her right is a woman who is dragged away at night to be raped by the black sailors; to Doris’s left, for three nights, is the corpse of a 17-year-old milkmaid who gave up on living after being gangraped by captors. “As I was reading that section to the public, I was like, “Oh my God, this is very unrelenting,'” Ms. Evaristo says. “I was quite pleased about that, too. In that section, there is no room for comedy.”

Don’t kid yourself about why this book is coming out now, the week of the Inauguration of the first (half-)Black President. Timing is everything in the publishing world. And if we can have a Black President, why not this fantasy of White slaves working for Black masters? It’s the logical extension of all the sickening race-lording and over-the-top hype we’ve seen continue to escalate over the last week.
And in fact, even though she’s a Brit, Ms. Evaristo is a huge Obamaniac, as she’s frequently noted on her blog–she shed tears at his Inauguration.
Smelly and ripe enough to become a selection for the Oprah Book Club.

By Debbie Schlussel
I warned you. I told you over and over. A few weeks ago, when Israel began its attacks on HAMAS–allegedly in response to the rocket attacks that have been ongoing for years–I told you, “Don’t believe the hype.”
Just re-read my column, “Don’t Get Too Excited About the Phony Baloney, Temporary Israeli ‘War’ vs. HAMAS,” from the start of the attacks. Everything I said was true and remains so.
As I warned you, Israel would eventually retreat and the status quo would remain. And I was right. They idiotically gave Gaza away to those bent on their distruction, and they’re not getting it back. Gilad Shalit, the kidnapped Israeli soldier, remains in capitivity. HAMAS–as I predicted–is still around and very strong, all the stronger because, a la Hezbollah, the mighty Israel didn’t defeat it. And HAMAS baby-makers a/k/a most Palestinian women would be fast at the production line to put more replacement buns in the ovens. (It’s always “time to make the donuts” in the Palestinian warrior assembly line.)

Ehud Barak, Tzipi Livni, Ehud Olmert: Sent Israeli Soldiers to War
and Lost to Keep One of These Three Stooges in Power
HAMAS rockets were sent upon Israel even after the faux truce started, and more rockets will come.
And–shocker!–the Palestinian tunnel smugglers in Rafah are back in bid’ness:

The tunnels linking Gaza and Egypt are back in business, despite the hundreds of tons of bombs and missiles that Israeli troops rained down on them. . . .
The smuggling is surprisingly overt on the Gaza side. Hundreds of workers were operating Thursday in a mile-long stretch of battered tents and fake greenhouses, each with a tunnel operating or being dug inside. Dozens of other tunnel entrances were open and unhidden. Amid the frantic activity, a fire broke out in a smuggled fuel shipment, although there was no immediate report of injuries.
There’s even a makeshift snack shop servicing them, named “The Underground Crossings.” Its owner, Mahmoud Baroud, reopened soon after the cease-fire began and expected at least 200 customers for lunch Thursday.
“We even do deliveries if they’re too busy,” he said, stirring fried onions.

See, I told you so. I hoped I was wrong. But Israel has a predictable track record of of empty gestures and empty, costly half-hearted attacks on terrorists in the last 2-3 decades. They pulled out of Hezbollah’s South Lebanon in 2000, they did it again in 2006. Each time, their enemy got stronger, and Israel got weaker. Each time rockets continued to be sent from their northern neighbors to attaack innocent Israeli civilians. And each time, they’ve not gotten the remains or specific, reliable information on the whearabouts of soldier Ron Arad.
With HAMAS, it’s a similar image. Again, still no Gilad Shalit. More rockets. More tunnel smuggling of terrorist weapons and material from Egypt, but ultimately from Iran. And a strengthened enemy. HAMAS’ Khaled Meshaal is declaring victory over Israel, and he is correct on this count. Israel lost. HAMAS won.
I’m just waiting for the latest terrorist prisoner release for non-existent “goodwill.”
Meanwhile, per usual, HAMAS and Israel’s preferred Islamic terrorist group, Fatah–for whom this phony war was also perpetrated–are back at their old game of trying to reconcile. Same old, same old.
Israel is as predictable as a clock. And it’s not just me who knows it. HAMAS and Hezbollah and the entire Islamic world know it, too.
And their just biding their time until time on that ever-weakening clock simply runs out.
What’s that I hear? Oh, it’s the sound of Ehud Barak and Tzipi Livni looking at the latest polls to see which of them was more boosted by this costly campaign commercial, for which they paid in Israeli lives, tanks, and ever-weakened reputation.
Just as I predicted. Israel never had any intention of eliminating HAMAS. The proof is in the halal pudding, ever more pungent in Gaza.
To those who told me at the beginning of this failed action against Gaza, that Israel would this time, finally, once-and-for-all, wipe out or nearly destroy HAMAS, I say now what I said in a nicer way then: Dream on , suckers.
Israel and Adam Ant have something in common: Desperate But Not Serious.

By Debbie Schlussel
I wish that when Prince AlWaleed lost his $7.9 billion, American taxpayers didn’t bail him out by rescuing Citigroup. If the government hadn’t bailed out Citi, AlWaleed would really have gone to the cleaners. After all, he’s still worth many billions of dollars. And what’s the loss of a few billions to a multi-billionaire? He’s still worth between $10 and $20 billion.
Still, at least he got soaked a little. He is, after all, a major donor to homicide bomber telethons and a big hater of Jews, Israel, and America (he hates us, but he buys us).

Prince Alwaleed bin Talal, seen just a few months ago as a bastion of Mideast support for banking giant Citigroup Inc., said Tuesday his Saudi Arabian conglomerate, Kingdom Holding Co., lost 29.7 billion Saudi riyals, or about $7.92 billion, in 2008.

Saudi Prince: Tried to Bribe Giuliani Against Israel, Owns FOX NEWS

The loss — about half of which Kingdom Holding blamed on impairments to its investment portfolio — coincided with the release of a survey in Dubai showing business confidence across the oil-rich Persian Gulf plummeted last quarter.
Just a few months ago, the region seemed relatively isolated from fallout from the global financial crisis convulsing much of the rest of the world. But amid tumbling oil prices, economists are revising downward oil-revenue forecasts and economic-growth estimates here.
Analysts still expect previous years of budget surpluses in places like Saudi Arabia and other oil exporters to cushion the blow of falling oil proceeds. But many governments have also socked away cash in government-controlled investment funds. Those funds, like Mr. Alwaleed’s privately owned investment company Kingdom Holding, have in recent years bet heavily on Western companies, including financial firms that have been beaten up particularly badly in recent months.
The Gulf’s biggest investment vehicles, including regional central banks who typically invest a government’s cash reserves in more liquid assets such as U.S. Treasurys, lost some $350 billion last year, according to an estimate published last week in a working paper by the Council on Foreign Relations, a New York-based think tank. That equates to about 27% of the funds’ value at the end of 2007. It’s impossible to say for sure how the funds have really performed as most of them don’t disclose much data.
Kingdom Holding, a conglomerate with interests in banking, hotels and private equity, said Tuesday in an English-language release to journalists that it had reported an annual operating loss last year of 14.7 billion riyals, or $3.92 billion. It also said it provided for “impairment losses” of an additional 15 billion Saudi riyals, or about $4 billion, citing “investment portfolio provisions.”
Mr. Alwaleed founded Kingdom Holding in 1980. Its international portfolio includes Fortune 500 companies Citigroup, Apple Inc., News Corp. (owner of Dow Jones, publisher of The Wall Street Journal) [DS: AND FOX NEWS], Time Warner Inc., and eBay Inc., according to the company’s Web site. . . .
Mr. Alwaleed’s company is also one of the biggest investors in firms listed on the Saudi stock exchange, which lost 47% of its value last year. The Saudi bourse reported in October that Mr. Alwaleed owned 94% of Kingdom’s 6.3 billion shares. Kingdom stock, traded on the exchange in Riyadh, fell 62% last year.

So sad, too bad. If only it were worse.
Modern Art That Warms My Heart . . .

By Debbie Schlussel
Remember the “good old days” in Academy Awards history . . . when the Oscar went to “It’s Hard Out There for a Pimp” as best original song?
Now, it’s far worse. Oscar is crawling lower, burrowing so low he may soon find himself in China . . . or another galaxy. And so predictable. I refer to Kate Winslet’s nomination for Best Actress for her role in “The Reader” (read my brief review) one of the year’s most awful movies. In it, Winslet plays a Nazi SS Guard who sends Jews to their deaths in the ovens. But the guard is portrayed sympathetically because she has hot sex scenes with the 15-year-old she seduced. The Holocaust survivors are the mean, evil bitches in this one. Perfect Oscar material. I’ll bet she wins.

Then, there’s Best Actor nominee, Richard Jenkins, who plays a cold, mean American college professor in “The Visitor” (read my brief review) whose life is made full again when he hangs with the Muslim Arab illegal aliens who are squatting in his apartment, and sleeps with the Syrian mother of one of them. But then, the evil, mean immigration people at ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) ruin everything by arresting the male Arab Muslim (in sanctuary city New York City, where this would never happen–but who cares about accuracy). The message: As Americans, we are cold, hard, mean people, but Muslim illegal aliens will make us better and make our lives worth living again. Uh-huh.
Yup, sexy, hot Nazis who must be inconvenienced by Jewish Holocaust survivor bitches who had the gall to send ’em to prison, and Americans who harbor Muslim illegal aliens and love them–I think I’ve predicted the Oscar winners in two of the top three categories, come February.
For Best Picture, it may be a tough contest between the anti-Nixon movie, “Frost/Nixon,” and the pro-gay rights flick, “Milk” (read my review).

By Debbie Schlussel
I have mixed feelings about reports that the Intercontinental Hotel in Paris disinvited Israelis and canceled an Israeli Tourism Fair.
On the one hand, it’s disgusting. But, on the other hand, the Intercontinental Hotel has a long history of anti-Semitism, and the Israeli Tourism Ministry should know better than to give even a single shekel to this hotel chain. As I’ve previously noted on this site more than once, the Intercontental Hotel in Jerusalem is built on top of Jewish graves in a Jewish cemetery. The hotel not only chose to do that, but it also threw Jewish graves and skeletons in the garbage after digging them up (as if they were rocks or trees) to build a road to the hotel. (This happened under Jordanian rule, as is exactly what happens when Muslims control Jewish land–they don’t live in peace . . . even with the Jewish dead.)

Jerusalem Intercontinental Hotel: Deliberately Built On Top of Jewish Graves
Because of this–and the fact that the Intercontinental Hotel welcomed P.L.O. terrorists to use the Jerusalem hotel as a meeting place to plan murderous attacks–I will not stay at an Intercontinental Hotel. Once, at a speaking engagement in Austin, Texas, I was mortified when my host drove me to the hotel, and it was the Intercontinental. I had no choice in the matter as the room had already been paid for. But after that, I always insisted at any future events that I not be put up at an Intercontinental Hotel.
So, it is in that vein that I wonder why Israelis would be shocked that a hotel chain that built a hotel on top of Jewish graves would cancel them, and why they would 1) even enter an Intercontinental Hotel, and 2) be shocked when they are treated–as live Jews–with the same disrespect with which the hotel treats dead Jews.

The Grand Hotel Intercontinental in Paris has cancelled the central part of an Israeli Tourism Fair, the tourism ministry in Jerusalem said Wednesday, a day before it was scheduled to take place. “The main part of the event was supposed to take place at their hotel and they cancelled,” said Shira Kaveh, a spokeswoman for the ministry.
“The fair will still go on, but not at the hotel. The public part just won’t happen, but the private meetings of businessmen will still take place,” Kaveh added.
The ministry of tourism said there was concern that protests would take place outside the hotel against Israel’s ongoing military offensive in the Gaza Strip and cause damage and lead to the cancellation.

I’m surprised that even the Jerusalem Post doesn’t know the history of this hotel chain:

Under warnings of potential attack and operating from an undisclosed location in Paris, the Tourism Ministry’s French desk was hard at work Thursday showcasing Israel as a potential destination, despite the ongoing operation in the Gaza Strip that is currently scaring off French tourists.
The Israeli Tourism Fair was planned long in advance of Operation Cast Lead and was originally booked at the Paris Grand Hotel, a member of the Intercontinental chain. However, after the hotel said it had received threats by a number of Palestinian groups, it backed out of the engagement. On short notice, a second Paris hotel agreed to host the event, but only on condition that its name remain secret to all but those who had confirmed their attendance.

To my readers, I urge you for these reasons and for the actions of this Paris Intercontinental hotel, do not stay at this hotel anywhere in the world . . . even on American soil. The Intercontinental Hotel chain has a history of Jew-hatred and Jew-desecration. And it apparently continues.
It’s always a good idea to find out who owns the hotel at which you are staying and be informed of its history. (Don’t stay at Four Seasons, either.)

By Debbie Schlussel
It’s official: Next season, “24”–the politically correct show that always makes Islamic terrorists the instrument of the corporate White man or the Russians or Jack Bauer’s father and brother–will be its last.
But for me, “24” is already dead man walking. I just don’t watch anymore. I watched last year’s “24” 2-hour movie, which was stupid and boring. Then, I tried to watch “24”‘s four-hour season premiere a couple of weeks ago. I just couldn’t get into it.
Once the show started becoming politically correct, it lost its luster. Whenever art gives in to the demands of the Council on American-Islamic Relations (an unindicted terrorist co-conspirator) and the Muslim Public Affairs Council (headed by the hubby of a “HAMAS “charity” operator, who had to shut down ), it ceases being entertaining. And that’s the case with “24.”

“PC 24” by David Lunde/Lundesigns
So when I read today that Jack Bauer’s show will say bye-bye, I thought, gee, hasn’t it already? I’ve long ago said bye-bye to it, and am watching DVDs of old movies during the “24” time slot. To me, Jack Bauer is just the alter ego of liberal Canadian Kiefer Sutherland (who is not a U.S. citizen, but is oddly the voice for “Bank of America”).
The other “24” news: Once it goes off the air, they’ll start making the long talked about “24” movies. But I predict they won’t be a hit. “24” long ago jumped the shark. And the only way to bring it back is to make the terrorists Muslims who work for Muslims (not the evil corporate White man stereotype). And the “24” producers and writers–for all of Exec Producer Joel Surnow’s claim of being an alienated-Jew-turned-Catholic uber-right-winger–are simply liberals.
See ya, Jack. And don’t forget to close the faux-counterterrorism door on the way out.
Political Correctness, not curiosity, Killed the Cat.

By Debbie Schlussel

The attacks on Jews–especially Orthodox Chassidic Jews–don’t just take place in Mumbai, India, or during a late-night anonymous act of vandalism on a synagogue in North Carolina.

The attacks on Jews have spread to ABC daytime talk shows, watched by millions of mindless, easily propagandized women.

On today’s edition of the anti-male hag-fest, “The View,” Barbara Walters and her fellow co-hostesses engaged in a vile, anti-Semitic discussion with actress/comedienne Susie Essman. The stuff they said about Chassidic Jews–calling the women ugly, saying they have bad taste in clothing, have “weird,” “bizarre” customs–would never be tolerated if they substituted the word “Muslim” or “Black” for “Chassidic Jew.” I am not a Chassidic Jew–but since most Chassidic Jews do not own TVs and don’t waste their time watching this mindless garbage, I am the only one who noticed apparently.
Here is the video (“shul” is yiddish for synagogue):

Actress Susie Essman, “View” Hags

Engage in Blatant Anti-Semitic Discussion on ABC
The discussion took place in a segment featuring unfunny comedienne and actress Susie Essman, who appears in HBO’s “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” She was on the show to promote her appearance in an upcoming CBS movie, “Loving Leah,” about a Lubavitch Chassidic Jewish woman who marries her late husband’s brother, a handsome cardiologist. (It stars Ricki Lake, so you know it’s gonna be awful.)
Essman–who is nominally Jewish, like Sarah Silverman–began the discussion by saying that being in the movie she learned that Chassidic Jewish women have terrible taste in clothing, that they’re “weird” and practice “bizarre” old religious customs, and that they cover up and they’re ugly. “Have you seen what these women look like?”
Resident Alzheimer’s patient, Barbra Walters said, “The way they dress, that’s related to Islam, right?” Hilarious. Um, the Jewish religion was around for centuries before Islam ripped off its rules from Judaism and Christianity. I suppose we got the Bible from the Koran, too. What a dummy. Remember this, the next time she does another one of her cockamamie religion specials (in which she sympathizes with HAMAS homicide bombers).
Sherri Shepherd, Whoopi Goldberg, and airhead Elisabeth Hasselbeck laughed at her comments and agreed with them, saying nothing like, “Hey, stop your bigotry.” Walters didn’t object either.
To her credit, the only one who kinda sorta defended Chassidic Jewish women was Joy Behar, though she calls them “wacky.” “Well, they’re just like every other group of women–some aren’t pretty and some are.” To this, Susie Essman responded with a face and a noise indicating she thought they were all ugly. Look at the picture of Susie Essman, above. I’m sure you’ll agree that she’s not exactly in a position to call anyone else “ugly” or accuse them of poor taste in fashion.
While it’s ridiculous to judge these righteous women by their looks and fashions the way this “meiskite” (yiddish for “ugly”) does, I know several Lubavitch Chassidic women who are stunningly beautiful, such as my lifelong friend, Marcy. She looks and dresses like a classy supermodel. Most people who are Lubavitch Chassidic Jews dedicate their lives to service–they help the poor and provide free Thanksgiving dinners for the (non-Jewish) homeless in Los Angeles. (What has this self-hating Jewish Essman creep-ette ever done for anyone?) They’re not rich, and don’t focus on worldly things like fashion.
But can you imagine if some actress said on national network TV that all Muslim women were ugly and had terrible taste in clothing? CAIR would be all over it, and “The View” hags would be doing a full hour show apologizing. In this case, they were laughing and went along with this outrageous discussion.
And don’t kid yourself. This was about Judaism and Jewish women who observe the religion. Although I’m not as religious as Chassidic Jewish women, I was extremely offended for them and for myself.
This is one of those times I wish I had the equipment to download video from my TV. ABC just began posting whole episodes of “The View,” but strangely only certain segments (not the anti-Semitic one) of Wednesday’s “The View” at ABC’s site.
E-mail “The View” to let them know what you think of their vile anti-Semitism. And contact Brian Frons, President, Daytime, Disney-ABC Television Group at 77 West 66th Street, New York, NY 10023. Phone: 212-456-7777. Let him know that anti-Semitism is unacceptable on his airwaves.
Incidentally, the movie is a “Hallmark Hall of Fame” movie. Might not hurt to also contact Hallmark Cards to complain.
**** UPDATE 1/22/09: Reader Rick writes:

I just went back to that picture of the tortured and slain wife of the [Luibavitch] rabbi in last year’s attack in Bombay (that’s what they called it last time I was there, I’m not changing).That lady had more beauty and taste in fashion than any of the overpaid overstuffed hagfest broads. It says a lot about the monsters that could murder someone like that, and about the hags that diss people like her.

By Debbie Schlussel
Tonight, I was at a Detroit-area cineplex for a movie screening. On my way out, I cut across the building and saw that one theater was rented out to a couple of Muslim men who were holding a “we buy your gold and diamonds” event. Their wives were sitting outside in their hijabs (headscarfs).
Something to think about: If you sell your gold for cash (for which you’ll receive far less than the actual value), where is the gold and the profit going? It’s an all cash and all gold business, with no explicit records of how much commerce was conducted and what was changing hands. It’s the perfect way to launder money to terrorists without any accountability and little risk of getting caught.
Beware of selling your jewelry for cash at this type of event. You could be financing Islamic terrorism, or aiding Muslims utilizing yet another way to cheat on their taxes, or both. Be very wary.

***
This reminds me of when I went to frightening Islamic Relief-Worldwide fundraisers in Dearbornistan. They asked and cajoled the women to hand their jewelry up to the front “to help pay for 50 Palestinian kids in Gaza to eat for a month.” Women sent up gold bracelets, necklaces, earrings. We know where the money went, i.e., not for sandwiches (unless you’re talking a homicide belt sandwich).