By Debbie Schlussel
As I’ve said on this site time and again, whenever a celebrity takes a conservative political position or endorses a Republican candidate, I don’t care. I don’t really need a proud high school graduate living in fantasyland on the left coast to confirm that my well reasoned position is the correct one. To me, their seal of approval is worth as much as filet mignon on a vegan commune.
I said this when Angelina Jolie gave half-hearted BS support for remaining in Iraq (not because she cared about American interests or our troops over there, but because she cares about Muslim Iraqi Shi’ites). And I thought the same, last year, when I mocked Brody Jenner–star of vapid MTV reality show “The Hills”–for his airheaded Obama endorsement, and a reader commented that we should be happy that Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag (now his wife) of “The Hills” endorsed John McCain.
Unfortunately, Pratt and Montag Pratt are now America’s most famous “right wingers.” And now, they are the most famous 9/11 Truthers. They endorsed John McCain and the Second Amendment, having photogs film them buying guns and practicing at a shooting range. Good for them. But these idiots are not my guide or the affirmation of my views. And anyone who praised them–as many conservative blogs have over the last year–will have to wonder why they gushed over these two who now support a theory that America, not Bin Laden, was behind the 9/11 attacks. Oh, and they did it while appearing on the insane, anti-Semitic, anti-Israel Alex Jones’ show. Even the liberal US Magazine commented, “OH NO, THEY DIDN’T!” Sadly, Oh, Yes, They Did. From the magazine’s July 20th issue:

Oh, and check out how these two MTV-manufactured minds of mush defiled the flag. They can wrap themselves in red, white, and blue all they want. But in mindlessly accusing America of murdering 3,000 Americans in cold blood–a mass murder committed by Islamic terrorists–they are not patriots. Anything but.

Can’t wait to see these two at the next Sarah Palin event. They love the woman. And I wouldn’t be surprised if she loves them back.
This is what happens when we pick celebrity and appearance over substance . . . even on the right.
It’s a sign of desperation, not strength.

By Debbie Schlussel
Ah, the “Religion of Peace.” Giving us yet another example of the gazillion examples its “peacefulness” at ground zero of the “peace.” Today’s lesson: don’t offend the Islamic fashion police, or you could end up as more than a fashion victim.

Sudanese police arrested 13 women in a raid on a cafe and flogged 10 of them in public for wearing trousers in violation of the country’s strict Islamic law, one of those arrested said Monday.
The 13 women were at a cafe in the capital, Khartoum, when they were detained Friday by officers from the public order police, which enforces the implementation of Sharia law in public places.

The force, which is similar to the Saudi religious police, randomly enforces an alcohol ban and often scolds young men and women mingling in public.
One of those arrested Friday, journalist Lubna Hussein, said she is challenging the charges, which can be punishable by up to 40 lashes. . . .
Women in northern Sudan, particularly in Khartoum, dress in traditional outfits that include a shawl over their head and shoulder. Western dress is uncommon.
Still, the raid on a Khartoum cafe popular with journalists and foreigners was unusual. . . .
“This is retribution to thousands of girls who are facing flogging for the last 20 years because of wearing trousers,” [Hussein] said.

Yup, this is Islam. They ask us to be tolerant of them, no matter what. Yet, they are intolerant–violently so–of everything.

By Debbie Schlussel
Remember those official Obama campaign posters that said “HOPE” on them and bore a red, periwinkle, cream, and navy Warhol-esque, pop art likeness of the then-Presidential candidate? How could you miss them? You couldn’t get away from the annoying, screaming posters bearing a nice euphemism for “FANTASY.” And many people around the net still use icons of themselves morphed into the famous posters.
The thing is the artist–Shepard Fairey (and no, I’m not making his name up)–who created the posters is something of a professional vandal. And Friday, this guy who helped Shepherd in the biggest Fairey-tale in America was sentenced for just one of his many crimes.

Shepard Fairey, above, whose “Hope” poster for Barack Obama became an emblem of the 2008 presidential election, was sentenced to two years’ probation on Friday in Boston Municipal Court for charges stemming from images he posted on public and private property over the years. . . . Mr. Fairey pleaded guilty to three charges of vandalism, including defacing property and wanton destruction of property under $250; 11 other charges were dropped. He was also fined $2,000 to pay for graffiti removal. Mr. Fairey was arrested in Boston in February as he arrived at the Institute of Contemporary Art for the opening-night party for a retrospective of his work. “Freedom of expression is the bedrock of our democracy,” Mr. Fairey said in a statement on Friday.

Yes, but freedom of HIS expression on OTHERS’ private property is not.
More:

Shepard Fairey, the street artist who for decades has plastered his stickers and posters on buildings and street signs, issued an apology today and agreed to ban himself in Boston.
Fairey consented to a plea deal that will prohibit him from carrying stickers, posters, wheat paste, brushes, and other tools of the graffiti trade while in Suffolk County for the next two years.

It’s pretty embarrassing–and funny–when you aren’t allowed to carry glue or paint around town. Some people can’t live within 500 feet of a school. He can’t carry paint brushes. They molested kids. He molests property.

Under the arrangement, Fairey pleaded guilty to three vandalism charges and must pay a $2,000 fine to one of his adversaries, Graffiti NABBers for the Neighborhood Association of the Back Bay.
In a statement, Fairey apologized to the citizens of Boston for “posting my art in unauthorized spaces without the consent of the owner.”
“I believe in the importance of making art accessible through many avenues, and I will continue to advocate the use of legal public spaces for meaningful artistic expression and communication.” . . .
He had originally been charged with two counts of tagging, but prosecutors amended the complaint to wanton destruction of property. A guilty plea to tagging would have forced Fairey to lose his driver’s license for a year in California.
The third charge of defacing a building dated to 2000.

Hmmm . . . sounds like he’s already planning to deface taxpayer-funded parks and highway overpasses.
Probation is not unusual for a single case of vandalism, but this guy is habitual and a multiple repeat offender. I wonder if the judge voted for Obama. Wouldn’t bet against it. Ditto for the prosecutors that offered him this easy deal even though he’s a repeat offender.
In any event, we now have a 4-8 year Fairey-tale brought to us courtesy of this vandal “artist” who helped Shepard it. How appropriate that this Shepard of Fairey-tales is a glorified repeat common criminal.
Kinda like the man he helped elect.
One guy vandalizes private property in parts of America. The guy in his posters just seizes private property all over America.
The Audacity of Dope. Two of ’em.

By Debbie Schlussel
. . . or is there something terribly ridiculous about tax money going to a special Secretary of State seal sling for Hillary Clinton? Isn’t it ridiculous that we have a head of foreign affairs who thinks a sling accessory telling us, “Don’t You Know Who I Am?” is one of the most important foreign policy matters before her?
It’s sooooo pretentious. And it reminds me of deposed ex-Detroit Mayor Kwame “The Kingpin” Kilpatrick, who used to walk around wearing a baseball hat that said “CEO” . . . as if we didn’t know he was the Mayor, and as if he was running the city like a well-oiled corporation rather than his own personal drug ring.
I mean does she really need a sling telling us she’s the Secretary of State? Did she think someone would mistake her for the Secretary of Supermodels? Perhaps, we might think she was the Secretary of Failed Heir Apparent Presidential Candidates.
The Dragon Lady of Gauche Fashion Accessories . . .

QUESTION: That’s a very stylish sling.
SECRETARY CLINTON: Thank you for noticing, Matt. That’s right. See, I’ve got my Secretary of State – (laughter). Oh, goodness.

Stay tuned, next week, for the official Secretary of State seal bra and granny panties.
I don’t ever remember a male Secretary of State having fashion questions at his press conferences. Do you?

By Debbie Schlussel
Recently, I told you about how the U.S. Air Force, in response to Obamanik pettiness, painted over the name “Lt George W. Bush” on the plane former President Bush flew while serving in the military. The brass at Ellington Field–playing politics–did this to please the Obama administration, in an attempt to keep the base open.
Then, after I exposed this, the PR brass at Ellington Field–including Lt. Col. Shaunte Cooper–blatantly lied about it to a liberal Houston free pimp-and-ho-ad-laden rag, which “inquired” after I wrote about it, claiming the name had never been painted over. (Not that actually going to the base and checking was in the playbook of lazy Richard Connelly, a Houston-based crazy at the far-left free rag, who was more interested in engaging in conniptions and unhinged ravings against me than actually engaging in real reporting and confirming my report.)

“LT G W BUSH” Quietly Restored Bush USAF Plane

After Schlussel Expose

Ms. Cooper claimed that the plane I showed on this site–the plane from which Bush’s name had been removed–was not the plane and that I had it wrong and that the name had never been removed and was already repainted. Lt. Col. Cooper = Lt. Col. CYA.
But, in fact, witnesses and photographs confirmed that it had been painted over and not restored. And since then, the “wrong plane” is now the one to which Bush’s name has been recently quietly restored because of this site’s reporting on it and your e-mails and complaints, witnesses report.
Here is one eyewitness account:

Debbie:
I just checked the F102 at Ellington Field. “Lt George W. Bush” is now–finally!–back on the jet.
The influence you have!

And the liars they are at Ellington Field. I wouldn’t want to be in a foxhole next to Lt. Col. Cooper. But somehow I doubt this dishonest chick, Cooper, has ever been in a foxhole . . . unless they have those inside a propaganda desk of a lying pencil-pusher.

By Debbie Schlussel
We all know the Republican Party–especially those in the U.S. Congress–are woefully entrenched in a bottomless downward spiral.
Today’s hearings on President Barack Hussein Obama’s Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor a/k/a So-So are a demonstration of how far the “loyal opposition” has fallen.
Today’s Wall Street Journal reports that Republicans hope that at least 23 Senators vote “no” on Justice J-Lo. But there are 40 Republicans in the Senate. It’s pretty pathetic when you only hope that half of your flock will go your way. That means the Grand Ghould Party will struggle just to get half of its members to say no to this uber-liberal, something that should be a no-brainer for all of them, even the liberals like Olympia Snowe and Susan “Constipation Voice” Collins of Maine.

“Wise Latina” Who Lorded it Over White Males

Opponents of Judge Sonia Sotomayor’s nomination to the Supreme Court suggested they would consider it a victory if more than half of the Senate’s 40 Republicans voted against her in this week’s confirmation hearing, as the GOP grapples with how aggressively to challenge the nominee.
Many Republicans said they viewed 23 “no” votes as a benchmark, because that would be one more than Chief Justice John Roberts received in 2005 and would reflect a significant protest vote.

The article claims the GOP hopes for a Democrat or two to say no on So-So. But I’m not holding my breath. The Republicans are so wounded, in such a political coma, that they will likely not get a single Democrat to vote no on So-So and are hoping for only half of their own to say “nay” on Sonia from the Block. Pathetic. This isn’t a loyal opposition or a check on the majority. This is–as I like to say–the equivalent of an insect urinating on the Senate floor. Unless you have a microscope and are looking in precisely the right place, no-one will notice. It’s the sound of one-hand clapping.
Contrast this with the 1987 Ronald Reagan nomination of Judge Robert Bork to the U.S. Supreme Court. Although Bork–a brilliant legal mind skyscrapers above that of So-So in every single way–had his nomination go down in flames, Democrats had party discipline. They voted uniformly against Bork and carried some Republicans with them.
Yes, the Democrats in contemporary decades have been strong in their uniformity against conservatives with great qualifications for the highest bench and in favor of liberals with lackluster ones. Republicans? Well, if your life depended on it, I wouldn’t rely on them to save you from a burning building.
They would have to first take a poll and find out how it would look in the eyes of illegal aliens and traditional Democrat voting blocs who won’t vote for them no matter what.
This is why I am not a Republican (and in the late ’80s I won the “Outstanding Teen Age Republican in the Nation” award). I am a conservative. But we don’t have a party. And it looks like our new titular leader is an uber-selfish airhead with boundless ambition and equally boundless emptiness and ignorance.
And that’s why I don’t look for today’s GOP So-So hopes to only get half of its members to vote no to change any time in the next eight years.
We only keep going down from here.
Today, Justice J-Lo. Tomorrow, Justices Diddy and “Bruno.”

(Graphic from the Wall Street Journal)

By Debbie Schlussel
It’s like a gazillion Muslims going on the hajj to Mecca. Except it’s ladybugs instead of Muslims and Mecca is a Colorado city that got an overage of rain and remaining moisture.

By Debbie Schlussel
For those who missed out on yesterday’s 7-Eleven free Slurpee offering–or if you partook and want more liquid refreshment–here’s a cool recipe that you can easily do, from this week’s new issue of People magazine. I recommend not using so much sugar in your lemonade, so the flavors of the mint and cucumber aren’t overwhelmed by the sweetness. Since this recipe doesn’t give you the instructions for the lemonade part, click here for a classic basic lemonade recipe (I prefer to substitute two oranges for two of the lemons).
Refreshing, cool, and, ah, it hits the spot.

Enjoy!

By Debbie Schlussel
As longtime readers know, 7-Eleven is one of my favorite retailers. It’s quick, convenient, and constantly helping out American entrepreneurs to introduce cool, new products. (Read two of my previous tributes to 7-Eleven here and here.) Plus, who doesn’t love a Slurpee?
Tomorrow is 7-Eleven’s 82nd Birthday (yes, the company always celebrates its b-day on 7/11). And in honor of that, it’s FREE SLURPEES FOR EVERYONE!!!! In this hot summer weather, it hits the spot. And you can treat your whole family–a fantastic free treat in a tough economy.

If it’s July 11 or 7/11, then Slurpee drinks must be on the house at 7-Eleven stores. That’s because this Saturday is 7-Eleven Day, and the day the world’s first convenience retailer celebrates its birthday. This year promises to be the biggest ever, with 7-Eleven planning to give away close to 5 million free 7.11-ounce Slurpee drinks to celebrate its 82nd birthday at more than 6,000 stores in the U.S. and Canada.
The retailer has added something new to its annual tradition of giving away cups of its iconic frozen drink – live music. As an extra birthday bonus, this year’s colorful “Happy Birthday!” cups feature a Slurpee Nation rewards code worth 2 rewards points, enough to enter the 7-Eleven Day instant win game online at www.slurpee.com. Upon entering, all players will receive a code to buy reduced-price Live Nation concert tickets for some of the hottest acts on tour this summer.
Cup codes can be entered at www.slurpee.com or texted to 33992. The 7-Eleven Day instant win game runs from 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. (CDT) for a chance to win one of 711 $50 Live Nation Concert Cash prizes, redeemable for concert tickets sold at www.livenation.com. Everyone entering the 7-Eleven Day instant win game at the Slurpee website will receive a code and website link to purchase $7.11 lawn tickets for concerts at select Live Nation venues across the country (some additional fees apply).
The concert ticket codes are valid for the discounted ticket prices through Sunday, July 12, at 10 p.m. (CDT). The $7.11 tickets are good toward select general admission lawn seats at Live Nation-owned and operated venues while supplies last.

Get your free Slurpee, tomorrow. And happy 82nd, 7-Eleven.

By Debbie Schlussel

These are my two favorite scenes in the movie, “Bruno,” in theaters today:

* Harrison Ford saying “F-ck Off!” and rushing away in response to Sacha Baron Cohen’s ambush attempt to try to interview him outside a restaurant; and

* Orthodox Jews in Jerusalem chasing Cohen away (and, believe me, he runs in fear in this scene).

Yes, my fellow co-religionists have it right, and the draft-dodger alter ego of Han Solo and Indiana Jones earns new-found respect from me.

These are the only people who had the guts to just say no to Cohen, this time dressed up as “Bruno,” a gay Austrian who was fired from his fashion TV show and is seeking to become a famous celebrity in America. It’s basically a re-run of “Borat” (read my review), with an overtly gay Austrian stereotype with zero editing button or shame substituted for the anti-Semitic, racist, bigoted Kazakh stereotype with zero editing button or shame.

In fact, the problem with this extremely vile, disgusting movie, which has some very humorous parts to it, is that no-one in America has the guts to say no to this vulgar pig, Sacha Baron Cohen. Even a supposedly “brave” terrorist, Ayman Abu Aita, the head of the Palestinian terrorist group and homicide bombing cretins, Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades, doesn’t have the guts to tell Cohen to “F- Off!” This true coward sits and takes it from a comedian dressed as an over the top flamboyantly gay man.

This movie is more of the same shock, only upped several notches. We see prolongued close-up shots of a talking penis and a penis swinging around. Is that funny to you? ‘Cuz it wasn’t funny to me. I also cringed at shots of Cohen’s penis in a dustbuster vacuum cylinder . . . while the vacuum is on. Why isn’t this NC-17, at the very least? Did I need to see his stereotypical gay Filipino boyfriend with a champagne bottle up his naked rear end and pouring champagne into glasses from it? If you need to do that to be funny, you just aren’t funny.

The same goes for multiple shots of some Southern hicks in live sex orgies at a swingers party in Mississipi or Alabama (I forget which). Is this typical of Americans? Hell no, but it is typical of the way Cohen portrays us as he lives in our midst and makes gazillions off of hating on us.

If I were Bin Laden I’d say, “Na’am [yes]! Now, we can stop producing those cumbersone recruitment videos and just show ‘Bruno.'” It shows a tiny fringe of America and presents our country at its worst. And it’s just sickening.
And there’s more of the same mocking of Middle America and conservative politicians, as Cohen entraps Ron Paul and pulls his (Cohen’s) pants down, goes camping with some Alabamans and tries to invade their tents in the middle of night, stark naked. And then there are the many Southerners at a “Straight Dave” rally with t-shirt slogans I won’t repeat here. He then shocks them by making out with his male Austrian assistant. Haha, funny. More like cringe-worthy.

And then there were the very funny scenes that were hilarious, but not enough to make up for the rampant vile shocks throughout the rest of the movie.

Cohen’s “Bruno” rents out a swanky home in Hollywood, in which he plans to interview celebrities for a TV show. But there is no furniture. Cohen enlists the house’s illegal alien gardeners and pool boys to be the furniture. Soon Paula Abdul arrives and is droning on and on about her charity work . . . while she and Cohen are sitting on Mexicans. The irony and comedy of all of this simply doesn’t occur to Abdul until the sushi hors d’oeuvres come out . . . on a table consisting of a fat, naked Mexican. Did we really need to see this guy’s penis sticking out from the food?

At this point Abdul finally acquires a brain cell and realizes that she should walk out. Word has spread through her publicist and the other celebs Cohen planned to interview won’t be coming through. That includes “Brad-olph Pitt-ler” and “Der Fuhrer” (a photo of America’s most famous Nazi, Mel Gibson, is shown). Yes, Bruno has been “schwarz-listed.” (In case you don’t know, schwarz or schwartz are German for black.)

Cohen’s “Bruno,” desperately seeking to become famous decides to get his own charity. The absolute cluelessness of the celebrity charity consultants (who are identical twins and dress alike even in “adulthood”) is typical. They stress that “global warming” is really in right now (shocker!) and that maybe he might be interested in this place in Africa–“duhfuh . . . daafaa . . . dafaar . . . what is it called? . . . you know that place?”)

Bruno adopts a Black baby, a la Madonna and Angelina Jolie and brings it to America. The scenes involving the baby are hilarious and a great social commentary on the celebs who use Black infants as accessories. “Bruno” carries this joke all the way.

Bruno’s audition interviews with starstruck Hollywood stage parents (seeking to have their babies get jobs posing in photos with his baby) comprise more great material for the Bin Ladens, Ahmadinejads, and Nasrallahs of the world.
There are echoes of Lynn Spears (mom of Britney) and Kathy Hilton (parental pimp of Paris) as there is nothing these desperate and valueless parents won’t allow their kids to do. One woman tells Cohen that her baby weighs thirty pounds, but agrees to force the baby to lose 10 pounds in a week or two or get liposuction if that doesn’t work. Parents agree to have their babies pose nailed from crosses and in Nazi SS uniforms shown putting a Jewish baby into an oven. Yes, some people–far too many parents–in America will do anything in their quest for fame and fortune for their kids and themselves. On Eight Mile in Detroit there’s a name for that: pimp.

And those are the highlights–and very many lowlights!–of “Bruno.” Like I said, it’s extremely vile, vulgar, and full of gay sex contraptions and sex toys . . . many of which are demonstrated on-screen. If you’ve ever thought of the initials TMI, this is the onscreen version.

While there were some very funny scenes, the movie is just so disgusting and filthy, you don’t need to be a prude to recognize that this foreign comedian’s exercise in self-flagellation is utter trash.

Gays are worried about how this movie mocks them. Trust me, it mocks straight, Red-State Americans far more. Not to mention, it’s depraved. To say this movie is in bad taste is the understatement of the year.

FOUR MARXES PLUS

***

I also had the displeasure of seeing possibly the worst movie of the year right before I saw “Bruno.” “I Love You, Beth Cooper” gets zero love from me. More like HATE, as in “I HATED This Movie.” An utter and complete waste of time, this stupid, schlocky, low-class movie is about two sex-starved dorky high school graduates (one of them gay) and their quest for sex. The main character is a geeky, hideous high school valedictorian, who declares his love for fellow grad Beth Cooper (the very average Hayden Panettiere) in his high school graduation valedictory speech. It’s downhill–or, in this case, down sand-grain–from there. The movie is not only low-class with horrid actors, but it’s just slow, stupid, and a complete rip-off of ten dollars. Just dumb.

Ironically, the father figure in this silver screen stupidity is Alan Ruck, whowas a co-star in a great teen movie, “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” Now, that was how a classic teen buddy flick was made. I guess times are tough for him since then, and he’ll do anything for a paycheck. This was absolutely awful.

SKIP. AT. ALL. COST.
FOUR MARXES PLUS