By Debbie Schlussel

You’ve probably already seen some of these funny cakes frosted by morons, and they’re hilariously entertaining. A great statement on the state of total basic ignorance and lack of common sense. It’s like your average failed “American Idol” contestant got a job at a bakery.  They’re not just America’s future.  They’re its present.

My fave is the cake ordered “with nothing on it,” and how that translated. But I don’t think I’d plunk down any cash for a whole book on it. Jen Yates of CakeWrecks.com has a new book, “Cake Wrecks: When Professional Cakes Go Hilariously Wrong,” featuring these and others. And, incredibly, it’s in the top 600 bestsellers on Amazon.com as I write this. (I guess that plug in the Andre Agassi “I Used Crystal Meth” latest issue of People helped.)

By Debbie Schlussel

I saw a movie last night, starring in your face, morbidly obese actress, Monique, about whom I’ve previously written (here and here). To remind you, she’s the star of the movie, “Phat Girlz” (read my review) and author of “Skinny Women Are Evil.”

And while I’m prohibited from reviewing the HOprah-produced movie, “Precious:  Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire,” until it’s upcoming release, I can say that the movie confirms my consistent belief about her:

We need Less Nique, not Mo’.

***

Reminds me of the punchline to the Chris Rock joke about when Bill Clinton opened offices in Harlem (is his office still there or just a publicity stunt?):

Good-bye Monica, Hellooooo Monique.

PREVIOUS:

*  Eeuuww!: Mo’Nique Hosts Fat Chick “Beauty” Pageant

* Weekend Box Office: Phat Girlz–EEUUW!; Anti-White Racism & Other Reasons to Hate Fat Chicks

By Debbie Schlussel

Yet again, this week, Sunday’s Detroit Lions game is blacked out from being broadcast in the Detroit area because not enough people purchased tickets to the game by the deadline.  I couldn’t care less, of course, because–even though I like pro sports, especially football–it’s not my job to waste valuable hours of my life on a couch to make tax-subsidized billionaires and gazillionaires richer.

Still, check out this video of a recent Lions game, and you’ll see why maybe it’s a good thing these games aren’t shown.  (Though we don’t know what happened before the video began, I don’t think there’s a racial element to this, even though it’s two drunken White women versus two Black men.  If you’ll note, after this exercise in multi-cultural diversity, the mostly White fans are applauding their ouster, too.) Oh, and one tip to the chick with straight hair: If you’re gonna wear low-rise jeans, best not to wear high-rise undies.

By Debbie Schlussel

Looks like I may have to eat crow on my post about “the problem with chick reporters.” In that, I criticized female Chicago Tribune reporters for drooling over  an Islamic terrorist”s “striking eyes.”  But apparently, this problem extends to male reporters covering Muslims, too.

“Pretty, Petite” Muslima Honor-killeratrix Rabia Sarwar

As reader James points out, focusing on the criminal’s looks is an equal opportunity  offense (for reporters of both genders) . . . when it comes to covering Muslims.

Two male reporters for the New York Daily News, Rocco Parascandola and John Lauinger, in their report on attempted honor-killer Rabia Sarwar, raved over her looks, too . . . as if being an alleged beauty somehow lessens her crime.   They repeatedly make references to Sarwar as a delicate flower:   “a soft-spoken Muslim woman, ” “the pretty petite Sarwar, 37,” ” ‘She is very soft-spoken.'”

Uh, guys, think with the other brain.  More on this attempted Muslim honor-killing, yet the latest of many on U.S. soil I’ve covered over the years on this site and elsewhere:

A soft-spoken Muslim woman tried to slit her Staten Island husband’s throat as he slept – enraged that he made her eat pork and wear sexy skirts, officials said.

“It’s time for you to die!” screamed Rabia Sarwar as she pounced on hubby Sheikh Naseem, sources said.

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By Debbie Schlussel

Unfortunately, this isn’t up to his usual, hilarious standards, but it’s still somewhat funny (if at times, also stupid).  “Jake Byrd,” the alter ego of “Jimmy Kimmel Live” writer and comedian Anthony “Tony” Barbieri does yet another video segment.

This time it’s at the Los Angeles premiere of the Michael Jackson movie, “This Is It” (read my review).  While his question to a Jackson brother is a really, really  low blow, the end stuff–where he mocks yet more Jackson fans–is good.  That girl with the multiple Michael Jackson tattoos should be committed.  That he/she/it with the multiple pierces talking about Michael Jackson’s dedication to peace and love, while shoving Jake Byrd, is illustrative of the BS.  Question: Did Larry Birkhead-Nicole-Smith artificially inseminate Anna Nicole Smith? He sure seems like he ain’t playin’ “for the same team.” Even Michael Jackson’s clothes are going on tour?  Please, make it stop. Byrd jokes after the movie, “Good luck getting a sequel out of that one.” Trust me, they’ll find a way.

Watch some of his great past Jake Byrd videos here, here, here, and here. Can’t miss classic: Jake Byrd invades an ObamaCare rally.

By Debbie Schlussel

As basketball coach at Texas Tech, Bobby Knight drew a lot of criticism for his blunt statements.  But he had nothing on the school’s football coach, Mike Leach, who blames his team’s loss this past weekend on the adulation the players get from “their fat girlfriends.”  Hmmm . . . he has a point.  Gotta admire the guy for refusing to apologize to fat chicks (and his players’ concubines). And the Red Raiders gridiron coach gives dating advice, too.

Watch the mildly amusing videos, below. Oh, and by the way, I don’t think there’s a word, “conversate” (although I just looked it up and I guess this improper English is now considered an accepted slang–thanks, Ebonics!)  I believe it’s “converse.” But I guess they don’t hire football coaches for their vocabulary.

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By Debbie Schlussel

So, as you’ve no doubt noticed, I was away all day.  Where was I?  Wasting my life away watching the garbage produced by Hollywood.  I had to screen four movies today (two with the smug George Clooney in ’em, so it’s doubly overbearing), so I can review them for you in the coming weeks.  And I’m in what I call a “movie coma,” overwhelmed and exhausted from just sitting there passively.

Below are trailers of what I saw today.  Can you guess which movie or movies I liked, if any?  Stay tuned for my reviews.

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By Debbie Schlussel

Yesterday afternoon, FBI agents raided a Dearbornistan warehouse and other locations and arrested several Muslim men whom they say were an organized Islamic terrorist cell.

Luqman Abdullah: Imam of Extremist Black Muslim Ex-Con Group

Raided Detroit Black Muslim “Terror Cell” Was Organized Around This CAIR Cause

While you might applaud that, here’s the skinny that might make you think otherwise. It’s all about lazy and politically correct priorities coupled with easy convictions and lots of great publicity.

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By Debbie Schlussel

Reader Sorrow01 sent along this great LiveScience article about how we are one of the few species of mammal in which the father has interaction with his offspring after they are born.   Yes, fathers make us human.  But, sadly, it’s a long-term trend I’ve written about here over the years that almost half of U.S. children are not only born out of wedlock but have absolutely no father figure in their lives.

This Is Your Brain Without A Dad. Any Questions?

Unlike many other animals, humans need their fathers well beyond the act that leads to conception, researchers are coming to realize.

Now, there’s yet another study–this one scientific–that shows fathers do matter and that, without them in a child’s life, a kid is likely to have many behavioral problems.  Previous studies were behavioral studies on humans.  But this latest study deals with the brains and behavioral activity of rodents.  It’s interesting.  And it shows that feminists and the single motherhood they’ve pushed on America create serious defects, proven by science. It shows the deleterious physical effects an absent father has . . . ultimately on our society. And Sarah Palin’s grandson–even if his father is as dysfunctional as the rest of the Palin family–is no exception. They’re part of the problem, NOT the solution.

“This is Your Brain Without Dad” details the results of the study:

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By Debbie Schlussel

Today’s Chicago Tribune highlights the problem with chick reporters.  A story written by three female reporters–Mary Wisniewski, Natasha Korecki, and Nancy Stuenkel–tells us this “important detail” about one of the Islamic terrorists indicted for using their Chicago-area halal slaughterhouse as a base for terror attacks in Denmark:

Denmark terrorism suspect a heroin smuggler with striking eyes: court records

Chicago Trib Reporters In Love w/ Islamic Terrorist’s “Striking” Eyes

Um, does anyone really believe that any court records anywhere in America said a terrorism suspect has “striking eyes”? And why the heck would we care what his eyes look like? How does that have anything to do with the guy’s involvement in international Islamic terrorism? So, if he’s got nice eyes, he couldn’t possibly be a terrorist? Hilarious. Guess what, Chicago Tribune?–They don’t all look as Halloween-scary as Mohammed Atta.

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