October 7, 2014, - 5:57 pm
DUMB: Michigan Man Prosecuted for Hugging Customers (But It IS Inappropriate)
I don’t like when people I barely know try to hug me instead of a handshake. It violates my space and it’s creepy to me, but I know that most of them mean no harm. I certainly wouldn’t file a police report over it. But that’s what happened to Fred Civis. And I feel for the guy. He’s a cashier at a grocery store who has worked there for 39 years. Or was. He was fired AND charged with assault and battery for hugging a customer.
I agree with the choice to fire him, although I feel for anyone who loses his/her job, especially a cashier for 39 years who is age 57 and is faced with a tough situation economically. But he was warned several times by the employer not to hug customers, and he persisted. This is bad for business. On the other hand, it is a small town area where everyone knows everyone, so perhaps he felt too comfortably familiar with customers. Still, the man should not be prosecuted for assault and battery. Really? From a hug?
In August, supermarket clerk Fred Civis was arrested and fired from his job of 39 years after a customer he hugged reported him to the store and police. Many in town have rallied behind the popular cashier, launching a boycott that has slowed business at Plumb’s Valu-Rite Foods. . . .
Civis, 57, charged with assault and battery, is scheduled to appear in District Court in Muskegon on Oct. 15. The misdemeanor is punishable by up to a $500 fine and 90 days in jail. He declined comment, but his wife said he did nothing wrong. “This is a terrible accusation,” Marsha Civis wrote in a Facebook message directed toward the complainant. “I hope you will grow up and just love people.”
Plumb’s said the problem went beyond a simple hug. Civis had been warned several times about touching customers in ways they found too personal, said Jim Nader, Plumb’s president and chief executive. During a warning last year, Civis was told another incident could lead to his firing, Nader said. “We don’t terminate someone for giving unwanted hugs,” he said. “He just couldn’t follow the policy.”
Everyone in the community of 2,700 seems to know Civis. He was 18 when he began working at Plumb’s, which was the only grocery in town until 2010. At 6-foot-3 and 300 pounds, he is a bear of a man. Whether the bear is a teddy or grizzly depends on one’s vantage point. Some customers sought him as a cashier, even if his line was longer than others. Others avoided him, including a few who stopped shopping at the store.
Civis has an effusive personality that can come across a little strong, said friends. He greets people with a booming voice and sometimes stutters and pauses awkwardly as he searches for something funny to say. “He’s a little different,” said Lorna Cavanaugh, 68, who has known Civis his whole life. “But there’s not a malicious bone in his body.” If Civis didn’t know a female customer, he might suggest or ask if she needed a hug, said friends. If he knew the woman, he might embrace her unbidden. Supporters described the hug as Civis reaching around the woman’s shoulders as they stood side by side. But other customers said the embraces turned more invasive in the past few years.
You need to read the rest of the article, but it reflects how things can go badly out of control in our society. Some say that Civis’ “hugs” turned into more and that he did “feel up” customers. Others disagree. But his accusers are referring to him as a “sex assailant.” I think that’s a bit of an exaggeration. But he could have been charged with criminal sexual conduct. He should be happy he was not.
When I read this story, it reminded me of an experience I had as a young kid. I was in a school carpool, and one of the fathers who drove the carpool creeped me out and really annoyed me. He was totally inappropriate and didn’t get the hint, including my several express statements that he should stop this. Every time this guy drove carpool, he would insist that I and my sisters and at least one female friend in the carpool give him a kiss on the cheek. I was disgusted and NEVER did it. I always jumped out of the car and ran like hell, maneuvering away from this creep. I complained about it, but everyone said this guy was harmless and laughed about it, thinking it was funny. Not in my mind then, and not now.
If we were in carpool today, the guy who drove carpool would probably be prosecuted for and convicted of at least 4th degree criminal sexual conduct if I, my sisters, or any of the other girls in the vehicle complained about his “kisses” to authorities, and school officials would have been bound to report it to police. Still, I would never do that or press charges against the guy, as I don’t think it reaches the point that this guy should be labeled as a sex offender or criminal for the rest of his life, and I feel the same thing about this guy, Civis. The behavior is downright creepy and totally inappropriate. But not anything that should ruin a person’s life forever. Reporting a hugger to police is ridiculous. Pressing criminal charges against him is even more so. What–there aren’t other crimes going on in Muskegon County, Michigan? Trust me, there are.
The father who drove our carpool never tried to do anything else, but I didn’t care as he clearly crossed boundaries and knew his actions were unwanted by us young girls. I knew, even though I was very young at the time, that this was completely wrong. And it made me extremely uncomfortable and dreading carpool whenever this jerk was the driver. The man is still alive today and I don’t want to embarrass him or his family, so I am leaving out names. Was he a pedophile? I don’t think so. But his behavior came pretty close to crossing that line. And I would be horrified if I had a daughter and the guy tried to do that to her.
Like I said, I think the hugging guy is the same as the kissing bandit carpool guy. Neither should be charged with a crime. But they shouldn’t be driving carpool or manning cash registers at a grocery store. They don’t understand obvious boundaries even after being told to stop.
Still, I do feel it’s a tragedy for this man more so than the women who complained against him. They “suffered” for like two seconds when he hugged them. And anyone who is mentally wounded for the rest of her life by a two second hug has something wrong with her. In contrast, I doubt Civis will be able to find another job at age 57, since all he’s ever done is be a cashier since age 18, and it’s in a small-town area. Also, it seems like he is a little slow or maybe has something a little wrong with him mentally or he would have stopped when asked by his employer. He may be mildly autistic or have Asperger’s Syndrome.
So what do you think of the hugger? Should he be prosecuted? Again, I don’t think so. There are real crimes to prosecute. This isn’t one of them. It’s not like he “felt up” or molested customers, even if his unwanted hugs might constituted literal molesting to some extent. I don’t like touchy-feely people. But I think that’s all there is here.
Do you disagree?
I think I have the solution to this whole problem. Fred Civis should say he converted to Islam, and therefore, all hugs and touching, whether or not beyond the bounds of appropriateness, will be allowed in the name of tolerance for those who “believe differently than we do” and that excessively uttered slogan: “Don’t judge!”
Tags: Fred Civis
you called it right. it is creepy.
funny how much of the elite and hollywood are presently promoting pedophlia. like the gay scene that they support. for young people today I think it is a lot more dangerous then 20 or 30 years ago. there is a strong effort to normalize this behaviour.
General P. Malaise on October 7, 2014 at 6:18 pm