By Debbie Schlussel

The movies are mostly average to horrid, this weekend, but for the exceptional “Inglourious Basterds,” my review of which was posted yesterday.  But that’s usually the box office scoop for August, the cemetery where bad movies are sent to die (like I said, “Basterds” is the exception).

*  “Inglourious Basterds“:  Best movie I’ve seen all year.  Jewish American soldiers and a French Jew, whose family was killed by the Nazis, take revenge on the Nazis.  Read my full review.

FOUR REAGANS

*  “Adam“:  This movie was strange.  And it had a little too much melodrama for me.  I didn’t like the ending either, which was very cold.  Still, it was interesting.  A woman dates her neighbor, who has Asperger’s syndrome.  She falls in love with him, but doesn’t know if she should spend her life with a man who can never feel or express emotions like those without the condition.  Has its funny moments, but was, ultimately, very sad.

ONE REAGAN

*  “Ponyo“:  A Japanese animated film for kids, this was dubbed in with the English-speaking voices of mostly American celebrities.  Many critics (and parents) raved over it, but while it was very cute and relaxing, for me it was just okay.  Nothing wrong with it.  But, after far better animated movies like “Up” (read my review), this was lackluster in comparison.  Still, it’s great for family entertainment if you have young kids.  But, at almost two hours, it’s kind of long for restless kids.

It’s the story of a young boy, Sosuke, whose father is a ship’s captain, and his mother works at a nursing home.  They live in a house on a cliff, next to the sea.  The boyfinds a cute goldfish (Ponyo) who wants to become a human girl.  Her evil wizard father, who lives underwater, holds Ponyo and her sister fish captive and plots to keep her.  Soon he sends waves of ocean to flood the land.  And the story continues with the Sosuke and Ponyo on the flooded land trying to find Sosuke’s mother and and Ponyo trying to and partially becoming human.

ONE-AND-A-HALF REAGANS

*  “Shorts“:  A giant booger chases kids in this movie.  Yup, a giant booger.  Need I say more about this movie and how awful it was?

A boy who is bullied at school finds a multi-colored rock that grants wishes.  But the wishes always backfire and have unintended consequences.  And, soon, everyone–even bad kids and ill-motivated parents–knows about the rock and its powers.

While the messages of this movie were good ones–be careful what you wish for; greed is bad; appreciate your life, rather than  workging so hard you don’t have time for family– the movie was simply awful.  It was so bright, so fast-paced, so much going on, so many flashbacks, flash-forwards, and other things thrown in, it was a mess.  And it gave me a headache.

Best to stay away.

ONE MARX

*  “Post Grad“:  Another late August cinema dud.  A recent college graduate, Alexis Bledel, struggles to find a job and lives at home with her wacky family (dad is Michael Keaton).  Meanwhile, her platonic male friend pines for her.

Completely pointless and a waste of time.  Bad jokes, cheesy, and just plain stupid.  Not to mention, predictable.  Looks like some actors really needed a paycheck.

Skipworthiness extraordinaire.

ONE MARX

*  “The Goods:  Live Hard, Sell Hard“:  Possibly the worst movie of the year and definitely in the running for the title.  Jeremy Piven plays a sleazy salesman who is brought in to move cars at a dealership owned by Mr. Barbra Streisand, James Brolin.  It’s not just that every other word in this movie is a four-letter one or some vulgar expression.  It’s that the movie stank and was so stupid, so bad, so groanworthy, so unfunny, it’s a wonder that this piece of trash got made, even from major trash producer Hollywood.

Skip at all cost.

FOUR MARXES