By Debbie Schlussel

I was out very sick the last two days with an incredible migraine and a related fever/flu. But while I was away, I didn’t miss much. The great mobster actor Dennis Farina died and an annoying, crazy man from FOX News showed us his bare torso, making me barf even more than from illness. And America, once again, showed that we–or, at least, most of the rest of you long for the days of the monarchy. The hype over the British royal baby–who is nothing more than the progeny of centuries of inbreeding (some of them descended from Mohammed–yes, the Brit Royal family has him as an ancestor)–shows that, sadly, far too many Americans have forgotten that we overthrew that monarchy centuries ago. Americans–when they elect statists like Barack Obama over and over, and when they gush over some annoying baby born out of the right vagina–show that they want a dictator yet again.

I’m saddened by all this. It’s not just about celebrity. Today’s USA Today, which is–hellooooo . . . ?–supposed to be the national McPaper of the United States, calls the new British Prince, “The People’s Prince.” Really? Which people? He’s not my prince. Again, this is America. We don’t have royalty. We don’t have glorified high school drop-out inbreeds sitting collecting national welfare and being celebrated the way the Brits celebrate Prince William and Princess Kate and their new spawn. At least, we’re not supposed to. But Americans like–they long for–royalty. Whether it was the Kennedys or their trashy, low-life imitation, the Obamas, Americans can’t take democracy or equality of opportunity. They want to be ruled.

If the November 2012 Presidential election wasn’t Exhibit A of this, I don’t know what is. Americans want government to be their King. Their King BabyDaddy, Their King Oppressor, Their King Witch Doctor, and so on. Americans don’t want to fend for themselves, the way our forefathers did, when we broke from the British. Tea Parties would never happen today. We’d pay the tax. The movement that calls itself, “The Tea Party,” is unfortunately, in part, the machine of some wealthy Republican consultants out of California, headed by Sal Russo–a man who paid himself millions out of “Tea Party” profits. Cha-ching!

Americans clearly want to hearken back to a day when we did what the British King asked of us, when we didn’t dare disobey. That’s part of the celebrity culture surrounding the birth of the new British Prince. Other than that, he’s nothing more than the product of lucky sperm and an egg and not much else. They’ve never achieved anything of substance, and they stand for nothing. What exactly do they do, other than look nice, walk around, and collect money? I’m not sure.

Maybe, one day, Americans will wake up from that. But don’t hold your breath. There’s a reason every single national American news outlet has a big segment of its “news” coverage focused on this new spoiled kid destined for bratdom and Islamo-pandering like his parents, granddad Charles (the self-appointed “Ambassador for Islam”), and great-grandparents (none of whom has ever visited Israel and won’t).