By Debbie Schlussel
In raising your young kids, don’t worry about the tons of sex and violence they are exposed to on TV. Those aren’t problems. You know what the real problem is?
Sand on the beach. Yeah, that’s the ticket. Instill a fear of sand in your kid.
Oh, and did I mention that $65K in your tax money paid for the study that issues the alarm and says you shouldn’t handle food with dirty hands?

Add playing in the sand to the long list of fun things that may be bad for your health.

A new study says you risk getting an upset stomach and diarrhea if you dig into the granular stuff to fill toy pails, build sand castles or bury yourself. You’re better off walking along the shore or swimming in the surf.
Is the federal government, which paid $63,500 for the research, throwing a major bummer into the beach-going season? . . .
The report’s authors said they don’t mean to put a damper on summer fun. They just think it’s important to caution people about the bird droppings, urban runoff, sewage and other contaminants that pollute sand.
“Take care to use a hand sanitizer or wash hands after playing in the sand,” said Tim Wade, an epidemiologist with the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency who helped write the study. . . .
As part of a larger assessment of water quality at beaches, EPA researchers interviewed more than 27,000 beach-goers in 2003, 2004, 2005 and 2007. There were four sites on the Great Lakes and one each in Mississippi, Alabama and Rhode Island.
Beach-goers were asked about their contact with sand on the day of their visit. Ten to 12 days later, they were contacted by phone to discuss health problems that surfaced since then.
The EPA and the University of North Carolina analyzed the information, and their results appear in the latest edition of the American Journal of Epidemiology. It’s being touted as the most comprehensive look at how specific activities involving beach sand might cause sickness.
Less than 10 percent of people who played with sand came down with diarrhea and/or gastrointestinal illness.
But that number is still up to 24 percent higher than for folks who didn’t. Researchers said the risk of illness was highest for those who were buried in the sand and that children are more likely than adults to fall sick. . . .
“We are hypothesizing . . . that people are coming into contact with fecal contamination in the sand and then transferring that to their hands and then to their mouth,” he said.
Heaney said beach-goers should be careful when handling food.
“The beach . . . is not a sterile environment,” he said.

So, they’re hypothesizing, but they have no actual proof that playing in the sand causes any of these illnesses.
But, wow, $65,000 spent to give us some real genius advice, which is essentially, “Wash your hands before eating.”
Einstein stuff.