May 29, 2009, - 1:32 pm
“So-So”: Sonia From the Block a/k/a Justice J-Lo
By Debbie Schlussel
I can’t help but notice that the sole reason So-So (my very appropriate name for Sonia Sotomayor) was chosen as Barack Obama’s nominee for the U.S. Supreme Court is that she shares the life story of J-Lo, Jennifer Lopez.
In fact, the lyrics of the cheesy “Jenny From the Block” are basically the reason “Sonia from the Block” was chosen for the highest court in the land (minus the part about “put[ting] G-d first”). It’s just frankly, hilarious. Our President chose this chick because like, J-Lo, she’s a Puerto Ricana from South Bronx who went from rags to semi-riches. And that’s it. That’s the whole reason. What a joke. Guess I’m gonna have to refer to her as “Justice J-Lo,” once she gets confirmed by the Democrat dominated Senate. After all, neither J-Lo nor So-So have set any remarkable legal precedent in their lives. Neither have achieved legal greatness, and one of ’em is about to become a legal Supreme.
Here are the “Sonia From the Block” Lyrics. Obviously, I’ve substituted her name for “Jenny” and So-So’s “robe” for J-Lo’s “rocks.” She might as well sing this at her confirmation hearing, as it’s basically the Cliff’s Notes version of what we’ve heard from and about her so far this week:
Don’t be fooled by the robe that I got
I’m still, I’m still Sonia from the block
Used to have a little, now I have a lot
No matter where I go, I know where I came from (South-Side Bronx!)
Don’t be fooled by the robe that I got
I’m still, I’m still Sonia from the block
Used to have a little, now I have a lot
No matter where I go, I know where I came from (South-Side Bronx!) . . .
I’m down to earth like this
Rockin this business
I’ve grown up so much
I’m in control and loving it [Translation: I set policy from the bench and laugh about it in a videotaped speech]
Rumors got me laughing, kid
Love my life and my public . . .
Don’t be fooled by the robe that I got
I’m still, I’m still Sonia from the block
Used to have a little, now I have a lot
No matter where I go, I know where I came from (South-Side Bronx!)
Don’t be fooled by the robe that I got
I’m still, I’m still Sonia from the block
Used to have a little, now I have a lot
No matter where I go, I know where I came from (South-Side Bronx!)
Here’s the video (the song doesn’t start until about 40 seconds in). Imagine “Sonia” instead of “Jenny.” Their story is basically the same, minus the body (and, likely, the booty) and the cheesy tool, Ben Affleck:
Debbie, you coined the phrase So-So. Awesome. The lyrics are so fitting for her.
californiascreaming on May 29, 2009 at 3:22 pm