May 15, 2009, - 3:25 pm
More Weekend Box Office: “Tyson”–Glorifying a Thuggish Idiot Who Became a Muslim
By Debbie Schlussel
I’ve already reviewed “Angels & Demons.” The other new movie out, this weekend, is the documentary “Tyson.”
I think it’s hard to actually call this a “documentary,” because it doesn’t document anything. It’s Mike Tyson going on and on about his life, and there’s simply nothing new in it. There are no interviews with anyone else. It’s just a video ode to a guy that doesn’t deserve one. Mike Tyson is a thug, and an uncivilized monster who messed up every single thing in his life. And he converted to Islam. But, then, I repeat myself.
Tyson talks about how he enjoyed robbing White people and sleeping around. And he tries in vain to use big words that sound important, but yet he doesn’t know what they mean and uses them improperly. My favorite part is when he tells us how he met everyone important, including the “President of Istanbul.” There is no President of Istanbul (but there is a President and a Prime Minister of Turkey). He can’t travel to South Africa to meet his idol and friend, Nelson Mandela, “because of probation problems.” No kidding.
My other favorite part is when Tyson tells us of his conversion to the “Religion of Peace,” as Mike Tyson really is emblematic of most of the soulless, thuggish, empty Americans who try to find who they don’t have in Islam, and don’t get anything new from it, but for extremism:
When I was in jail, I lost faith in G-d. I became a Muslim in prison, but I really lost faith in myself. When I first took my shehadah [DS: Islamic oath of martyrdom, the uttering of which makes one a Muslim], I became extreme. I used Islam because I was bitter at the world. I was full of hate.
Yup, that sounds like your typical Muslim convert. Or just typical Muslim, period. Sadly, Tyson goes on to try to rehabilitate Islam and tell us of the “true Islam,” bragging of his Islamic, Che Guevara, and Mao tattoos and how ahead of his time he was to admire these scumbags. You trendsetter, you. But we can’t forget his famous statement to Lennox Lewis, which strangely now includes what our media left out at the end–the part about Allah.
I want your heart. I want to eat his children, praise be to Allah.
The most disgusting part of the movie are scenes of mobs of fans (most of them White) greeting this thug, Tyson, when he gets released from prison on rape charges, and watching this brainless mob follow him to the mosque, the first place he goes (to pray).
Tyson’s statements about how his character in relation to Islam is one of the few insights in this entire movie. The rest of just crap, unless you consider Tyson’s disgusting, vulgar renditions of some of his sexual escapades and how he “grew up in a promiscuous neighborhood, a promiscuous family, my mom was promiscuous, everyone was promiscuous, everyone was like suck my d—, lick my p—-,” an “insight.” (And as if that somehow excuses his animal-like behavior.) Anyone who reads a paper or watched a news report knows that sex is rampant in the ghetto. It’s no revelation when Tyson tells us how he got gonorrhea “from a prostitute or a filthy woman or something.” That he can’t remember is a pretty good indication that someone needs to look in the mirror when he tells us about “filth.”
We also know that racism is, too. Tyson tells us that a fighter who is White was a “punk-assed White boy,” and that when the late trainer Cus D’Amato took him into his home in the suburbs, “I wanted to rob those White people.” Tyson does admit that while he hated White people, he chose as his handler, the man who stole a lot of his money–the
wretched, slimy reptilian motherf–ker Don King. This is supposed to be my Black brother. I attacked him in front of these old, decrepit White women. They probably thought I was some Black heathen or something. But I stomped him and I stomped him and I stomped him.
And after that beating and some legal battles, King only gave him back “a small amount” of his money.
He finally gave me a small amount of money. It waas like 20 or 30 million or something. I don’t know how much, but it was really small.
Ah, Tyson–always the guy to have everything in perspective. And not violent either, like in the case of dining on Ear of Evander (Holyfield) or Leg of Lennox (Lewis).
I wasn’t upset with myself that I bit his ear, but that I lost my composure. At that point, I didn’t care about the fight. He hurt me, and I wanted to inflict the most pain possible against him.
Let’s hear it for Tyson perspective and maturity.
Way to go, Mike. Whatta guy. On the other hand, it is Don King, so I think we can give him a pass.
On the other hand, the perpetually sick-in-the-head Tyson tells us he liked people who were leeches. “I wanted them to suck my blood.” And how could you find a bigger leech than King, whom some stupid Republicans glommed onto in 2004 when he said he was voting for Bush?
It’s much of the obvious: Tyson telling us how he became a big boxer, how he made and spent most of his money, how he had so many women, how his obtrusively ugly face tattoo represents a Maori warrior (funny, he doesn’t look Maorish), how he didn’t really beat Robin Givens, and how the rape charges against him were made up (I do believe this claim, but not because he said so). Probably the funniest line is when Tyson speaks of getting sent to a juvenile detention center at age 12, where he runs into many of his equally youthful criminal consorts.
All of my friends that I hadn’t seen in a while, and I wondered where they went–they were there. Going to juvenile detention, it was like a class reunion.
One interview clip the movie shows is that of Tyson telling a TV interviewer:
I want to put the bourgeoisie and the erudites in their place–you know, all the people who think I’m trash and I’m scum. I’ll be trash and scum, but I’ll be angelic trash and scum.
Huh? You keep telling yourself that, Rusted Iron Mike. Leave bad attempts at working class bonhomie to the professionals. This is definitely a case where bourgeoiesie and erudites are underrated.
Finally, Tyson tells us some truth:
I never left the street corner . . . . I’m an insane individual.
No kidding. But did I need to sit through more than an hour of Mike Tyson yapping, as if he’s giving me some holy insight, to hear him utter the obvious?
I had to laugh, this morning, when I heard director James Toback say his movie explores the “depths,” “inner poignancy,” and “existential abyss” that he claims is Mike Tyson.
Sorry, but after watching this movie, I didn’t see any of that. Not even close. But maybe with enough such fertilizer from the director, something will grow.
On second thought . . . nah.
TWO MARXES
Wow….I’ll bet Nintendo is feeling good, knowing they won’t have this piece of shit in their new “Punch-Out” game coming to the Wii.
There’s a reason why they changed the champion completely in their re-iusse of the orignal NES “Punch-Out”: Becuase Tyson got out of control and has been that way since.
Oh, and he’s been involved in Wrestlemania 14. Gee I wonder why he didn’t go crazy in front of all those wrestlers in the locker room?
Squirrel3D on May 15, 2009 at 9:46 pm