March 20, 2008, - 12:33 pm
Darwin Tattoo Award Nominee of the Day: Stupid is as Stupid with Tats Does
By Debbie Schlussel
As readers know, I’m no fan of tattoos, especially on women, on whom it is the Official Mark of Skankdom. But this story shows us that tattoos are often the mark of natural selection . . .
When you’re accused of First Degree Murder, and you’re trying to beat the charges, what do you do to prove your innocence?
Well, if you’re the brilliant Ted Gipson of the Detroit area, you get a Murder One tattoo with a dead body under it.
It’s a modern-day, dumbed-down version of Edgar Allan Poe’s “Telltale Heart”–a loser thug anti-Einstein and his Telltale Tattoo:
Prosecutors allege that murder suspect Ted Gipson wore his crime under his sleeve, and now, he’s trying to hide it.
Ted Gipson and his older brother Scott Gipson are charged with the beating death of neighbor David Witting last year in Warren. As the younger Gipson sat in Macomb County Jail awaiting trial next week, prosecutors say he received a tattoo from another prisoner on his bicep that read “murder 1” — slang for a first-degree murder charge — over the outline of a body. But when he learned that police and prosecutors were coming to look at it, he got a second tattoo to obscure the initial drawing, alleged Macomb Assistant Prosecutor Jamie Whittenberg.
“He tried to cover it with a bulldog on his shoulder,” said Whittenberg, who brought the issue up to inform the judge and other attorneys in the murder case about the tattoo.. “It has been altered while in the jail.”
The Gipson brothers are charged with felony murder in connection with the Aug. 13 beating and death of Witting, 50, who later died as a result of his injuries at Henry Ford Macomb-Warren Campus.
Ted Gipson, 27, and Scott Gipson, 34, are accused of beating and stomping Witting to steal pills and a few dollars that he had in his wallet. Scott Gipson had confessed to police to hiding behind a Dumpster, then hitting Witting on the back of his head with a beer bottle.
Scumbags AND stupid. Nice combo. Let’s hope these cretins rot in jail forever, telling tattoo or not.
And I hope we won’t be paying for their college classes in prison. Clearly, they’re not smart enough even for that.
Tags: Allan Poe, Darwin Tattoo, David Witting, Debbie Schlussel As, Detroit, Henry Ford, Jamie Whittenberg, judge, Macomb Assistant Prosecutor, Macomb County Jail, Macomb-Warren Campus, Mark, official, Scott Gipson, Ted Gipson
I once defended a guy who wore a tattoo on his hands that said “OUTLAW.” Before trial, a made a motion in limine (granted) that the prosecutor be barred from mentioning it.
My guy got a mistrial after he started yelling and screaming when the cop identified him. When he was kicked out of the courtroom, he violated other court orders.
I had everything set up for him SO perfect, but he had to ruin it.
So, I’m not impressed with that merely moderate level of stupidity.
Ari on March 20, 2008 at 5:32 pm