Why not just engage a maid service, if housework such an obsession?

Worry01 on October 23, 2009 at 10:23 pm

This is such crap. I’ve had a cleaning woman since my first job after college, when I hardly made a living wage. It’s all about priorities and housecleaning is something neither my husband nor I want to spend time doing. I’d rather give up dinner out than give up my house cleaner.

BONNI on October 23, 2009 at 10:55 pm

Amen. I do enjoy your point of view.

Howard Tuttle on October 23, 2009 at 11:13 pm

These women don’t care about getting a little help with the housework. They have a grudge against men and have an unhealthy need to denigrate them.

George NYC on October 23, 2009 at 11:20 pm

We do have a housekeeper to do a bulk of the housework, but when my dh pitches in every so often it IS sexy. But is more than just doing housework. It is one way that he shows that he loves me and the more he does for me, the more I want to do for him (not just under the sheets).

Lee on October 24, 2009 at 12:43 am

I’ll agree to help my wife with housework when she agrees to help me with my job.

Jew Lover on October 24, 2009 at 5:31 am

Personally, I don’t have a problem with my husband sharing in the chores. We both work long hours at full-time jobs, and I also have a freelance design career. I often walk in the door at the end of the day, fire up the Mac and work 2-3 more hours almost every night of the week. I clean house, he does the laundry. I cook the meals, he cleans the kitchen. And we have a very healthy sex life. Sure, it’s not a sexy thing watching him do the chores, but it IS sexy, to me at least, that he cares enough to help me out. He has a very macho job (in law enforcement) and is a great father and role model to our daughter. He’s sexy enough to withstand housework.

Lilida on October 24, 2009 at 10:09 am

There is a big difference between the woman ordering the man around to do housework after his work and in the situation where the man and woman work together in certain situations to obtain a mutually beneficial goal, in this case, a clean house. When ANYONE lifts a finger to help lighten my load it is appreciated. I don’t have sex with anyone who helps me but if it was my husband I might.

Suz on October 24, 2009 at 10:33 am

On many occasions I would love to help my wife with housework except for football season thats when I’m too busy

seahawker on October 24, 2009 at 4:00 pm

House work is like any kind of work….it just needs to be done regardless. Being born with either a p***s or a v****a does not dictate where your future duties will lie. IMHO.

Chuck on October 24, 2009 at 4:21 pm

Whipped? Where is the airhead left protesting this??????

—

Saudi journalist sentenced to 60 lashes
Mohammed Jamjoom – CNN – October 24, 2009

A man’s sexual boasts on a TV show caused an uproar in Saudi Arabia, where Shariah, or Islamic law, is practiced.STORY

Journalist Rosanna Al-Yami works for network that aired show on taboos
Man’s sexual boasts on show led to five-year prison sentence
Journalist wasn’t involved in setting up TV episode, lawyer says
Saudi authorities shut down network’s offices in Jeddah and Riyadh after interview aired

(CNN) – A Saudi court sentenced a female journalist Saturday to 60 lashes for her work on a controversial Arabic-language TV show that aired an episode in which a man bragged about his sex life, two sources told CNN.

The court in Jeddah also imposed a two-year travel ban on Rosanna Al-Yami, according to a Saudi Information Ministry official, who could not be named because he is not authorized to speak to the media. The ban prevents her from traveling outside Saudi Arabia.

This official identified Al-Yami as a fixer, who helps journalists obtain stories, and a coordinator for Lebanese Broadcasting Corp., the network that aired “A Thick Red Line,” a popular show on social taboos.

On one episode, a Saudi man, Mazen Abdul Jawad, bragged about sex and got into trouble with Saudi authorities for his boasts. Abdul Jawad was put on trial and sentenced to five years in prison and 1,000 lashes.

Suleiman Al-Jumeii, the attorney who represents Abdul Jawad, also confirmed the sentence against Al-Yami, saying he believes she is the first Saudi journalist ever to be sentenced to lashes.

While the charges include involvement in preparing the program, she was not involved in setting up the episode in which Abdul Jawad appeared, the lawyer said.

Al-Jumeii doesn’t represent Al-Yami, but he said he is keeping tabs on all aspects of cases dealing with “A Thick Red Line.” The lawyer is attempting to pursue an appeal for his client and get his case heard in a special court that deals only with media matters.

CNN has attempted to get comments from Al-Yami and her attorney.

Abdul Jawad, a 32-year-old airline employee and divorced father of four, spoke openly about his sexual escapades, his love of sex and losing his virginity at age 14 on “A Thick Red Line.”

That episode caused an uproar in deeply conservative Saudi Arabia, where Shariah, or Islamic law, is practiced. Premarital sex is illegal, and unrelated men and women are not permitted to mingle.

Saudi authorities shut down the Lebanese network’s offices in Jeddah and Riyadh after the interview aired a few months ago. Abdul Jawad was arrested shortly after the program aired and charged with violating Saudi Arabia’s crime of publicizing vice.

Bob S. on October 24, 2009 at 5:59 pm

PLEASE forgive this indiscretion Ms. Schussel, but if I weren’t already happily married with children, I’d be on you like white on rice. (To PC idiots – this is the ultimate compliment).

Beauty isn’t uncommon, intelligence is hard to find – the combination of the two are rare.

Jew Lover on October 25, 2009 at 3:46 am

Ages ago when in college, I dated a young lady who always came home from school angry…at me & ‘Men’. Certain nights of the week, she took “Womyn’s Studies” courses. These ‘Ovulars’ schooled her that all sex was rape, including having children and that men were hopelessly sexist, domineering pigs. Inside I chuckled, we broke up soon after.

For years after, she continued to have difficult relationships with the men she chose, picking guys that fit the image of men taught to her at the UNiv of Mich.

All I had to do was move to Oakland County, MI to find out that most women are normal! Ann Arbor is a psychological Chernobyl.

As family, I help with housework, because there’s lots of it that needs to be done. I don’t find it emasculating, I like a cleaner than normal house too. We’ve been married 17 years, my wife is beautiful.

They must be using ACORN money on these idiot studies.

P. Aaron on October 25, 2009 at 8:53 am

You can do the chores for me anytime Debbie. I’ll even bring home the bacon, er….Bread for you…Now that’s Kosher!

Real Men don’t do household chores. They make their wife or GF do it or else its asta lavista baby and don’t let the door hit you in the A**!

Rambo on October 25, 2009 at 9:33 am

A few years ago I met the most whipped guy ever. I lived across the street from him, and one day he was on the front wooden deck that led up to his house. His wife was also with him, except she was standing over him while he scrubbed the wooden deck on his hands and knees. What is even more funny anout this is that she was about 8 months pregnant, so there is this pregnant women barking out orders to this guy like a drill instructor over a recruit who did something stupid and was now paying the price. I really couldn’t make out what she was saying or how long this lasted, but this scene lasted me about 2 beers and many laughs.

Jarhead on October 25, 2009 at 11:03 am

I think it’s been my Navy disciplines that have always told me that housework is shared between a couple. I actually enjoy it. Nothing better to have than a clean home. My wife is a teacher and often ends up grading papers. Someone needs to pull the weight and often it is me. She, in turn, does the laundry. I hate doing that chore. My main chore is the floors.

John Rudolph on October 25, 2009 at 11:28 am

Debbie, I do take exception with you on this one. I am happily married to a man who helps out with the household chores, as we both work full time. We’re both tired when we get home, so one of us cooks dinner and the other cleans the kitchen. On weekends we do the heavier cleaning, and he always does his own laundry. I then help with the yardwork, mostly because I’m better at it and he hates doing it. We do this NOT because I require it, but because he wants us to be partners, which is what I think is the point of this article. During a period when I was unemployed, I did all of the household chores, because I believed it was the least I could do since he was working and I wasn’t.

I do agree, however, that there is nothing sexy about a man who does household chores because he is married to a shrew who bosses him around. When I was single, I met a few men like that. I had no respect for them, and did not marry one of them. My husband is a retired Green Beret, for heaven’s sake. NOBODY tells this guy what to do! Helping me leaves me less tired at the end of the day, and more open to “other activities…”

DG in GA on October 25, 2009 at 11:30 am

It depends on the situation. A lot of men have more stressful jobs then women do (and of course you can hate a man at work, even if they don’t like a woman they won’t say anything) and work longer hours so they do less at home. If that is the case and the women thinks the guy has it easy at work I think that is a problem.

adam on October 25, 2009 at 1:10 pm

That’s not the NON SWINE FLU CARRYING pork product baloney you smell Debbie… its “something else.”

Eat pork America, an American farmer will thank you, now I’m off to do laundry for my wife…

Not for sex mind you…..

Buffoon on October 25, 2009 at 8:22 pm

This thread could go on forever. I blame a lot of it on Cosmo. Cosmo and those trashy mags will teach decent women how to manipulate men for anything. Television also makes the fathers baffoon and inept without a woman. Also no-fault divorces in America basically said a women could bail on the marriage showing no fault by the man. Oh yeah who started the no fault divorce the Bolsheviks and Lenin. Religion used to define marriage now gutter Hollyweird values defines. Take the authority of man out of the family and the government replaces the male figure.

As for the correlation between more sex and housework. I guess the crude joke has some merit. “What is the most expensive piece of real estate? Between a womens legs.” I got a bunch ladies furious at me once when Michael Jordan got divorced and I said, “Michael Jordan should have just HIRED a wife. He could have put out an application with his stipulations and there would be a line 10 miles long.” Now he lost custody of his kids and $168 Million. He deserved the divorce but to say she is worth the $168 Million, give me a break. I guess pre-nups are necessary in some cases.

http://www.aceshowbiz.com/news/view/00012381.html

We are reaping what has been sown.

CaliforniaScreaming on October 25, 2009 at 8:43 pm

Debbie, I think you are taking this a bit too far. Things aren’t the way they used to be. My wife works as long and hard as I do. We both help out around the house. Yes, sometimes I even vacuum and cook. Not because she thinks it’s sexy but because it’s neccessary.

R: The question is really whether–if you didn’t do any housework–you would get as much sex from your wife or less. Still, you just made my point for me. No offense, but based on what you describe, there is no man or husband in your home. Just two unisex creatures with zero defined gender roles, with the exception of their genitals. That’s not your fault because it’s really what society has more or less pushed on families as the economy adjusted for women in the workplace, making a two-household income a necessity in many cases. Yup, this is what feminism and “equality” brought us. DS

Rob on October 25, 2009 at 10:28 pm

If it`s a traditional relationship ( man working/wife stays at home )then yeah, she should do all of the housework. Nowadays though both usually work, so it`s only fair the housework is divided up in those relationships.

hermster on October 26, 2009 at 12:51 am

I’m married with a 16 month old daughter. My husband works full time. I worked full time (and made as much as my husband) but quit to be a stay at home mom when she was born. Truth be told, I was burnt out and as far as I’m concerned, I get the better bargain! We get to have fun all day and my husband has to work. Not that he doesn’t like working. And I tell him, he did get an MBA from Michigan, so he has to put it to good use. 🙂 But if I waited to have my husband do the housework, our house would be a disaster area. And for pete’s sake, he’s been working all day! I let him have fun with our daughter and I get some alone time doing the laundry or whatnot. I tell all my friends who also stay at home, do yourself a favor and find the money to hire a cleaning service every couple of weeks. That way you’re still keeping the house tidy but you have someone doing the heavy stuff so you can spend more time with your kid. Money well spent!

shortylion on October 26, 2009 at 1:48 am

Since this thread is still open, please allow me a second indiscretion:

Debbie is one of the HOTTEST BABES around. Read the “About Debbie” link above.
Beauty, brains, body – Wow, a “male-chauvinist” dream come true.

Probably not one “feminist” in the world can get for a guy that will do the following:

Die in a second protecting women, children, and elderly.

Jew Lover on October 26, 2009 at 5:25 am

I’ve been married for 24 years and my husband doesn’t do housecleaning, I do. And I hate it, but it’s a necessary evil. So I’ve devised a system that works for me and requires as little time possible doing this dreadful chore. On the flip side, if something breaks, or we have electrical or plumbing problems, he knows it’s his territory and he’s right on it. As far as getting more sex because he helps out with the cleaning, what’s sexy about that? But surprising me with a piece of jewelry? Now you’re talking!

Suzanne Quigley on October 26, 2009 at 10:06 am

Let’s make it simple: If as a man you make enough money for your wife to stay home with the kids and clean, perfect! That means you bring money and stability to the relationship, and she takes care of the housework – I think that’s a fair trade.

BUT – For most modern couple’s, both husband and wife need to work – and since both are sharing the financial burden, it only makes sense to share the household burdens. Fair is fair.

All of you single people can rant about how that is not masculine, or that it equates to withholding sex for chores… but you’d be wrong. And will probably be single forever to boot.

Dont Tread On Me on October 26, 2009 at 10:44 am

I do want to agree that withholding sex in a marriage is wrong. It’s not healthy for either party. What I am saying is that there are reasonable circumstances where a husband and wife CAN share housework WITHOUT it be emasculating or the result of non-sex threat. (As in the dual income household.)

Dont Tread On Me on October 26, 2009 at 10:50 am

My wife will see me cleaning the bathroom when I see her in the steel mill.

Kazooskibum on October 26, 2009 at 11:06 am

Debbie, I agree with you on almost everything in this blog, especially the islamist facist warnings you keep ringing out. But on this one, I have to disagree with you. I do chores around the home, not because my wife threatens to withhold sex from me or badgers me but because while I work full-time, she also works full-time in the home with our son. Yes, she does a majority of the housework but there is nothing wrong with me pitching in and doing some things. I love to cook so it is easy for me to step into that role and prepare meals.

Just my dissenting two cents.

ExPat in Trini on October 26, 2009 at 11:10 am

” No offense, but based on what you describe, there is no man or husband in your home. Just two unisex creatures with zero defined gender roles, with the exception of their genitals. That’s not your fault because it’s really what society has more or less pushed on families as the economy adjusted for women in the workplace, making a two-household income a necessity in many cases. Yup, this is what feminism and “equality” brought us. DS”

This is the CRUX of the whole article- a point I’ve never heard ANY politician address… the FACT that now there is often a NEED for TWO INCOMES just to meet normal expenses.

When I was dating my future wife, we agreed that one of us was going to be raising our children, imbuing them with OUR values, etc. Our children were NOT going to be “raised” by a barely-literate non-English speaker with kids in gangs or prison…

SO- I go out and work everyday, and we don’t have a BMW or big house in some hoity-toity locale, but we do own a house and I provide for all our bills and needs, including religious private school.

Doda McCheesle on October 26, 2009 at 12:04 pm

I believe life was better when men brought home the bacon and the women were women. When I was married though I did make sure he had 1 night a month to do the cooking for me(which was usually pizza delivered, but that was okay, no complaints from me). Once he made me a 5 course meal (slaved all day in the kitchen per his mom’s instructions) and when I came home I found that sooo sexy. Needless to say, he got lucky. Since divorced but I have had a thing for men who cook with/for me ever since. Guys, it’s a good one and romantic, but it should never be compulsory…

CJ on October 26, 2009 at 1:29 pm

“Rambo” is obviously a pimply-faced, obese, pale, code red-swilling and twinkie-scarfing, grown man living in his mom’s basement and never served in the military. Fact is, boy, that in the Army (you know, like “Rambo” the fictional character was a part of), cleaning, laundry, ironing, etc. is an important part of military discipline. Are you so stupid to think that soldiers have maid service? Not only do I highly doubt that you could ever find a “gf” who would do your cleaning, but I suspect that you have never even been kissed by a girl… well, not counting your mother.

DS_ROCKS! on October 26, 2009 at 4:08 pm

Debbie, I agree with your politics and your slant on muslims but when you say: “Personally, I wouldn’t find a guy who would do housework and chores for me very sexy.” I think either you’re not married or not married very long. Love and kindness trumps sexy. I do many chores around the house besides repairing things and cutting firewood I also cook and clean. I do it to make life easier for my wife of almost 50 years. Maybe when you get older you’ll understand.

Nelson on October 27, 2009 at 12:09 am

This was a great article, thanks.

Horatius on October 27, 2009 at 1:53 pm

I’m looking for a Sugar Mama. Debbie you have a nice blog. take care of me.

Noah David Simon on October 29, 2009 at 2:36 am

the above comment… was a joke. I love you Debbie

Noah David Simon on October 29, 2009 at 2:37 am

I reposted this on my blog

problem is that most guys can’t get work… and the women shit on us. they take all the jobs. meanwhile affirmative action in the stimulus bill when the industry that is effected by job losses is men’s. the problem is getting worse, but the burden is all men’s

Noah David Simon on October 29, 2009 at 3:29 am

I work full time outside the home. My wife is at home with the kids. When I arrive home from work, my wife hands me a list of about 30- 50 chores and I get to work. Usually she kicks up her feet and relaxes while I begin working. I do all the house work, cooking laundry ironing and I wait on her hand and foot. I would not trade my life for anything. I adore serving my wife. I also ask my wife for permission before I watch any TV or spend any money.

rob on November 21, 2009 at 4:08 pm

This is funny. Debbie, an ambitious a college educated lawyer and columnist telling men and women not to blur their “natural” gender roles or suffer the consequences. What a riot. The minute she gives up her jobs (being an attorney is a traditional man’s job and until recently women were blocked from attending most law schools and journalism was, until very recently, run like a private men’s club) I’ll take her seriously. Debbie is reaping the rewards from the very feminist movement she has made a career out of bashing. Hilarious!

The Straight Dope Dad on December 19, 2009 at 8:48 am

Tell me when I’m working from 0700-2000 Monday – Friday and 0800-1200 on Saturdays PLUS taking three classes a semester and teaching an aerobics class twice a week why I have to do all the cleaning? Especially when I pay all the bills? My husband works 30 hours a week and takes one class a semester. What he does with his money is unknown, and it’s not going to kill him to help me out around the house. And yes, he does get laid more when he helps out because then I actually have the time and energy to have sex instead of coming home, cooking, and cleaning for two to three hours on top of my already hectic schedule. You need to get over yourself and get a “woman’s” job because you don’t deserve to be a so-called lawyer.

REALLY?!?! on January 22, 2010 at 11:32 am

Sure, I’ll do my share of the house work. Right after you help me haul these bundles of shingles up the ladder so WE can repair the roof.
I can wash the dishes while you’re rebuilding the transmission on the car, and I’d be MORE than happy to fold some laundry while you dig up the septic tank.

John on April 25, 2010 at 12:17 am

woah woah woah. Are you writing on the internet again? Stop this feminist bullshit at once and go make someone a sandwich and scrub some toilets. Women expressing their opinion, don’t make me laugh.

Kate on September 6, 2010 at 12:21 am

Well, my wife doesn’t work and I bring home the money. Even though we are partners she is one who runs the house. I have to do laundry, dishes, bathrooms when she asks. Not all the time of course because I have a busy schedule but I really like to please her and she is more happy when I do most of the cleaning.

Dan on September 28, 2010 at 4:33 pm

i like to be someone sissy male maid all the time and be tie up to and gag and blindfold to and rent me out some you can make money off of me .

Loney Galey on April 7, 2011 at 7:30 pm

I think what you meant to say is that being a bossy and shrewd woman is not sexy, and that being a cowardly, obedient man is not sexy. It’s not necessarily the actions of doing chores that equate to the level of sexiness. It is the attitude of those people.

Men who like to fix things around the house are sexy. Men who LOVE to cook are extremely sexy.

It’s all about the attitude of each party.

JCBB on August 2, 2011 at 11:18 am

As a married woman, I’d rather clean the house. It’s a lot easier than mowing the lawn, fixing the cars, trimming the bushes, fixing the decking, painting the shutters, etc. No thank you. I have it easy. Housework should include working on the house, as in fixing things. My husband does plenty of housework, but it’s usually on a ladder with tools and a hammer. I’d rather do the laundry, thank you very much.

Ann on July 21, 2012 at 7:36 pm

Actually, now that the law has been changed and only the woman has any say in sex, the man has become a begger for sex and she is the sole controller of how much he gets.
.
It is all about the matriarchy and giving women more power than men. If a man and woman are drunk and have sex, who is the rapist if a drunk person cannot consent?
.
The law has been written such that only men can be rapists and only women can be rape victims (and the penis has been defined as a rape tool). Women did not want equality, they want superiority (they sure arent fighting for equal rights).
.
Women prefer to have their men beg for sex (until their men get upset and go elsewhere where they dont have to beg).

Mad at Misandry on November 13, 2012 at 7:31 am

I am a South African-born woman of Dutch, English and Italian descent. When my parents came to visit me in my adopted city of Los Angeles in 1989, my father caught a glimpse of me cleaning out my kitchen sink one morning after I woke up before anyone else.

My father slapped me across by face and began screaming about how living in America has turned me into a “bleeding kaffir.” In my conservative white South African father’s opinion, a white girl brought up in the Cape Town Gardens district doing housework was the equivalent of a giraffe performing brain surgery, only far more offensive.

My father was so disgusted he tried to persuade my mother to force back to the Cape with them. I stayed in America, and today my husband and I both do housework simply because we believe in clean living and an orderly, middle class home.

Sorry dad, so throw me into the township, eh?

Marina Sargis on December 6, 2012 at 8:15 pm

Just because they found a correlation between more housework and more sex does not mean the men got more sex BECAUSE they did housework.

Maybe more housework and more sex are symptoms of someone with more energy, or of someone with more empathy for his wife.

Andy Hilder on June 11, 2014 at 10:41 am

When I first knew my wife she had allready been married and had two kids wich she whipped with a “martinet” french small whip with 10 30cm long tails on the handle and stings like hell!Then having kept this routine I was whipped too on my ass very hard if I got things wrong+I had to wear at house one of her nylon buttoned overalls + a plastic cap on my head,and even when her freinds came along I had to remain allways dressed up like that!+the long red marks on my buttocks and legs left by her childrens whip,Her freind encouraged her saying “Very good continu !at least your the one giving the orders for a change!+ she wears large clip on suspenders with a belt and when she whips me with one han she holds her suspender and with the other she just gives it to me with the martinet!Even her sister who is in the sams case as her applys the same thing on he husband so ther you go we are 2 husbands dominated harshly by our wives ,but but in the evening she makes everything up ,but at work at the factort the other women laugh about me saying ” oh you know that when he’s not a good boy he gets whipped and can’t go out and he has to wear her nylon buttoned housecoats too!

carmen gloser on May 6, 2017 at 2:58 am