By Debbie Schlussel

Spare me the holier-than-thou virtue signalling BS emanating from over the top drama queen, Greta Thunberg.  Could anyone be more annoying and full of crap? For the last week or so, the media has been fawning over the big nothing 16-year-old shrieking harpy, and it’s making me sick. 

Yesterday, it came to a loud, off-key crescendo, as media figures drooled over this very angry, unaccomplished, tool-ette’s speech before the U.N.  Barf.  Every time this ignoramusette opens her mouth, all I can hear is Veruca Salt–the spoiled girl in “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,” who exhorts, “Daddy, Daddy, I want a golden ticket and I want it now!”  If this angry-bitch-in-development is a sign of the “hope” of the next generation, it’s time to give up hope.  G-d help us.  I know I’m supposed to coo over her like everyone else, but I’m not gonna.  The people doing that are intellectually dishonest.

“You have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your empty words,” she screeched.  PUH-LEEZE.  You know whose dreams and childhood were stolen?  Anne Frank.  And all of the children, some of them my relatives, who were sent to the Nazi gas chambers.  The children of the Rwandan massacre and the Armenian Holocaust.  The children of Communist China and Cuba who have no human rights and worry about eating a full meal.  The lost boys of Sudan.  The Yazidi girls who were raped and impregnated by ISIS.  That’s who. And this spoiled, European, entitled brat is whining about anyone stealing her dreams and childhood?  To use her own words, HOW. DARE. YOU. If there were really ever an example of White privilege, this chick is it.

Of course, I know as well as you that this girl is being operated like a puppet by adults who won’t get the same “AWWWWWW” response from the media.  She hasn’t a clue.  It’s the users–probably her parents and whatever pinata chock-full of leftist groups funding her baloney–who are running the show.  Regardless a nice glass of STFU juice is best prescribed for her freakish condition.  What a bitter girl.

Never trust anyone from Sweden who tells us how to live and whines and glares.  Much less one who is all of 16 and has never done a G-d-damned thing in her life to speak of. Much less one who pretends that her stupid boat trip from Europe was “zero carbon” and had no effect on the environment, when in fact her “eco-friendly” trip actually involved a crew who had to fly to New York on a gas-guzzling airplane in order to sail her impractical plastic toy boat home.  This chick is a fraud.  Period.

Um, isn’t Greta’s country, Sweden the place where the Jews of Malmo all had to leave because their fellow countrymen wouldn’t protect them from violent Muslim bigots repeating the deeds of the Nazis?  Why, yes, it is.  Isn’t it the country that declined to have spectators in the stand at Malmo when the Israeli Tennis Team competed in the Davis Cup, again because the Swedes are too wimpy to protect the Israelis from Muslim activists and Palestinian terrorists who threatened violence?  Same country that banned an Israeli airline for security “profiling” so its planes don’t get hijacked over by terrorists and used as bombs?  Same country that sold North Korea anti-American blue jeans?  Yup, same place.  Greta, go back to where you came from, and clean up your own dirty laundry.  And shut the hell up here.  We’re done listening.

I had to laugh when this eco-hacktivist lectured the United Nations about how she was “forced” to miss school in order to garner the spotlight and cameras she so obviously craves.  “I shouldn’t be up here. I should be back in school on the other side of the ocean.”  Um, did someone put a gun to her head to come here?  Nope.  She did this because she’s a teenage attention-whore and drama queen who wants to be famous.  Nothing more noble than that. Go back to school.  Nobody would miss you and your faux-outrage.  Nobody.

Here’s a tip, Greta:  when the Muslim extremists you’ve let into your country are done taking over, there will be a different type of climate change that you should have been concerned with, instead of this utter silliness.  Come see me when you have to wear a hijab–or better yet, on you, a niqab (the full-ninja face-veil)–and you have to submit to rape and torture at will.  Then, maybe you’ll have a point about someone stealing your childhood and dreams.  For now, it seems like you are acting like quite the child.  So nothing has been stolen here.

Even if climate change were real–and that’s a matter of debate–and if we humans caused it–and, again, that’s a matter of debate (see the Ice Age, etc.)–the fact is that the Western world, even if we all signed on to the various accords and did as we promised, would only lower the Earth’s average temperature by less than a single degree.  It won’t make a difference. 

And since the world’s biggest polluters and enviro-unfriendly countries are India and China, why the heck is she here?  Why is Greta Thunberg here, other than to be a Thun in our side because she’s a leftist America-hater?  If she went to China, they’d send her back or imprison her.  If she went to India, they’d laugh at her and no-one would pay her much attention.  She knows she’s got a lotta suckers here in America.  And they didn’t disappoint in their obsequiousness.

One other thing:  I happened to notice that Greta has very long hair.  How much energy does she use shampooing, rinsing, and perhaps blow-drying it?  More than the average person, for sure.  Time for her to get a buzz cut.  After all, we wouldn’t want her to contribute to the stealing of someone else’s childhood and dreams just so she can keep it long, which doesn’t much improve the looks of that disturbing, angry, dour, Veruca-Saltish face.  You know how much energy it takes to produce the shampoo for longer hair, to sterilize, run, and heat the water to rinse it, etc?  More than I am using.  Hey, maybe I should go to the U.N. and yell and scream and whine and then make a dirty face at Donald Trump (or my preference, Sultan Blackface Trudeau) over it.

Also, that long-sleeved hot pink shirt she wore.  How much energy in an Asian factory did it take to make her garments?  Why isn’t she wearing shorts and a tank top?  Just asking. 

On Friday, the media covered all these kids around the world following her lead and walking out of class to protest climate change.  But most of these kids just wanted an unearned recess and a chance to leave school.  And of the kids I heard who said they are afraid to grow up in this world, I had to laugh.  Again, talk to the ghost of Anne Frank about fearing the future.  Other kids said they don’t know if they want to have kids and bring them into this world.  To those kids, I say, you’re absolutely right.  You absolutely should not spawn any future generations.  Thanks for the Darwin-esque self-selection, kiddos.

Dear Greta, please do us all a favor.  Get back on your boat and go away.  And, if we’re lucky, get eaten by a shark. 

Those of us on this earth who still have common sense are more than willing to forgive the carbon emissions (fancy talk for farts) that come out of Jaws on the other end.