By Debbie Schlussel

Since we’re getting closer to Thanksgiving, the new movies debuting in theaters today are getting slightly “better,” but still aren’t “great.” And, of course, it wouldn’t be a weekend of new movies without some gratuitous anti-Semitism thrown in, for good measure.

* The Accountant – Rated R: The idea for this movie just isn’t plausible: an autistic accountant for mobsters, criminals, and terrorists, who’s also an assassin with sniper shooting skills better than the late Chris Kyle, and who is also both a superhero and a villain–all while being an action hero. Oh, and he also has Batman’s very muscular body because the loathsome leftist whack job Ben Affleck made this in between superhero flicks. On top of that, add some not-so-veiled moral equivalence between Jews/Israel and Islamic terrorists. Yet, even with all of these things, the movie is somehow entertaining and suspenseful for about 2/3rds of it. Then, it turns into a complete mess and confusing tangle of absurdity even more preposterous than the original premise.

Oh, and by the way, the movie is just waaaay tooooo loooong. At two hours and eight minutes, it’s about a half hour or so too long. The movie has like five endings (maybe more). Each time you think it’s over, it keeps going and adds more unnecessary scenes. I have a rule: with few exceptions (such as “The Departed”–read my review), no movie should exceed two hours. It’s the conceit and egomania of the director that makes it go longer–thinking that his every superfluous shot, angle, and portion of dialogue needs to waste valuable life we’ll never get back. It’s also laziness. A good director takes the time and makes the effort to surgically thin out a bloated flick. Definitely not the case here. And that’s part of why the movie fizzles out. That, and the dumb plot turns that just aren’t believable or entertaining in the least in a movie where the main premise already isn’t believable.

The movie is laced with repeated scenes of not-so-sub-rosa anti-Semitism as we are repeatedly told that the main character is an accountant for terrorists, mobsters, drug dealers and other major criminals, and each time there are multiple shots of the Israeli flag and Chassidic Jews complete with a tallit (Jewish prayer shawl) and peyot (side curls generally worn by Chassidic and other very religious Jewish men). Get it?–The Jews and Israel are all just as bad and morally equivalent to the world’s worst Islamic terrorists (the word Islam is never mentioned), drug dealers, and Mafiosi. Funny how Islamo-panderer/”Islamophobia!”-whiner Ben Geza Affleck, whose middle name is that of a Holocaust survivor friend of his parents, doesn’t have a problem with that.

The story: Affleck plays Christian Wolff, a highly functioning autistic guy who becomes the accountant to the aforesaid gaggle of bad guys, helping them hide and otherwise launder illegally gotten funds. But he needs to have a legit client to cover up all his bad stuff. So, he takes a gig looking into missing money at a robotic limb corporation and meets accounting employee Anna Kendrick, who talks a lot. Soon, people at the company start dying. Oh, and did I mention that Affleck’s father is your typical stock Hollywood military father–a colonel who is cold, emotionally distant, and physically and mentally abusive with his “fend for yourself” tactics, despite his son’s mentally disabled condition?

In the meantime, a U.S. Treasury Department agent (J.K. Simmons) blackmails a Treasury analyst to find “the accountant,” identify him, and help capture him. (And while they don’t say it, he’s White and she’s Black, so you know what that means. RAAAAAAYCISM! And “White privilege,” too.)

As I noted, all of this is enough to occupy and entertain–complete with action and so on–until the last third of the movie, when it becomes a confusing jumble and incredibly stupid. Add to that some unnecessary torture porn scenes, and you got . . . nothin’.

In addition to my aforementioned problems with this film, I also disliked Hollywood’s standard “evil businessman” narrative. And I hated that the movie glorifies a killer, career criminal, and thug (Affleck’s character) and makes him into some sort of hero. He is not. Not even close. But hey, he’s autistic . . . so in our PC-dominated culture, we gotta redeem him. Right?

There aren’t any Asperger’s superhero movies yet (that I know of). But this is Hollywood’s foray in that direction.

HALF A MARX

Watch the trailer . . .

* Denial – Rated PG-13: I have mixed feelings about this movie, which portrays real-life “academic” Deborah Lipstadt’s court-fight against Holocaust denier David Irving in the UK courts. And keep in mind that the movie is based on a book she wrote, so it’s biased to her point of view of events.

The movie portrays Lipstadt (played by Rachel Weisz) as a valiant fighter for the Jewish people and even a strong supporter of Israel. She is neither. In fact–and this is never mentioned or even alluded to in the movie–Lipstadt is one of those many self-hating, anti-Semitic, anti-Israel Jews who love the Holocaust business as a profit center only less than they love siding with HAMAS and justifying Islamic terrorism against Jews in Israel. Yes, Deborah Lipstadt is not only an Israel-hater, but has often given justifications to Israel-boycotters. And she’s attacked Israel repeatedly when it responds to terrorist attacks. She would rather Jews give in and die quietly than fight. It’s a good thing she was not around during her favorite event in Jewish history–on which she’s built a lucrative career and persona–the Holocaust. And Lipstadt is also an eager and vigorous Islamo-panderer. She never misses the opportunity to attack Israel and use her Holocaust scholarship as a podium at which to present these noxious views. Lipstadt, while rightfully criticizing Jimmy Carter’s “Jewish Problem,” has her own Jewish problem. Therefore, I wish her a vacation in the Gaza paradise to see how much they care about her support of them and her scholarship on the Holocaust.

As the granddaughter of Holocaust survivors and the daughter of a mother born in Bergen Belsen, I loathe these Jews who obsess only on the dead Jews that decades ago became worm food of the Nazis. At the same time, those same Jews obsessed with the Holocaust victims, couldn’t care less about the living Jews struggling to survive amidst non-stop Islamic terrorism from today’s Nazis, the Muslims (who were also part of Hitler’s operation, comprising two SS divisions and eagerly promoting the quickening and expansion of the Final Solution via the Grand Mufti of Jerusalem, Yasser Arafat’s close ancestor). My late Holocaust survivor grandfather, Isaac Engel (Of Blessed Memory), felt the same.

I, myself, have been an object of Lipstadt’s Islamophilia, when she attacked my review of “A Mighty Heart,” the Al-Qaeda-less whitewash of the jihadist beheading of Daniel Pearl, starring Angelina Jolie. After initially praising and posting a link to my review, she subsequently removed the post and posted an apology (“I Made a Mistake” is the title) over the tone of my review to her few blog readers. Lipstadt was perturbed that I mentioned that Islam is completely whitewashed and Al-Qaeda completely omitted from the movie about the Wall Street Journal reporter who was murdered in the name of Islam by Qaeda terrorists because Pearl was a Jew. I wasn’t surprised by this, given Lipstadt’s frequent attacks on Israel. And her ire over my review should tell you something about Lipstadt’s alleged quest for accuracy and truth. In fact, these are things she despises, rather than zealously pursues (as alleged in this movie and in her career PR campaign).

That said, the thing I did like about this movie is that, for a legal drama, it very accurately captures what I and most trial lawyers get from at least a third of our clients when their cases go to court. They think they are better lawyers than the lawyer and that they know what to do and how to run the case, rather than shutting up and taking legal advice. They also think a trial is about getting their say on the stand and telling their story. It is no such thing. A trial is about winning, and that’s the only thing it’s about. It’s not about principle. It’s not about telling the world what happened to you or what someone did to you or airing your grievances against the adversary in the case. In fact, often those things will lose the case for you. And that’s how Lipstadt, according to the movie’s dramatized script, behaved until she finally–kicking and screaming–listened to them. I think the movie accurately portrays her obnoxious, loud pushiness and helicopter-style hovering, all of which, unfortunately, comprise a stereotype that does not describe all (or even most) Jews.

Lipstadt wrote a book exposing and debunking Holocaust denial and deniers, including David Irving, the British Jew-hater and neo-Nazi darling. Irving filed a defamation suit in England against Lipstadt and her publisher. Lipstadt refused to settle with him, despite objections from others that fighting Irving would elevate the Holocaust denier and give him the attention he craved.

But fighting defamation in the UK is different than fighting it here in the States. Here, the burden is upon the suit-filer to prove that he or she was defamed. There, the burden is on the alleged defamer to prove that he or she did not defame the suit-filer. Given this, it was a difficult and arduous task for Lipstadt’s lawyers to prosecute their case without lending credence to Irving’s bogus theories. And they did not want–contrary to Lipstadt’s wishes–to put her or Holocaust survivors on the stand, lest Irving get a chance to make his case and further victimize the survivors.

The acting in this is excellent, especially on the part of Timothy Spall as Irving and the always good Tom Wilkinson as Lipstadt’s lawyer. As a legal drama, this is a good one, despite my problems with Deborah Lipstadt’s self-hatred. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that often Lipstadt and the Holocaust deniers are on the same side when it comes to their unwarranted, baseless attacks on Israel. They have an “excuse”: they hate Jews. The question is, why does Deborah Lipstadt also hate so many Jews?

If only she were forced to take the stand to answer that one.

Denial is the word that describes those who purport that the Holocaust didn’t happen. It’s also the word that describes Deborah Lipstadt’s frequent refusal to acknowledge the Jews’ right to exist, survive, and defend themselves in the Middle East.

HALF A REAGAN

Watch the trailer . . .