October 17, 2014, - 4:00 pm
Wknd Box Office: Fury (a/k/a Hating Private Ryan), The Best of Me, St. Vincent
The only decent new movie in theaters today is a Bill Murray flick–and even that seems like a kinda sorta rip-off of Bad Santa. What really galls me is the new anti-American Brad Sh-tt movie.
* “Fury“: More like, Hating Private Ryan. Or Defaming Private Ryan. If you go see this movie, the only Fury here is what you should be feeling toward the disgustingly anti-American filmmakers and actors who made this absolute garbage. This movie is extremely anti-American and makes our troops look like they were murderers, rapists, and thugs, as well as hypocritical religious Christian zealots. It made me very angry to watch this. America had the moral high ground in World War II. Our fighting men were good, and they were moral. But you’d hardly know it watching this crap. Yes, I’m sure there were a few bad apples, as there are everywhere, but overall and in the vast majority, we were–we ARE–the good guys, absolutely the opposite of what this absolutely sh-tty movie shows us.
In this movie, Brad Pitt (a/k/a Mr. Palestina Jolie) plays the commander of a tank unit, and he forces an innocent, naive typist (Logan Lerman) newly assigned to his tank to murder a German soldier who has already surrendered. Then, he forces the innocent soldier to rape a German girl, saying, “if you don’t take her into that bedroom, I will.” Other soldiers rape German women and take German loot. Then, they take the eggs some German women are about to eat, and they lick them all over. The Nazis were horrible, terrible scum. But you’d hardly know it watching this movie. In fact, the movie’s last scene, which takes up about a third of the movie, should be a scene in which you’d root for the American tank crew, fighting the Nazis with everything they’ve got left. But you’re hard-pressed to root for these scumbags you’ve seen behave so horribly.
Even the heroic storming of Omaha Beach and the Normandy invasion of D-Day is distorted and contorted beyond all recognition in this movie. As one of the soldiers in the tank (Michael Pena) tells it, the invasion was all about American soldiers murdering innocent horses that roamed free after German soldiers died. You see, he says that their job when the tank was in Normandy, was to come up to horses pet them and make them feel comfortable and then murder them. HUH? Was the this supposed to be the PETA version of World War II?
Shia LaBeouf’s and Jon Bernthal’s characters are stock Southerners in the eyes of Hollywood, especially the anti-Christian portrayal by LaBeouf. LaBeouf is a zealously religious Christian who doesn’t behave so Christian-like. Bernthal is a would-be rapist and thug toward every woman (and man) who comes along. Ditto for Pena’s character. These people are the scum of the earth, not the good, decent Americans who fought against the Nazis in real life.
My great-uncle Maurice J. Schlussel, a general who fought in World War II and became the U.S. Army’s chief medical officer over the South Pacific, and my grandparents who survived the camps, but lost everyone and everything, are turning over in their graves. They knew who the good and bad guys were in World War II, and this movie says the exact opposite.
The movie takes place in the closing days of World War II. The war is supposed to be over. But the tank, “Fury” is carrying on as the Germans haven’t completely surrendered and the fighting in Germany is ongoing. It was weird to see Clint Eastwood’s hot son, who looked–with his delicate, pretty boy features–like he was still modeling for Abercrombie & Fitch and not a World War II. But he is quickly killed off. In the meantime, the defamation of American soldiers who fought valiantly in World War II continues throughout this film. Oh, and by the way, in the end, the only good American soldier, the former typist, is saved by a “kind-hearted” Nazi SS Officer. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
Yes, there are a couple of good lines, such as when Brad Pitt tells the innocent typist soldier that “Ideals are peaceful, history is violent.” But none of those lines justify the defamation of American soldiers that comprises this long, slow, boring movie.
It makes me sick that Pitt has spent the last couple of weeks–with the full cooperation of the U.S. Armed Forces and the Obama Pentagon–hanging out with American soldiers and promoting this disgusting flick. Are our troops that stupid that they don’t get this is a slap in their faces and everything they stand for? Is the Pentagon that dumb, too? Or is this systematic demoralization by design?
Army proud? Not here. There is NOTHING patriotic about this movie . . . unless your “patriotism” is to America’s enemies. This movie is a disgrace. I’m sure, though, that it will do blockbuster ticket sales in the Middle East and Eurostan.
PLEASE. SKIP. THIS.
FOUR MARXES PLUS FOUR OBAMAS PLUS FOUR BIN LADENS PLUS FOUR ISIS BEHEADINGS
Watch the trailer . . .
* “The Best of Me“: Oy. This predictable, sappy chick flick drivel was cheesy to the max and just laughable (in fact, I laughed several times when humor apparently wasn’t intended). One of the bad guys in the movie is your typical Hollywood defamation of the South. He speaks with a thick Southern accent, uses the word “boy” a lot, and dresses like a slavemaster, circa 1864, even though the movie takes place in the 1990s and the present.
This is yet another one of those cornball Nicholas Sparks romance novels transformed into movies. And, as in nearly every Sparks novel, there is forbidden love in which parents or some other force is trying to separate the two love birds. This particular movie is almost a carbon copy of another, far superior Sparks novel-turned-movie, “The Notebook.”
The story: a Southern teen boy comes has an evil, drug-dealer father who dresses and speaks like a slavemaster from the 1800s, complete with thick Southern drawl. The son, Dawson, is a good, smart kid, who wants to make something of himself and get away from his evil father and Dawson’s older, mullet-endowed drug-dealer, criminal-thug brothers. Dawson meets a nice, rich girl who hits on him relentlessly, and they fall in love. In the meantime, Dawson runs away from his father and lives with Tuck (Gerald McRaney), a benevolent older man and widower. But Dawson’s father and brothers won’t leave him alone, and they terrorize him and the girl. Tragedy ultimately strikes, and Dawson and the girl are separated and break up.
Now, it is 20 years later, and Dawson (James Marsden) and the girl (Michelle Monaghan) are brought back together by the death of their dear friend Tuck. Will they re-unite? I predicted every single thing that happened in this movie. It’s that cheesy and formulaic.
And a few more ridiculous things about this movie: the actors who play the young lovers look absolutely NOTHING like the ones who play them in later adulthood. It’s just silly. Moreover, 20 years later, which is supposed to take place in the present time, the evil father is dressed in a ridiculous wig and wardrobe that make him look like a fugitive from the early-to-mid ’70s. (He looked like Gary Cole, playing convicted murderer Jeffrey MacDonald in the TV movie, “Fatal Vision.”) I laughed really hard, even though, again, I wasn’t supposed to. And, finally, there were so many gratuitous shots of Marsden–and the guy who plays his younger self–shirtless, I thought I was watching the “Magic Mike” sequel. Again, cheeeeeesy. If ya gotta rely on cheesy chest shots, maybe ya got a week script. Just sayin’.
Cheese is fattening and high calorie. Skip this chick flick if you can.
TWO HUNKS OF CHEESE
Watch the trailer . . .
* “St. Vincent“: I had mixed feelings about this movie. It’s kind of a rip-off of “Bad Santa,” but I liked it a little better. On the other hand, I don’t like movies that glorify the Hillary Clinton/”It Takes a Village” baloney about what comprises a family. Plus the movie does kind of glorify a jerk. That said, I found the movie funny and entertaining, and I liked that the very weak protagonist turns out to be a war hero who did valiant things as a U.S. military man at war. And I liked how the protagonist teaches the young kid to stand up for himself.
The story: Bill Murray plays Vincent, a down-on-his-luck bum and misanthrope living in a working class New York borough neighborhood. He gambles, owes a ton of money to bookies (or loan sharks–you’re never really told which), patronizes a hooker who is also a stripper, and owes everyone money. Soon, he ends up taking care of the son of Melissa McCarthy, who has just moved into the neighborhood and works long hours. The son, in Catholic school, is teased and bullied, and Vincent starts teaching the kid how to stand up for himself and fight back. He also teaches the kid other life lessons, some of them not so appropriate, such as when he takes the kid to the race track and they bet on horses. Others are good, such as caring for and humoring Vincent’s wife, who has Alzheimer’s and is in a home for afflicted seniors.
Soon, everyone finds out about Vincent’s “babysitting” and he comes under fire, but the kid finds the good and heroic in Vincent.
Like I said, the movie was entertaining and funny and typical Bill Murray stuff. I also liked that the kid found the good in him and it was redemptive. I didn’t like that they all ended up playing, “We are the world” with the hooker. As I noted, I don’t go for this “It Takes a Village”/”Don’t Judge” baloney.
ONE REAGAN
Watch the trailer . . .
Tags: Fury, Fury Movie
Or, on the other hand, you could pop some popcorn and pour butter on it and salt, and download and watch the Riff-trax guys skewering “Hawk The Slayer” starring Jack Palance playing a bad guy.
I know what I’ll be doing.
Saw a review which liked “Fury” because it stated American fighting men come home depraved and unable to function in civilized society (Like Senator Inouye and Governor Foss, both of them Medal of Honor Winners, or Sailor Malan, who went from fighting Nazis to battling apartheid post war). Idiotic twaddle from a clown named Cole Smithey, I think. Just once, I would like to have American soldiers portrayed as what they were in a modern film: decent fellows fighting a completely depraved group of vermin in the East AND the West.
My two biggest military heroes from WWII are airmen: Paul Tibbetts and the completely brilliant Curtis LeMay. Close runner up is the magnificent Leslie Groves.
The great tactical geniuses of WWII are the almost completely forgotten Sargeant Cullin (inventor of the Rhino device), Leigh, who developed the “Leigh” light, and the magnificent British Boffin who developed the dam busting bombs.
My favorite Civilian heroes from WWII (other than The Sublime Winston) are Richard Feynman and Oppenheimer.
Debbie, why aren’t you listed on “Rotten Tomatoes?” You should be a top critic!
Occam's Tool on October 17, 2014 at 7:19 pm