By Debbie Schlussel

Joan Rivers is caught up in controversy for joking about something I pointed out a couple of years ago: that former kidnap victims are a fame-seeking “brand” you can’t touch . . . even though many of them are trying harder to become Kardashians than even the Kardashians.

I’ve covered the topic of kidnap victims constantly seeking the spotlight, even selling merchandise, and so on. I wrote about it in “Kidnapped Like a Kardashian,” and I was attacked left and right by defenders of these former kidnappees who sell their wedding photos to People, appear in fashion spreads, and try to create a brand. I was kidnapped and raped, now buy my stuff! It’s sad. And it’s sick. As I pointed out, it’s not like Jaycee Dugard or Elizabeth Smart are hurting for money. Both are now worth several million dollars (nearly $30 million in Dugard’s case). Yet, they write and sell books, products, and photos. (And Smart is ABC News’ “kidnapping consultant,” as if she’s some sort of law enforcement expert who will help you avoid your kid being kidnapped.) Enough, already.

Rivers was dumped by Norwegian Cruise Lines because she joked that, living with her daughter Melissa Rivers, she has less room than even the victims of Cleveland kidnapping victims of Ariel Castro (who were also raped). Tasteless, yes. Funny, not really. But it’s typical Joan Rivers stuff. And in our PC world, even she can’t say any of that anymore. Or so she’s being told. Rivers isn’t apologizing and, this morning on ABC’s yenta hag-fest, “The View,” she attacked Norwegian Cruise Lines and Norwegians in general, saying she won’t back down. But Rivers is a hypocrite because she backed down from calling Michelle Obama, “Blackie O” (a joke she plagiarized from this site), and said she would stop using it because it offended people. Yes, Rivers isn’t the anti-PC warrior she would have us believe. Still, America needs to get its sense of humor back and stop being so sensitive.

And, regardless of that, I’m tired of seeing these women who endured the horrors of Ariel Castro’s captivity. Aren’t you?

Yes, it is tragic, but they survived, and they got oodles of money in a settlement with the City of Cleveland, even though there is no evidence that the Cleveland Police Department “should have discovered” them–the whine that the kidnap victim industry’s lawyers constantly wail. It’s time to move on, retreat to private life, and live that life (out of the public eye). I don’t need to hear the details about this now-dead dirtbag captor of yours and how he raped you. I kinda get the picture. But Michelle Knight wrote a whole book about it, thinking the world needs to know every detail (it doesn’t) and–cha-ching!–cashing her big, fat advance check. This morning, she was on NBC’s “Today Show”–complete with garish red lipstick and multiple hideous face-piercings–pimping her new book.

And she’s all over the media telling us that she forgives her captor/rapist/tormentor. Do I care? Um, not really? Does she really forgive him? I doubt it. But, otherwise what else is there for her to say to make news after we’ve already had excessive wall-to-wall coverage of her kidnapping rescue and experience? Only a moron would forgive a person who tortured and raped her in captivity for years. Sorry, but kissing the other cheek is a foreign concept for me. A stupid concept. I wouldn’t forgive a man who stole ten or whatever number of years of my life and raped me in a basement. People who do are weak or just lying fame-seekers. I couldn’t give a crap which of these Knight is (probably both). I just wish she would shut up and go away, for everyone’s sake. Live your life (out of the spotlight). MOVE. ON. But, no, when she attends a Nelly concert, we all need to be alerted. Because, after all, she was kidnapped and raped. That’s why!

I wonder which idiotettes in America (and let’s face it–women are the ones buying these books and sustaining this silly industry) have the money and time to waste on this unfortunate murder of trees. But, then, I don’t ponder this too seriously because I saw the answer: the two-thirds who voted for Obama. They can buy this book and waste time on it, because you are busy working and paying for their ObamaCare, ObamaPhones, and other entitlements.

And this isn’t the first or last time we’ll see this woman. Every time Michelle Knight appears on stage with a band–and there have been several such incidents–I’m told about it in the newspaper. Every time she says anything or thinks she has something to say, she’s on the “Today” show on NBC or ABC’s “World News Tonight” or “20/20” or “Nightline.” It never ends. I don’t get the reasoning. I was kidnapped and raped, so now whatever I have to say has meaning and must be revomited by the media? Well, I guess that is the very definition of a Kardashian . . . other than the fact that in that family’s case the sex is voluntary, on film, and available for sale. In Michelle Knight’s case, while the sex wasn’t voluntary, the visuals are brought to you in writing in her book, also available for sale.

So, I’m not too worried about what Joan Rivers is saying or that she joked that, in a few years, Knight and the other two surviving victims of Castro will be on “Dancing with the Stars.”

Don’t bet against that.

Michelle Knight has seen taste after taste of the spotlight. And, like the pioneers in the kidnapette brand industry, Elizabeth Smart and Jaycee Dugard, she’s gone from involuntary kidnap victim to very voluntary media seeker.

Here’s a tip: if you have a publicist, you cease to be a victim. Now, you’re just an attention whore.