February 14, 2014, - 8:58 am
Happy Male DREAD: Doghouse Risk Extra-Avoidance Day (a/k/a Valentine’s Day) 2014
Happy DREAD – Doghouse Risk Extra-Avoidance Day. Yeah, I know. The card, candy, flowers, jewelry, and eatery industries call it Valentine’s Day. But, as I note each year on this site, it’s not about love or even romance. It’s about obligation. And the obligation is strictly one way: men are obligated to give gifts and bring some flowers, chocolates and other lucre home or they have a high risk of being resettled into the doghouse for a loooong time. Working hard to provide for your family and raising your kids with respect and values–that’s love. Flowers and chocolates on a set, artificial day–not love. Just unwanted obligation. I see it every year on this day when I’m at the drugstore at the end of the workday and I see miserable-looking men feverishly searching for something to buy and bring home to gain re-admittance to the family abode–the home they paid or helped pay for.
I don’t need to go on and on about this. I’ve written about it many times on this site before (though I’ve posted an excerpt of one of my previous columns on it below). You get it. Today is Male Obligation Day.
So, to the many married or otherwise-attached men who read this site, Happy DREAD. Now, go out and buy some roses. (But not Islamic-terrorism-supporting Edible Arrangements!)
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Anyone who confuses what Hallmark tells you to do–and the expectations of females who don’t appreciate your hard work and caring 364 other days of the year–with love doesn’t know what the word means. Today is something you gotta do to stay out of the doghouse. It’s not something you chose to do. It’s an expectation you must meet or meet that fury far beyond what’s in store in hell, as the saying goes.
I’ve written about this every year (including here and here), and every year it’s the same. It’s expected. And the sheeple men do it because they won’t stand up and say, “Hey, does it not occur to you when I work 365 24/7 to put food on the table and keep our house heated, that that’s love?” Yes, I know, today, many women are the workers and make more than hubby. For the men in those relationships, I’ll bet today is that much worse. They already feel less of a man (if they’re honest), and now they must show they’re more of a man by buying something when their wife/girlfriend–the bigger breadwinner–holds not just the purse, but the purse strings.
So, for me, today is always an entertaining day. So predictable. It never changes. If there’s one good thing about Valentine’s Day, it’s the billions that get pumped into a very sour American economy. But it’s out of obligation and it’s an artificial one-day-a-year thing. Nothing impactful in the long run.
And the DREAD entertainment continues today. Though it gets old. It’s like Groundhog Day. Same old thing each year, only worse.
Happy DREAD, guys! Won’t you not be my DREADentine?
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One more thing: even though more and more women are far out-earning their husbands and significant others and more and more men are Mr. Moms and stay-at-home dads in our ever-more-wussified America, the obligation by men on Valentine’s Day won’t change. That’s the one “traditional” role (brought to you by Hallmark and Hershey) that remains stuck and hasn’t been blurred by our chickified, Oprahfied day and age. Women have been trained to have high expectations and tough and swift “disciplinary” methods for guys who come empty-handed on this day.
So, guys, you’re stuck with this one. You rightfully dread DREAD.
Tags: Doghouse Risk Extra-Avoidance Day, DREAD, Happy Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day
Thank GOD I DON’T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!!!
And if anyone heard what Facebook has employed, I just offended 1.3 billion people in the world by implying that I like women. Yup, can’t say that anymore, gotta keep all gender references, not just sexual orientation to yourself. That’s right, don’t even identify as a man or woman, ESPECIALLY heterosexual, etc.
But back to topic. Debbie, thank God for you, too, you know I really mean that. All 74,658 Standing Room Only fans in Debbie Schlussel Stadium are standing and roaring their approval at this column, and billions more around the world.
Alfredo from Puerto Rico on February 14, 2014 at 9:17 am