July 6, 2009, - 10:05 am
Men, the New Women, Alert: Skinny Jeans on Dudes & Male Muffintop Syndrome
By Debbie Schlussel
I’ve told you about the many efforts of the fashion industry to feminize men via clothing. Whether it’s the invention of a euphemism for hot pink–“man-genta“–or the presentation of “man corsets” at a recent Paris Men’s Fashion Week show, most of these efforts are ridiculous and won’t, thankfully, become a national trend for American men.
But there is one fashion trend I’ve ripped in the past that has sadly taken hold. And, unfortunately, two of the nation’s largest jeans retailers–Levi’s and The Gap–are helping it along. I can hear Levi Strauss doing revolutions in his grave.
And I say, PLEASE. MAKE. IT. STOP.
Just Say NO To Men’s Skinny Jeans & Male Muffintop
Doug Black has found himself in a tight squeeze more times than he cares to remember. One day, he got caught in the rain without an umbrella and was unable to run. When his colleagues sat in a circle, the 23-year-old English teacher from Portland, Ore., couldn’t cross his legs. And when he tried to jaywalk, while in Beijing for work, he couldn’t hop the median divider with his friends.
“I had to walk half a mile down the street on my own to use the crosswalk,” he says.
His jeans were too tight. But he has no plans to buy a looser style. “Discomfort comes with the territory,” he says.
Skinny jeans, with tapered legs and narrow-peg ankles, seemed like a flash in the pan when they appeared in stores a few years ago. They seemed more suited to women. Today, though, sales of men’s skinny jeans are going strong, and mass brands Gap and Levi’s are getting in on the action.
Explanations abound for why men would want to wear jeans that look so uncomfortable and impractical. Some fashion observers say skinny jeans’ tight hold on certain men stems in part from the wearers’ desire to show off their gym-sculpted bodies. Then, too, denim brands, retailers and men’s fashion magazines have relentlessly promoted skinny jeans. And pop stars like Justin Timberlake and Kanye West, by wearing skinny jeans, have given something resembling permission for style-conscious young men to wear them.
But men are discovering, as women have long known, that the style can be unforgiving. One sometimes must diet and wiggle, tug and stretch to squeeze into a pair of tight jeans.
Another unwelcome trend this ushers in and which this article doesn’t mention: the male muffintop (see photo above). Um, no thanks. Something I’d rather not see. There are a enough fat chicks displaying disgusting muffintop flesh. We don’t need fat men to do it, too.
As readers know, I’m no fan of hip-hop pimp Jay-Z, but I gotta agree with him here.
Dozens of groups opposed to men wearing skinny jeans have formed on Facebook with names like “Men Should Not Wear Skinny Jeans.” . . .
The rapper Jay-Z taunts skinny-jeans-wearing rappers as effeminate in his recent song “D.O.A.” Sample lyric: “You boys jeans too tight, you colors too bright, your voice too light.”
Right on. Seinfeld had it right, too.
Jerry Seinfeld poked fun at slim-fitting jeans in a 1996 episode of “Seinfeld.” The Kramer character barges into Jerry’s apartment wearing a pair of jeans so tight he is forced to adopt an unnatural walk. When Kramer has trouble taking off the jeans, Jerry tries to yank them off by the legs. The actor playing Kramer, Michael Richards, injured himself slightly during the filming of that scene.
Chick clothes on dudes–not only hazardous to your health, hazardous to the male gender.
If you wanna be a man, don’t dress like a girl.
Muffin top!
*screams*
I wish I could be that oblivious in regards to my appearance. They must be too good to use such an old fashioned device like a mirror. Perhaps a “the-mirror-is-your-friend” app on the iPhone or Blackberry would help. Nah. What was I thinking?
cirrus1701 on July 6, 2009 at 11:18 am