March 13, 2009, - 12:14 pm
Awesome: Start Your Kids on Tramp Stamp Tattoos While They’re Young
By Debbie Schlussel
I won’t repeat my columns on tattoos here, except to say that, especially on women, they’re sleazy. We know who the guy at the bar is gonna try to pick up–and most likely succeed in doing so–at bar time. The chick with the tattoo. It’s a cue. It says, I didn’t think twice about repeatedly stabbing myself with a needle and gloriously sporting a permanent scar, so I’m gonna be as easy with whatever else I get inserted into me.
Yeah, I know, not right for me to judge. Not for me to say that tattoos are the Official Mark of Skankdom or give out Darwin Tattoo Awards. It’s now “fashion,” “a trend.” Blah, blah, blah.
Well now, you can start your young toddlers and kiddies early with tramp stamps and tattoo “art.”
First, there’s Toys “R” Us. It’s bad enough they’re selling “Watchmen” lunchboxes to kids. But, now, as Cockeyed: Citizen reports the company is selling Tramp Stamp stickers, so your six-year-old can have a tattoo sticker just above her rear end. You know what tramp stamps are: the tattoos some idiotic women get on their lower backs to basically tell the viewer, “Insert Here.” They urge your daughters to “Collect All 10 Designs.” Excellent.
Then, there is the new line of “‘Miami Ink’ Ruthless and Toothless” tattoo clothes for toddlers:
Meet the latest targeted consumers of tattoo art: the pacifier set.
Four artists from the Love Hate Tattoo studio who came to fame through TLC’s Miami Ink reality series have launched Ruthless & Toothless, a fashion line for tots. . . .
”We’re kind of making it baby-ish,” said tattoo master and Ruthless co-owner Chris Garver.
Quick, get your kid hooked on tattoos to prep her for the real thing, when she gets “all growed up.” I hear Hell’s Angels is keeping a seat (and a bed at the hourly-rate motel) warm.
Can’t wait ’til your son grows up to look like Travis Barker or Dennis Rodman (or the various most-used-piece-of-equipment-in-the-gym women underneath them).
Aren’t tattoos a form of self-mutilation prohibited in Judaism? I can’t help but notice that few if any Jews have tattoos (of the “voluntary” variety).
There is NO Santa Claus on March 13, 2009 at 1:07 pm