Debbie:
If you found this comic/movie revolting (and I’m going to keep my opinion to myself here to avoid flaming from either side of the aisle), I would like to know how you view A Clockwork Orange. Both the book and the movie. In ACO, there is considerable violence, rape, sex, drug use, etc., but is hailed by many critics, both liberal and conservative alike, to be a great work of literature as well as a powerful movie.

/facepalm on March 6, 2009 at 4:45 am

Oh my dear sweet Jesus, how dare you post such filth on the internet? This is what’s wrong with America today, people saying whatever they want without thinking of the consequences. Debbie, I am appalled.

Bad Luck on March 6, 2009 at 4:57 am

Having read the book, and having read the comments, it would appear that the movie is a fairly good recreation. Which is to say, a caveat about what happens when conservatives follow their goals to a specific goal. Which in part is deciding which laws to follow. Of course, if you really think people are taking children to see an R rated film, then they too, are close to being Watchmen. And who, as the moral of the film asks, watches the Watchmen?

bardi on March 6, 2009 at 5:26 am

Lady, you really need to lay off the caps lock key. Without doing so, any well-reasoned argument you may or may not be making is totally lost in your Internet hysterics. Fail.

silmerin on March 6, 2009 at 6:27 am

Watchmen isn’t a kids movie.
And you know what?
If some stupid parents decide to take their kids
to an R-Rated movie, that’s their decision to make.
You’re a parasite, Debbie, feeding off the extreme reactions of your readers.

Teh Savior on March 6, 2009 at 8:15 am

Oh sweet jesus, this review is brilliant. It’s like you take some half retarded conservative housewife, make her think people care about what she says, then just let her loose. Oh wait…
Seriously, get off of my internets

Someguy on March 6, 2009 at 8:28 am

Ms. Schlussel, I have seen smarter creatures than you are running around a farmyard with their heads chopped off. You are the Poster Gal for Ignorance; the Miss Universe of Stupidity; the Valedictorian of Vapid U.

Hunter Tremayne on March 6, 2009 at 8:57 am

In addition to my previous statement, I would also like to inform you that I plan on going to see Watchmen this weekend.
Frankly, its not movies like Watchmen that I would be worried about hiding my children from, its people like you, who twist and distort the facts until the once visible truth is a muddy smear of its former glory.
The 9th commandment says “Thou shalt not bear false witness,” and honey, based on this review, I can tell, that you’re going to hell.
Watch, I bet you’re going to complain about my use of the word “Honey” as well.

Teh Savior on March 6, 2009 at 9:17 am

I want to make sweet hot lesbian love to you, Debbie! After we catch a midnight showing of Watchmen, of course. We can use that blue dong that looks like Dr. Manhattan’s weiner!

Connie Dobbs on March 6, 2009 at 9:43 am

What’s funny to me is that the critic here, Ms. Schlussel AND the angry fans responding to her review aren’t really helping either cause.
I find it hard to believe that this film is being marketed towards children or that parents who intend to take their children to this film are being misled. The examples given in your review indicate people to who KNOW what the film is about and simply don’t care. You can hardly fault the filmmakers in that instance.
You make mention of toys being created as proof of the filmmaker’s intentions of this film being marketed towards children. Sadly, I would argue that the toys are being marketed towards adults, most specifically rabid ‘manboy’ comic book fans, some of which have been posting in here.
Which brings me to my second point. The people who are going ‘well, of course it is incredibly violent THAT’S WHAT THE ORIGINAL WAS ABOUT’ are correct: the source material is incredibly violent, at times misogynist and yes, gratuitious. From skimming the comments in here, though, no one has really explained WHY the book is chock full of it. I will attempt to explain, as it appears you are not familiar with the source material and hopefully it’ll help you to understand what the film ought to be about.
Watchmen the comic book (which is what it was when it was originally released: a serialized comic that came out monthly and was advertised amongst other DC titles) was, above all else, about deconstructing the superhero and the various archetypes. People AREN’T supposed to find Rorshach ‘cool’ or a ‘bad ass’: he’s depicted very much as a disturbed head case and someone whom we ought to be uncomfortable around.
Dr Manhattan is the Superman type character: a foreigner who is above the concerns of the rest of the world. He is meant to question why is it that these god-like Superman characters in comic books should care at all about humanity. No idea why Moore chose to depict him naked, though.
The Silk Spectres…well, there are valid arguments that can be made about Moore being a misogynist and the characterization he has with both incarnations of these superheroines really helps to support that argument. But it could also be argued that they’re used to question the role of females in comic books, who have been (even now) depicted as ‘cheesecake’ characters, being nothing more than a set of breasts and an ass.
I think, too, that the TIME when this comic book originally was released should be taken into consideration: cultural acceptance and attitudes were far different 23 years ago than they are now, and seeing things like dogs chomping down the remains of a little girl or any of the other very graphic things that are found in both the film and the ‘sequential art’ (allow me this one stab at pretense, will you?) In a world that now has films like the Saw franchise, video games like Mortal Kombat, Grand Theft Auto and God of War, attitudes have clearly changed and the shock value and disgust that the viewer is supposed to feel towards what happens on the screen is simply not there.
Unfortunately, it appears that director Zack Snyder has opted to go the ‘kewl’ route with all the violence, without seriously examining WHAT their role was in the source material and WHY they are depicted. Instead, we get violence for the sake of violence, which is disheartening.
I do think that you are bang on with one of your criticisms of this film, though: pre-release marketing has really had this film ramped up to be a typical ‘superhero’ film, which it is something that it absolutely is not. Unfortunately, those who take their kids to the film without paying any heed to the warning labels have no one to blame but themselves.
Anyway, while I doubt that this helps to increase your enjoyment of the film, I do hope that it helps to further your understanding of the source material.
Signed,
An Intelligent Comic Book Fan

presilulz on March 6, 2009 at 9:55 am

The surname “Schlussel” sounds so dirty, skanky and depraved. Kind of like “Schlong” and “Schmuck.” I will not allow my children to read anything with that word on it.

Ofrah Wimpy on March 6, 2009 at 10:56 am

Debbie – I’m not sure what set you off about this film or why you felt the need to worry so much about it. I’m not disputing your contention that violence should not be glorified, that’s understandable.
But I don’t really see that this film is being marketed to kids in any way and if a parent takes their kid to it then that’s on the parent.
I don’t really know why you insist on insulting people for going to see a film, even one that you vehemently dislike. I don’t like the implication that everyone who does is a “moron”.
I feel you can’t even be argued with, your vehemence and anger towards the film and the people wanting to see it being so one-sided and lacking in understanding of anyone else’s point of view. An even handed approach in the future would go a long way, I feel.

Rock & Roll Ghost on March 6, 2009 at 11:13 am

you’re messed up, Debbie Schlussel, dangerous even.
don’t you ever come near my children.

the river on March 6, 2009 at 11:22 am

The problem isn’t the movie, the problem is stupid parents who don’t do research before taking their children to the movies. Get a clue.

minny on March 6, 2009 at 12:30 pm

Ms. Schlussel,
Please take a moment to read this. Not with the foaming, chomping at the bit, rage in which you have read other comments. Take a deep breath, read, and if you feel the need to reply, I ask that you dignify yourself, as well as me, with a response that is not written in all capital letters; that is a rounded, reasonable argument, as I hope my following comment is.
I feel that you are blatantly ignoring the fact that WATCHMEN, as a comic, was made for an adult audience. Frequently in our history comic strips and comic books have played the role of the Fool in our society, being able to tell the truth and make statements and commentary about the government, society, and the world in general – that would not otherwise be accepted.
While, true to form, the Fool is an entertainer, his role is far greater than that. He is able to point out flaws in life and society in a manner of supposed jest – a manner that was accepted in so much that, as Fool and entertainer, he would not be put to death for the things he said.
When I read WATCHMEN, I felt that this was a role it performed. It is a statement not merely about government or life, but about the essence of society and the core of humanity. The message of WATCHMEN is far greater than that of costumed heroes reigning power over people who have little. It is a message about peace and horror and humanity.
The greater story of WATCHMEN is a plea to look inside ourselves; to become aware of the fact that, throughout history and no doubt into the future, the only things that have ever brought humanity together, are horrors and terrors in life. Whether it be holocausts or terrorist attacks.
WATCHMEN tells us that we cannot continue to live this way. This Fool spits in our faces, it taunts us with the vile, petty, stupid things humanity has done and sure will do. It laughs at our misfortunes, and in the end it pleads us to better ourselves – to rise above what humanity has been and is right now, and come together. It asks us if we can look inside ourselves and see a betterment. Not for the sake of defense against a greater enemy, or so that we may gain forces to assure our own lives over that of others – but so that we can live in peace for the sake of peace itself.
It shows us this, asks us, begs us – and it shits on us what the consequences will be if we cannot achieve something greater. It tells us we are doomed if we do not do something now, if we do not rise above the past and present, so that the potential of the future may be brighter.
And, true, it is not pretty message. It is a message that is adult, and complicated – a message that is more often than not likely to be misunderstood. But it is in that quality itself that it is capable of getting past defenses, that it can be seen and spread and shown, and hopefully heard. Heard by enough people that it will make a difference.
You blame a comic for being too adult, when it was never intended for children.
You blame a movie for being marketed to children, when it is so obviously not for that audience.
Nothing about this movie begs to have children watch it. Nothing about the comic, the source, the marketing. It is meant to be a message for minds that can comprehend and understand.
At the very least it’s a nerd classic.
They’re not shooting for the tweens Ms. Schlussel, they’re going for every adult out of high school and still WOW’ing it up, reading DC and MARVEL, watching anime, and participating in fandom.
And that’s a large enough audience for anyone.
You just don’t need to market to kids once you’ve got the nerd herd. And every self respecting media marketing person realizes this.
– Anon
anonemailisanon@gmail.com

AnonIsAnon on March 6, 2009 at 1:36 pm

For someone that reviews films I would suggest you do some research into the film you are reviewing first. Watchmen is an R rated film for a reason so if parents take their kids to see it then that’s their problem, the toys only seem to be showing up at shops that specialize in comic book merchandising and the internet. In the film yes America triumphed in Vietnam but that is done for a reason but had you done some research on the source material then you would know this.
This film is violent and somewhat disturbing to some people but guess what, the world we live in is a violent and disturbing world so should we expect not to have this portrayed on screen?
If you went into this film expecting to see a traditional superhero film then that is your own fault for again not doing any research about it.
Peace out.

scooby on March 6, 2009 at 2:41 pm

Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout “Save us!”… and I’ll look down and whisper “No.” They had a choice, all of them. They could have followed in the footsteps of good men like my father or President Truman. Decent men who believed in a day’s work for a day’s pay. Instead they followed the droppings of lechers and communists and didn’t realize that the trail led over a precipice until it was too late. Don’t tell me they didn’t have a choice. Now the whole world stands on the brink, staring down into bloodly Hell, all those liberals and intellectuals and smooth-talkers… and all of a sudden nobody can think of anything to say.

Sage on March 6, 2009 at 2:42 pm

“Sexually progressive cultures gave us mathematics, literature, philosophy, civilization and the rest, while sexually restrictive cultures gave us the Dark Ages and the Holocaust.”
–Alan Moore

Sage on March 6, 2009 at 2:53 pm

I looked at the Rorschach blot. I tried to pretend it looked like a spreading tree, shadows pooled beneath it, but it didnít. It looked more like a dead cat I once found, the fat, glistening grubs writhing blindly, squirming over each other, frantically tunneling away from the light. But even that is avoiding the real horror. The horror is this: In the end, it is simply a picture of empty meaningless blackness. We are alone. There is nothing else.

Sage on March 6, 2009 at 2:56 pm

Does anyone else find it silly that she’s saying that an R rated movie might contain content that may be offensive to people who aren’t permitted in to R rated movies?
Whether or not you claim it was marketed towards kids, it has an R rating for a reason. If parents take their kids to a movie with a rating that tells you it isn’t meant for people under the age of 17, why is it then the movie’s fault for containing the inappropriate content that the rating warned about?

axim15 on March 6, 2009 at 3:07 pm

Everything you said about the movie is true. But that was the point of the comics and the movie. It is a violent anti-superhero tale. That if super heroes really existed, these are the kind of people they would really be. Calling people names for seeing something like this just shows how limited your own mind is.

Nishar on March 6, 2009 at 4:13 pm

Read about this post and couldn’t stop myself from swinging by and seeing what a complete lunatic you are for myself. Getting a great deal of pleasure imagining a million fanboys spontaneously combusting as they read your blog. Was it dictated or did someone transcribe it from the crayon on your padded walls?
Wonderful stuff.

rubber_necker on March 6, 2009 at 6:36 pm

You, madame, are a moron. You are the sort of knee-jerk sensationalist who uses a perceived moral issue to assert her own superiority; the same tub-thumping revivalist that the world has had to put up with for years.
Of course it would be stupid to take a child to an R rated movie. Parents don’t do this. Parents on the whole look after their children. Are you suggesting that parents are too stupid to decide what their children should watch? You can’t be, because that would be elitist stupidity, whereby you on your mountaintop can gaze down at those bellow you and be better. I hate to say it Debbie, but it is not movies that destroy children’s lives- it is their parents. No movie ever beat or abused a child, no movie neglected their child, no movie dealt drugs to children. These are serious issues that governments should deal with. Works of art, whether you like them or not, should never even come into the equation. And certainly not works of art that are rated for and aimed at adults.
In addition to this, you may wish to change your “Marx” based assessment criteria. Marx was a 19th century political philosopher and academic.
I understand that you want to say that this work is a piece of “commie” trash. However, Marx was long dead by the time his ideas came to mean the Soviet Union. In effect it would be like blaming Henry Ford for inventing the car and then 90 years later somebody you know dies in a car crash. For this purpose may I suggest the use of Joseph Stalin, who may have refered to his actions as communism, but was merely a dictator in the same vein as Hitler.
Also if you wish to call yourself a “reviewer”, try not to use phrases such as “stupid story”. This makes you seem like an illiterate hack incapable of producing analytical content.

Sean_McDonald on March 6, 2009 at 8:39 pm

Oh and Debbie. You scare me way more than a film ever could- just leave me out when you’re setting up the Fourth Reich film and book burning.

Sean_McDonald on March 6, 2009 at 8:42 pm

There was once a wise author: “TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.”
Fits perfectly for this whole site.

Some Guy on March 6, 2009 at 8:51 pm

Wow. I can’t believe just how wrong you got it.
The book was called by Time Magazine one of the 100 greatest novels of the last 100 years. So the term “moron” for people who see this isn’t correct.
What I would call moronic is someone writting that much without looking in to the source material. You bash the film for not being accurate on history, when that’s the whole point. What if these people existed in that time. This is obviously a “never going to happen” what if. But if we did have the power of a God on our side, do you think out world would be EXACTLY the same as the one we know right now is? And how boring of a story would it be if something like that DIDN’T effect us.
And the several parts you just got wrong about a movie you just saw is just enough to kill any credibilty you have on this issue. Regan was going to run for president in this universe in 1988, not 1998. We didn’t even have a presidential election in 1998. Why would they even be talking about that in 1985? The murdered super hero and her lesbian lover weren’t naked. Get this stuff straight. I had to skim past the rest of it after those two parts. I’m sure there are several other mistakes to be found.
And there are no action figures being marketed to kids. The only advertising you’ll see for those things is online to nerdy adults who put them on their DVD racks. You make it sound like this is the super dark PG-13 Batman Returns that came out when I was 6 and had Happy Meal toys.
Please, stick to calling in to Howard Stern and having Artie goof on your voice. At least that’s entertaining.

Ozymandias on March 6, 2009 at 9:03 pm

Debbie, I’m sure you think you are doing the public some service by reviewing this movie but that couldn’t be any further from the truth.
You absolutely should not go see another R rated movie again. Here is how Cinemark describes the R rating: Rated R for strong graphic violence, sexuality, nudity and language. Were you actually suprised when you saw strong graphic violence, sexuality, nudity and language? If so, your opinions are going to mean little since your comprehension is sorely lacking.
The only thing of any value in your review was the statement that: If you take your kids to see “Watchmen,” you’re a moron. However, we can expand that to be less specific. If you take your kids to see a movied that is Rated R for strong graphic violence, sexuality, nudity and language you are an idiot. That way your readers won’t be “suprised” the next time they go out to the movie and pick this instead of Hotel for Dogs.

Fiero Fuego on March 6, 2009 at 10:08 pm

Don’t all of you comic book nerds GET IT? IS IT NOT GETTING THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULLS?
YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT THE OUT-OF-TOUCH SUPER-CONSERVATIVE! NEVER!

Savvas on March 7, 2009 at 3:03 am

Hey, i dont know who you are or anything, but i had to sign up to this thing just so i could comment on how much i hate you. Your not a very intelligent person ma’ma. Your little “review” of the film Watchmen disgusted me. Im not a fan of this work of art, but i have read the novel and seen the movie tonight, and it was PURE ART, but thick headed over protective idiots like you just dont understand what art is. I havent seen any action figures or crap like that, if your refering to the action figures in the film, well i guess you really are stupid. There were used to establish the story, they dont actually exist. Oh and hey, IT SAYS RATED R! R, you dip shit, if parents take thier kids to it not seeing the R rating then they really are as stupid as you. Im sick of you frickin angry mothers not READING RATINGS AND THEN COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW BAD SHIT IS! Tell all your gossipie bitch friends that too! These film arent made by evil greedy corporations thier made by ARTISTs, (directors). I know how the film bussiness works sweetie, ive been in it for 4 years now!(actor and writer) The Watchmen is obvioulsy too high up for your intelligence level for you to comprehend it! That film said “Fuck people like you!” who dont see this as art but merely just EVIL shit that is to be banished to hell (hells not real stupid, grow up). Your the problem with this society, you want to shelter everything that is beautiful and fine about life. And you probably havent read this far into my rant, because your so illterate, so ill leave you with some advice. QUIT FEARING LIFE, REMOVE YOUR HEAD FROM YOUR ASS, AND GET LAID.

Alex Laing on March 7, 2009 at 3:10 am

Whoa i didnt even read all the hate comments you got! Jeez and you KEEP your views storng, so now your just stupid and IGNORANT. cool, go you!
But seriously, you need to get punched.

Alex Laing on March 7, 2009 at 3:17 am

I figured I’d comment again since.. you know, you didn’t actually watch the movie.
a. Silk Spectre didn’t sleep with Dan after sleeping with another hero. In fact, she got pissed and left Manhattan.
b. the “blue penis” didn’t flop at all, except in one scene.
Movie could have used some scene moving and cutting, but it’s the best evar comic book movie.
Now stop cursing at parents taking their kids to see a movie and thinking it’s okay to swear, miss high and mighty weirdo.

KP on March 7, 2009 at 3:47 am

I’m sorry, but you’re all fucking retarded if you sincerely thought this was meant for everyone. Just because a movie is tagged with “comic book” DOES NOT MEAN IT IS AIMED AT KIDS. Do some goddamn research on films before you throw money at your kids to go see a flick you THINK is meant for them. The most obvious sign of Watchmen not being for kids is the VERY BLATANT R RATING. The second big slap of realisation should be where the dude gets THROWN OUT OF A WINDOW in the TRAILER. If anything, Batman: The Dark Knight should have slammed some remnant of sense into your apparently pea-sized brains. Hopefully this movie will teach you to FIND OUT about a “COMIC BOOK MOVIE” before you drive your oh-so-innocent children (who are probably far from innocent as it is) to your local theatre.
FYI: Yes, I’ve seen the fim and read the graphic novel before it.

basherchick on March 7, 2009 at 4:29 pm

IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A WHOLESOME FAMILY FRIENDLY MOVIE YOU DUMB BITCH. DON’T COMPLAIN ABOUT THE SEX SCENES JUST BECAUSE NOBODY WANTS TO DO IT WITH YOU.

ima_diva on March 7, 2009 at 4:32 pm

Wow,
What an obtuse point of view. This “stupid story” just happens to have won a HUGO in 1988 so it must have done something right in order to received such an acclaimed award. Yes, it is being marketed as a superhero movie as the main characters of this film are superheros (what a coincidence).
Now as far as how it will affect the children that see this movie. This one is easy – Its a RATED R MOVIE. If parents want to let their young, easy influential kids see this without regard to the movie rating – THEY’RE BAD PARENTS ! !. They need to accept responsibility for they’re own actions and stop trying to blame everyone but themselves for their shortcomings.
Are their gruesome and disturbing scenes in this movie? YES, but no worse than seen in a lot of today’s horror movies. Get over it. The source material has been out for over 20 years – should be no big shock for anyone that hasn’t been lazy enough to check it out already. Although i’m still trying to figure where the author of this article kept seeing this “swinging computer-generated penis” as the 2-3 scenes of Dr. Manhattan in the buff hardly had him swinging around his privates. It may have been visable but hardly even noticeable unless you were looking for it in.

Crusciendo on March 7, 2009 at 5:25 pm

Thank you so much for this informative post. I wasn’t familiar with the move or the graphic novel and now, thanks you to you, I am definitely seeing this movie.
Thanks again!

violentlyserene on March 8, 2009 at 1:21 am

I love that you keep replying to people’s comments by calling them names and giving poorly supported arguments, in all caps no less, like a message board troll.
Good job Debbie, you’re pretty awesome at this internet thing.

Sean on March 8, 2009 at 1:49 am

There are a myriad of problems with your review of this movie; probably the most glaring of which is that it was written by an idiot. I don’t really care one way or the other about the movie, nor do I care whether you, personally, liked it. Your rudimentary writing ability is an insult to prose, intelligence, and the Conservative agenda. Here are just a few easy examples I picked out of your poor excuse for a movie review.
“If you see it yourself, you’re also probably a moron and a vapid, indecent human being.”
I probably should have stopped reading when you opened with this line about a movie that you, yourself, watched. Way to premise.
“A few lines of dialogue by the character “Rorschach” deriding “liberals and intellectuals” doesn’t excuse the nearly three hours of poison here.”
Did you just actually reveal that part of the Conservative agenda is to condemn intellectualism? Wow. Just… wow.
“The lesbian make-out scene, featuring a ‘superhero,’ is bad enough. But then, we see cops looking over their naked, bloodied, dead bodies on a bed, with the words ‘LESBIAN WHORES,’ written in blood on the wall.”
Notice how you never do say that it’s wrong to brutally murder people based on their sexual identity, as long as it doesn’t result in having to explain to your kids what a “lesbian” or “whore” is. Congratulations.
“Wow, isn’t that cool that they got it wrong on purpose? I’m so amazed at this ‘high-brow art’ of deliberately getting dates and timelines wrong, you know, just to be ‘artistic,’ and get the drooling of the critics. That is sooooo genius. Like way totally cool.”
Just because you can’t wrap your brain around alternate timeline theory, it doesn’t make the thing that you can’t understand stupid. It just means you need to crack open a science magazine once in a while. You might learn something, but then we’ve already covered how intellectualism is evil, right? And if you’re worried about it, science can’t disprove God because God created science.
“Many scenes of Dr. Manhattan’s computer generated penis swinging about;”
You sure do seem obsessed about that big, blue penis. Any problems at home you’re not telling us about?
“Remember the morons I told you about who took their kids to see the latest ‘Friday the 13th,’ last month? Well, they were back with their kids at a Monday Night screening of this horribly depraved, whacked out movie.”
It’s never the parents’ fault that their children are exposed to things like this, right? It’s always someone else’s responsibility to protect our children, right? The fact that the pundits and politicians are telling parents that they’re not the problem is exactly the problem. Maybe the parents are being irresponsible, and maybe they’re resonsible enough to realize that their children are going to see the movie one way or another, so it’s better for them to see it with someone who can rationalize it with them than for them to rationalize it on their own. You don’t know which is the case, and I suppose that makes it okay to prejudge them as monsters, just like it’s okay to prejudge blacks as monsters and gays as monsters, because knowing the truth might challenge your beliefs, and you’ve already highlighted that intellectualism is evil.
If you ever have to wonder why the country is so repulsed by Republicans right now, take a good long look at all the idiotic and bigoted subtext you’ve shoved into this intellectually vacant movie review.

4JTV5 on March 8, 2009 at 12:31 pm

Wow, it’s like you completely missed the point! If parents are taking their small children to see this film, this is the fault of the parents, not Hollywood. Watchmen was NEVER advertised as a family-friendly film. The second you see Comedian lighting soldiers on fire, that’s a pretty good indication this ain’t the Fantastic Four. It’s rated R! That’s like, the biggest sign right there!
And even then, the opening sequence should be a big enough clue to get your kids and leave. I wouldn’t take a kid to see Pulp Fiction and I wouldn’t take a kid to see Watchmen. Heck, I wouldn’t take them to see The Dark Knight!
Watchmen is the story of a society where costumed heroes drastically changed the course of history. Nixon remaining president for over three terms is clue enough of this. The purpose is to get down into the gritty underground of the world and illustrate that not all conflicts are good vs evil. Unlike what Rorschach believes, there ARE spots of gray. Was Veidt right for staging an attack to unite the world? Was he right for killing millions to save billions? Or was Rorschach right for trying to expose the lie? That’s the point. Moral ambiguity. Who’s right, who’s wrong? What’s the truth?
Superheroes aren’t ALWAYS shining paragons of truth and justice. For every Superman, Spider-Man, and Captain America, we have a Punisher, Venom, and Deadpool. The Comedian is not a role model any more than Frank Castle is. The whole purpose of his character was to make the audience go “We’re supposed to put our faith in THAT guy?” He was deplorable, despicable, devoid of pity. We weren’t supposed to sympathize with him.
Rorschach was meant to be harsh. He saw everything as black and white. His infamous line, “Never compromise, even in the face of Armageddon.” He punished what he perceived as evil in the harshest way he could. His mind is warped, twisted. That’s the point of his character. It’s what makes him appealing. We get to see through the eyes of someone who believes he is the only sane person on Earth.
This is not a kid’s film, it never was advertised as such. You won’t see Watchmen toys at Burger King. You won’t see Watchmen: The Animated Series. Parents who take their kids to see it are foolish and it’s their own damn fault for ignoring the blatant warnings because they believe all superheroes must be kid-friendly.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I have a deep adoration for the champions of justice. I was practically raised on Spider-Man. His sense of morality, his compassion and determination to stand up for justice is a driving force in my life and a major influence on me. I love the heroes who fight to do the right thing, who risk their lives to save the day and beat the bad guy. That is the child in me. The child that stands up and cheers when Superman defeats Darkseid through sheer determination. The child that believes in good, righteous people.
Then there is the adult in me. The adult that realizes the good and righteous do not populate the Earth. That there are dark hearts. The world is not as beautiful as the cartoons and comics depict it. And with this realization comes the ability to accept it. The ability to look at something like Watchmen and appreciate the story. To appreciate the moral ambiguity, the gritty heroes whose sense of justice has been shattered, so that only a fraction remains.
It’s the adult in me that tells the child that the world may not always be fair. That hardships will come. But it’s the adult that also tells the child to never abandon their sense of justice and never stop loving. Because the world can be saved.
You, however, seem content on putting your child in a plastic bubble. Where no evil can get in. As such, your inner child is weak and frail. And that is why I am telling you:
Do grow up.

Rorschach on March 8, 2009 at 3:01 pm

It’s rated R for a reason. That should be fair warning ENOUGH to not take your kids. You, Miss, are the moron.

The Comedian on March 8, 2009 at 3:22 pm

So, does Debbie always not respond to her readers’ comments after the first day, or only when they have a good argument?

S_Johnson on March 8, 2009 at 3:50 pm

Also, any movie with Jimi Hendrix’s version of “All Along the Watchtower” can’t be bad.

Rorschach on March 8, 2009 at 5:45 pm

Debbie you are an ignorant cunt and you give the rest of the learned, conservative right a bad name. Please stop with your spoonfed rhetoric and return to activities you’re better suited to, namely cooking for your husband and popping out children for folk and family. 1599

CinemaDiabolica.com on March 8, 2009 at 10:32 pm

Hmmm, i like how you edit everyones comments and only keep the ones you like. Very communist of you. Propaganda. Except there is something called FREEDOM OF SPEECH! This is America, and not 1984. Oh wait I forgot you conservatives are all about crapping on the Bill of Rights.

God, Thy Master on March 8, 2009 at 11:32 pm

“If you take your kids to see “Watchmen,” you’re a moron.” Great way to start out the review with an insult.
“If you see it yourself, you’re also probably a moron and a vapid, indecent human being. The movie arrives in theaters at Midnight, Thursday Night. It’s rated “R”–which should kinda sorta be a hint–but it really deserves an “NC-17,” at the very least. And plenty of clueless parents brought their young kids and kept them there for the entire almost three hour “experience” at the screening I attended.” Maybe the parents weren’t clueless and knew full well what their kids were going to see.
“Yes, I know, it’s being heavily marketed as a superhero movie, with action figures for your kids. But that–and the heroic-looking movie trailer–are a big, fat lie. And that’s where real parenting comes in . . . like actually investigating the movie before you take or send your kids to see this garbage.” I think the action figures are actually for adults who collect such things. And the fact that it’s rated R should tell most parents all they need.
“In fact, as a movie critic who sees most new releases, I haven’t seen a more violent, depraved movie in years (not to mention a longer, more boring movie with a more preposterous and silly plot). This movie makes the graphic bloodshed of the recently released “Friday the 13th” look like “Cinderella.” Saw. Hostel. Grindhouse. Land of the Dead. 300. All are a thousand times bloodier than Watchmen. And just because you didn’t understand the plot, doesn’t mean it’s silly.
“This really isn’t a superhero movie at all. In fact, there was little “superheroing” until after the second hour of this nearly three-hour exercise on defining deviancy down. Some on the right are claiming this is a conservative movie because it’s made by some of the same people as “300” (read my review). But this is no “300.” (And that wasn’t for kids either, but this is far much less so.) A few lines of dialogue by the character “Rorschach” deriding “liberals and intellectuals” doesn’t excuse the nearly three hours of poison here. In fact, the movie kind of has a peacenik-themed ending and “message” regarding nuclear weapons. If this move is “conservative,” who the heck needs liberal?” It’s not a conservative movie. It’s not a liberal movie. And it’s certainly not a superhero movie. The movie may have a peacenik ending, but is there something so wrong about overcoming differences and not fighting each other?
Oh. Right.
“There were so many disgusting, violent, morbid, grisly scenes and acts of killing, I had to start writing them down, lest I forget. And that’s in addition to the rape scene between superheroes (complete with violent beating of a female superhero) and an explicit sex scene between two other superheroes. Oh, and don’t forget another superhero’s swinging computer-generated penis frequently in your face on-screen.” The rape never actually takes place. It’s stopped. As for the nudity and the sex, one could argue that things as natural as both shouldn’t be considered too bad, but this country seems to have a habit of viewing the act that creates life and the organs associated with it in a far worse light than the act of taking another human’s life.
“In just the opening credits of this mindless celluloid claptrap, there’s a lesbian take-off on the famous photo of a woman kissing a sailor in Manhattan who is returning victorious from World War II. The lesbian make-out scene, featuring a “superhero,” is bad enough. But then, we see cops looking over their naked, bloodied, dead bodies on a bed, with the words “LESBIAN WHORES,” written in blood on the wall.” What’s wrong with two consenting adults kissing each other in celebration of the end of World War II? Oh, that’s right. Lesianism is a sin. In that case, the scene with the two dead lesbians should have made you ecstatic.
“Mommy, mommy, what’s a lesbian? What’s a whore? And remember, this is just the opening credits.”
Well, the appropriate response to both those questions is that a lesbian is a women who likes other women, and a whore is someone who will have sex with you for money. Really, it’s everyday knowledge.
“The “plot” of this movie–if you can call it a plot–is that there were costumed superheroes in the ’40s and beyond. They grew old, but some of them didn’t. Then a new crop of costumed superheroes with special powers cropped up, some of whom were related to the older ones and some who still remained from the older group. But they all retired. Now, a superhero known as “The Comedian”–who is also a rapist and shot a Vietnamese woman who was pregnant with his kid (all of which we see depicted on-screen)–is murdered, and some of the superheroes, the “Watchmen,” get back together to find out who did it.” The only one who had special powers was Doctor Manhattan. In fact, none of the heroes are ever called ‘superheros’ except for Doctor Manhattan.
“At the same time, the Soviets are about to nuke America. It’s 1985 and Nixon is President. We’ve won in Vietnam. Oh, and Henry Kissinger has a Russian accent. And Ronald Reagan is thinking of running for President in 1988. Wow, isn’t that cool that they got it wrong on purpose? I’m so amazed at this “high-brow art” of deliberately getting dates and timelines wrong, you know, just to be “artistic,” and get the drooling of the critics. That is sooooo genius. Like way totally cool.” it’s called an ‘alternate timeline’. Cause sometimes, people like to think about what would happen if something in history happened a little differently.
“Maybe if I make a movie about how Eisenhower was President in 1972, we “lost” World War II, and Bin Laden was gonna bomb the World Trade Center then, I’ll be cool, too. . . so long as it’s “dark” and I include a bunch of rape, torture, explicit sex scenes, and extremely graphic killings, and oh, write a “graphic novel” a/k/a comic book about it, first.” The first thing about alternate timelines is to make sure they make some sense.
In the midst of this stupid story, we’re treated to the following:
* Dogs fighting over, tearing apart, and eating a six-year-old girl–we’re shown them chowing down on and tearing apart the remaining leg and leg bone, with the sock and shoe still on the bone as the dogs wrestle over it; (That’s what some child murderers do to destroy the evidence. Why sugar-coat the truth?)
* A close up of man repeatedly getting an axe-blade driven through his skull while he’s being butchered; (This man was the child murderer. He was getting what he deserved.)
* At least two very graphic scenes of naked superhero “Dr. Manhattan” vaporizing people to just blood, limbs, and guts hanging from the ceiling or spread in the snow; (Would it have been better if they just fell over dead? Either way, he kills people.)
* Many scenes of Dr. Manhattan’s computer generated penis swinging about; (It’s rated R for a reason. Nudity is implied.)
* A kid biting a giant, bloody chunk of flesh out of another kid’s face–he grows up to be “Rorschach,” one of the superheroes’ compatriots; (That’s to show his background, and to foreshadow the kind of person he would become.)
* A man’s hands and arms being sawed off with an electric saw–we’re shown the bloody stumps and the bloody sawed off limbs in close up shots; (Still not as bad as what you’d find in any of the Saw movies.)
* A man with vat of hot french fry oil deliberately thrown over his head–we literally see him fry, and he ultimately dies, we’re told (no kidding); (He was a murderer who tried to kill Rorschach, who got what he deserved.)
* Many, many scenes of people’s hands, arms, fingers being broken in half or crunched by the “superheroes”; (A popular method of interrogation even today.)
* Cops being set on fire and burning to death by superhero compatriot “Rorschach;” (The cop never actually dies.)
* Superhero “The Comedian” (a bad Robert Downey, Jr. look-alike) brutally beating and raping another superhero–tis movie concludes that the rape was a good thing b/c the slutty superhero had a slutty superhero daughter from him; (He never actually rapes her. And just because someone has more sex than you doesn’t automatically make them a slut.)
* Superhero “The Comedian” shooting and killing a Vietnamese woman because she’s pregnant with his kid; (This is to show the kind of person that The Comedian is–a violent sociopath.)
* Superhero “The Comedian” being thrown off a roof of a tall building–we see his body hit the ground and the blood flow out; (Just desserts.)
* Two superheroes have an explicit sex scene in a spaceship–she’s on top, then he’s on top, awesome–you can teach your young kids multiple sexual positions before they even reach puberty, by taking them to see this (there’s a less explicit sex scene between the slutty superheroine and another superhero not long before that). (Most parents today have hands. These hands can be placed over childrens eyes.)
“And these are just the highlights, plus superheroes hurling obscenities–great for the kiddies. There’s so much more–along with horrible make-up, bad acting, and terrible computer generated images (including the penis). Not to mention, a bad, extremely slow, and boring script.” You keep mentioning kids. I went to see it, and didn’t see a single child in the theater. It’s almost as if you saw some kids in the theater you went to and assumed that kids were in theaters watching this all over America.
“Yup, this is the garbage that Rupert Murdoch’s Fox and Warner Brothers and Paramount are marketing toward your kids. All of these studios have a piece in this movie. And even thought the budget was just $100 to $125 million, because of a long legal battler between WB and Fox, the legal fees and pay-out make it such that they must recoup at least $200 or 300 million and make a profit. To do so, they are pimping the movie to all niches, especially your young kids.” This movie was never “pimped out” to kids. If anything, it was “pimped out” to fans of comic books and Alan Moore–a lot of whom happen to be over the age of 18.
“But just because shameless whores and crack dealers of Hollywood deal this stuff out, doesn’t mean you have to buy it and poison your kids’ minds with it.” You mean ‘the’ shameless whores and crack dealers of Hollywood. Also, the kids thing again.
“Remember the morons I told you about who took their kids to see the latest “Friday the 13th,” last month? Well, they were back with their kids at a Monday Night screening of this horribly depraved, whacked out movie.” You’re right. They should have taken them to see The Passion of the Christ, which only featured Jesus being tortured for almost the entire movie.
“Remember the White single mother who told me her ten-year-old son could see it because “he knows it’s not real and he knows the difference between right and wrong”? Well, she was back with her ten-year-old, and they waited in line for at least two hours with their free pass to get in to this screening, I’m told. I saw them walking out at the end.
Her son is going to grow up to be messed up. Don’t do the same to your kid.” Matter of opinion. Some children are more mature and capable of handling adult situations than others. Hey, I know some.
“And do yourself a favor, too. Save the ten bucks and the three hours of your life you’ll never get back. And the nightmares of some guy’s bloody, sawed-off arms and hands still clinging to the doors of a jail cell.” If you’re emotionally fragile enough to actually get nightmares from that scene, you probably shouldn’t be watching movies at all.
“I don’t just worry that this is the new superhero movie being marketed to your kids today. I worry about the ones that will be even more depraved a decade from now.” Again with the kids. Getting a little old now.
“G-d help this country (minus Hollywood).” What? Can’t even say the name of your own deity? I doubt He cares. I’m sure He’s more concerned with your lack of loving thy neighbor and all that.

MA-125 on March 9, 2009 at 2:26 am

I didn’t think people as ignorant and backwards as you still existed, Deb.
Thanks for crushing my faith in humanity.

Vanuch on March 9, 2009 at 2:29 am

If you take your kids to see “Watchmen,” you’re a moron
Well, we can agree on that at least. Such a parent certainly is not exercising their due diligence in what they choose to expose their children to.
First, the graphic novel is not marketed to kids; it clearly is marked as “16+”. The mere fact that it uses a “comic book” type format does not automatically mean it is suitable for children. If you don’t belive that, just check out some Japponese Manga.
The movie is not marketed to kids; it is rated R which clearly indicates it is not suitable for small kids and may not be suitable for teens. The comercials make it clear this is a dark story, and not your old-style typical “Superhero” movie.
(And the mere fact that there are action figures doesn’t mean it’s marketed for children either. You won’t find these action figures at Toys R Us, they are at the same comic stores that sell the “16+” comics and are not priced in a childs range. They are marketed to the substantial group of adults that collect this kind of thing.)
In short, anyone who takes their child to a movie rated “Not for Children” based on a novel rated “Not for Children” without doing any research (even a simple google would have brought up a lot of information) to find out why they are so rated is a total moron. Shame on you for being such a moron. When you chose to have children, you should act more responsibly than that.

Pat B. on March 9, 2009 at 2:51 am

* Dogs fighting over, tearing apart, and eating a six-year-old girl–we’re shown them chowing down on and tearing apart the remaining leg and leg bone, with the sock and shoe still on the bone as the dogs wrestle over it;
Yup. This was graphic and depraved. And that was the point. The scene occurred as exposition detailing how Rorschach, who is incredibly misanthropic and violent, came into being. The scene is designed to be horrific and to evoke a response that leaves one, if not exactly sympathetic to Rorschach, at least with some sort of understanding as to who and why he is what he is.
* A close up of man repeatedly getting an axe-blade driven through his skull while he’s being butchered;
Said man was the villain who fed the dismembered 6 yo to his German Shepherds. See above re: Explication of Rorschachís psyche.
* At least two very graphic scenes of naked superhero “Dr. Manhattan” vaporizing people to just blood, limbs, and guts hanging from the ceiling or spread in the snow;
I recall something very similar in one of the X-Men movies. Which had a PG 13 ratingÖ.
* Many scenes of Dr. Manhattan’s computer generated penis swinging about;
And? What was the problem here, exactly? The nudity was not salacious. It was quite possibly the most character driven nudity Iíve ever seen in a film. Dr. Manhattan is routinely naked because he is no longer ìof this worldî and has, for the most part, rejected the conventions of same. The lack of clothing is symbolic of Dr. Manhattanís lack of connection to humanity.
* A kid biting a giant, bloody chunk of flesh out of another kid’s face–he grows up to be “Rorschach,” one of the superheroes’ compatriots;
Again, said scene occurs as part of the explanation of how Rorschach became who he is: An incredibly violent, uncompromising, misanthropic vigilante.
* A man’s hands and arms being sawed off with an electric saw–we’re shown the bloody stumps and the bloody sawed off limbs in close up shots;
This was incredibly violent and disturbing. That was the point. It was probably also one of the reasons the movie was rated 18A. And itís really not any more graphic or disturbing than anything that has shown up in a SAW movie.
* A man with vat of hot french fry oil deliberately thrown over his head–we literally see him fry, and he ultimately dies, we’re told (no kidding);
Yes. The bad guy was horribly maimed. Oh nos!
* Many, many scenes of people’s hands, arms, fingers being broken in half or crunched by the “superheroes”;
Bad. Guys. Because thatís the convention, you know. That the bad guys attack the ìsuperheroesî and get their asses kicked. Oh, and you missed the fact that the ìsuperheroesî (And weíll deal with that misnomer in a moment) routinely kill their attackers.
* Cops being set on fire and burning to death by superhero compatriot “Rorschach;”
So, you really, really didnít get that Rorschach is NOT a ìgood guyî in this movie?
* Superhero “The Comedian” (a bad Robert Downey, Jr. look-alike) brutally beating and raping another superhero–tis movie concludes that the rape was a good thing b/c the slutty superhero had a slutty superhero daughter from him;
No. He didnít rape her. He tried to. He was stopped. At a later date, the Comedian and his intended victimóthe original Silk Spectreóengage in CONSENSUAL sex (this is made VERY clear in the movie) and produce a daughter.
* Superhero “The Comedian” shooting and killing a Vietnamese woman because she’s pregnant with his kid;
He also killed Kennedy. Which might have been your first clue that, like Rorschach, heís not really a ìgood guy.î
* Superhero “The Comedian” being thrown off a roof of a tall building–we see his body hit the ground and the blood flow out;
Please. Iíve see then same thing airing at 8 pm on CSI.
*Two superheroes have an explicit sex scene in a spaceship–she’s on top, then he’s on top, awesome–you can teach your young kids multiple sexual positions before they even reach puberty, by taking them to see this (there’s a less explicit sex scene between the slutty superheroine and another superhero not long before that).
Or you could note that the ratingó18Aóindicates that anyone viewing the film should be far past puberty and not shocked by the idea that the woman can be on top.
Now letís deal with a few other things.
1. This movie is not, as is your contention, marketed to children. There are no happy meal figures. The action figures that have been released are not on the shelves at Toys R Us. There are no commercials airing during Saturday morning cartoons.
2. Your continued reference to the characters as ìsuperheroesî is false. They are not ìsuperheroes.î They never claim to be ìsuperheroes.î They are either ìCostume Heroesî or ìCostumed Vigilantesî depending on who is doing the describing. Itís an important distinction and your inability to grasp it demonstrates your fundamental misunderstanding of the film.
3. You seem outraged that these ìsuperheroesî do not act in conventionally superheroic waysóThey kill bad guys. They swear. They have sex. They are basely HUMAN in their appetites and reactions. And that is the point. These are not super powered mutants who have taken up the cause of humanity. They are not ìSuperheroes.î They are vigilantes who wear costumes–which really, is the definition of just about any ìsuperhero.î Unlike your traditional ìheroesî however, these ones have not been tidied up and had their more complicated aspects swept under the rug for public conception. Thatís not what Alan Moore was exploring, and itís not what Zac Snyder is putting on the screen. They are not interested in the bright and shiny Superhero myth. They are interested in the ordinary men (and women) behind the masks. They are interested in why they do it, in what could possibly impel a perfectly ordinary guy to put on a mask and some latex and go out to ìfight crime.î These ìheroesî are not simplistic idealizations of what we hope to be our best selves.. They are morally ambiguous nd refuse to be contained within the rigidly simplistic strictures of ìGood Guyî and ìBad Guy.î Like most human beings, they are both. They are men of clay, not steel. Adultsóthe audience to which this movie is gearedóare capable of understanding that. Or should be.
Was Watchmen a perfect film? No, it wasn’t. A lot of the soul out the original was stripped out due to the constraints that film making puts on storytelling. But it was not a depraved abomination, either, simply because it chose to explore difficult subject matter and moral ambiguity rather than simply serve up Good Guys in brightly coloured lycra beating up (but never hurting) Bad Guys in brightly coloured latex.

Irma.Geddon on March 9, 2009 at 9:53 am

Watchmen is intended for adults and mature teenagers (with adult supervision) that is why is has an “R” rating. It is intended as a warning against how morally corrupt society can be. It was never intended as a film for kids or a “typical” superhero movie. Of course Warner Brothers is going to advertise on high rated tv programs. But it is up to each parent to filter what is appropriate and what is not. The “R” rating alone should be a HUGE warning to all parents. That should tell parents–“Do not take your kids to see this. Or do you research before hand to learn more.”

bcd on March 9, 2009 at 12:33 pm

Watchmen is intended for adults and mature teenagers (with adult supervision) that is why is has an “R” rating. It is intended as a warning against how morally corrupt society can be. It was never intended as a film for kids or a “typical” superhero movie. Of course Warner Brothers is going to advertise on high rated tv programs. But it is up to each parent to filter what is appropriate and what is not. The “R” rating alone should be a HUGE warning to all parents. That should tell parents–“Do not take your kids to see this. Or do you research before hand to learn more.”

bcd on March 9, 2009 at 12:35 pm

i saw this movie last night and walked towards the end..couldnt take the repeated viewing of this stupid dr. manhattan penis..
if i had brought my kid to see this movie i would get my money back..hollywood is wacked to have this rated R..it should be x

Lee on March 9, 2009 at 1:18 pm