March 1, 2007, - 2:03 pm
How to Satisfy Duke’s “Diversity” Recommendations
By
In the wake of three white Duke University Lacrosse players being falsely accused of raping a black stripper, Duke has recommended a more diverse and inclusive campus culture.
Given that these men being falsely accused of a crime they did not commit by a member of another race and ethnicity, I have some ideas on how to make this situation and culture more diverse:
1) Three Black athletes should be falsely accused of rape by a White stripper;
2) Three gay hairstylists and home economics majors can be false accused of raping three lipstick lesbian strippers;
D is for Diversity
3) Three carnivorous male students should be wrongly accused of raping three lacto-ovo vegetarian, environmentalist strippers who wear Al-Gore t-shirts before they take it all off; and
4) While they’re at it, they must change the color of the Duke mascot. It must no longer be the “Duke Blue Devils.” Because, after all, Blue is a dominant, majority color and not diverse enough. So, annually, Duke must start using some of the underrepresented colors of the rainbow, so they can get their due. For 2008: The Duke Magenta Devils; 2009: The Duke Periwinkle Devils; 2010: The Duke Amber Devils . . . . Think about changing the Devils, too. Think, the Duke Magenta Ferrets; The Duke Periwinkle Peonies; The Duke, Amber Waves of Diversity . . . .
There. That’s diversity. And that should do it to satisfy this absurd recommendation that Duke address a crime that never happened by attacking the Whiteness and uber-plain Johnness of the wrongfully accused.
Tags: Amber Waves, Debbie Schlussel, Diversity, Duke University, lacrosse
“more diverse” just = “less white males”. They really want the campus to be even more liberalized, which means they will either make it look like what it’s not, or make it illegal to call it what it is.
Stealthkix on March 1, 2007 at 2:54 pm