December 16, 2008, - 12:43 am
Hey, PETA: Is a Snake w/Legs a Lizard or a Snake w/Legs and other Questions
By Debbie Schlussel
Hey PETA, methinks this Gumprechts Green Pitviper would make a very cool pair of stiletto pumps, purse, or wallet. It’s one of several new rare, exotic animal species just discovered in Asia’s Greater Mekong.
Or it since it’s green and a snake, it could be the perfect new HAMAS mascot, but I don’t believe in cruelty to animals (unless, of course, those animals are the HAMASniks, themselves).
In Asia, it’s “Snake . . . the Other White Meat.” So glad it ain’t kosher.
Speaking of the reptiles in HAMAS, just curious: Is this pic, below, of “Lygosoma boehmei,” a snake with legs . . . or a lizard that just happens to look more snake-ish than lizard-esque? Or is it simply Michael “Serpenthead” Chertoff’s view in the mirror, every day? Yeah, I worshipped the ground he slithered on, too. No, not actually. In my mind, this creature looks like the snake in Genesis before G-d cut its legs off, after it got Adam to eat the apple.
Since we’re talking about limp, twisted spines, no this isn’t the column in his back, it’s a spiny dragon millipede, “Desmoxytes purpurosea,” which produces cyanide in its glands. Let’s drop a ton of these babies on Gaza.
And then, to my friends at PETA a/k/a PUTAh (People for the Unethical Treatment of Animals and humans), there’s this portion of a cool, warm new jacket–an Annamite Striped Rabbit. Sorry, PETA, but I’d rather wear fur than be naked.
Reading you “Lima Charlie” on the comments about PETA, HAMAS and Chertoff. But, if you decide you want to be naked, most of us will not object too much.
rtaylor174 on December 16, 2008 at 4:32 am