November 24, 2008, - 1:20 pm
Your Day in Celebrity Baby-Naming Child Abuse
By Debbie Schlussel
You know my thing against people who name their kids weird–and let’s face it, mostly pretentious–names. It’s a constant on this site, because idiots naming their kids idiotic names is also a constant. (See my extended commentary on these absurd names and my rules for naming a kid.)
To name a few, there was Moxie Crimefighter (Penn Jillette’s daughter–Jillette and I sorta had it out publicly over this dumb name), Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee’s kid), and Apple (Gwyneth Paltrow). And then there are those people who named their kids “Track” and “Van Palin.” You know who they are.
Now, there’s the latest in this absurd contest for lifelong child abuse (or, at least, until they are 18 and want to go through an annoying, hassle-filled legal process to change it). Pop singers Pete Wentz (he of girlie-manish manner) and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz named their son, Bronx Mowgli Wentz after the jungle kid in the loincloth from “The Jungle Book.”
Just one question: Why?
These parents, like all the others that do this, are extremely selfish and attention-hungry.
I’m actually waiting for one of these brainless couples to name their kid “Rumpelstiltskin” or “Count Chocula” or “Lollipop Licker” (Lolli for short).
LOL: “Lollipop Licker” … Wanted to thank you for sharing your previous posting on ‘Rules for Naming A Kid.” I actually had a nurse, in a maternity ward, once tell me that a mother had named her daughter Placenta. I’m sure it seemed perfectly logical, at the time, if one waits until after birth to name their baby.
Jimmy Lewis
SCS, Michigan
Blog: http://rougerevival.blogspot.com/
Jimmy on November 24, 2008 at 2:43 pm