By Debbie Schlussel
Well, you didn’t exactly need to be Einstein or a rocket scientist to predict that no illegal aliens would take up the clueless Julie L. Myers a/k/a The ICE Princess on her silly program to voluntarily leave the country.
As I predicted, no-one took the incompetent chieftess of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) up on her “offer.” Shocker: Zero illegal aliens signed up to leave. Who’d-a-guessed?
I told you, last week, that aliens with final deportation orders have only a 1 in 20 chance of being caught and detained–that doesn’t even mean certain deportation.

If ICE can only locate and detain 31,000 of the 550,000, that means if you are an illegal alien on the loose with a final deportation order, you only have an 5.6% chance of being detained. And that’s being liberal. Illegal aliens probably have an even lesser chance of being picked up by one of ICE’s 84 fugitive teams.
With the 5.6% chance, that means ICE will only round up only 1 of every twenty illegal aliens with a final deportation order. If I’m an illegal alien in America with a final deportation order, I like my odds–A LOT!–and I’m not going to voluntarily leave . . . even if an airhead Blackface expert Valley Girl, who will be out of a job before I lose my meatpacking job, tells me I should.

Here’s some of the comical coverage of “The ICE Princess Had a Party & No-one Showed (Not Even a Blackfaced Costume)”:

No one showed up Tuesday as a new federal program encouraging illegal immigrants to leave the country began a two-week trial, and several illegal immigrants said there’s no reason to expect anyone will.
“I know people who have been caught and deported. But most are never caught,” said Robert Hernandez, a 28-year-old construction worker from Honduras who has lived in the United States illegally for four years.
“To turn yourself in so you can go home and live in a village with no work? If I wanted to do that, I would have stayed in my village. I wouldn’t have risked my life to come here in the first place.”
U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement launched Operation Scheduled Departure in five cities, and none found any takers by the day’s end. . . .
Angel Martinez, a 45-year-old construction worker from Mexico City who has lived in the U.S. illegally for 15 years, said most illegal immigrants will ignore the offer, especially as they “remember what life was like, how hard it was” before they moved to the U.S.
Martinez was waiting outside the ICE office while his 19-year-old son [DS: probably also illegal] visited a friend inside who had been detained by authorities after he was stopped for speeding and found to be an illegal immigrant.
“It’s stupid. You would have to be crazy,” he said. “Who would want to turn themselves in?”

Yup, things are so bad that illegal aliens have no prob waiting outside the ICE office in full view. They know nothing will happen to them.
BTW, I hear the FBI is giving up on investigating Cosa Nostra and is offering an “Operation Tony Soprano Turn Yourself In” program to emulate The ICE Princess’ great idea. Zero takers.