July 29, 2011, - 4:52 pm
Wknd Box Office: Cowboys & Aliens, Crazy Stupid Love, Sarah’s Key, A Little Help
It’s no surprise that the best new movie at the box office, this weekend, is an arthouse Holocaust movie. Judd Apatow and lack of creativity have ruined the silver screen, along with crap, liberalism, and he-chick flicks. I did not see “The Smurfs.” Here’s what I did see:
* “Cowboys & Aliens“: I love a good western (and I enjoy watching re-runs of the old Western TV series, “Wagon Train” and “Alias Smith and Jones”). I also love a good outer space aliens flick. The problem is this was a combination of two bad versions of both–a B-list western and a C-list alien movie.
The aliens were laughable and old hat, and I laughed out loud when I wasn’t supposed to. I really looked forward to this movie, but it was boring, stilted, unexciting, and a waste of time. Sorry. Also, not only is Daniel Craig a bad choice for James Bond (Bond is NOT BLONDE!), he’s a terrible casting decision for cowboy action hero. It’s not convincing to see Vladimir Putin’s doppelganger as an American cowboy. Sorry.
Oh, and the movie should have been called, “Cowboys & Indians and Aliens.” The premise is that warring Cowboys and Indians make peace and become friends over fighting outer space creatures who are kidnapping and killing them. Coming soon to a theater near you: “Jews & Muslims & Christians and Aliens.” That’s how simplistic, moral-equivalence-addicted Hollywood sees things. And that’s why movies like this stink.
Daniel Craig awakens with a bloody gash in his side and a large, space-aged cuff bracelet shackled to his wrist. He doesn’t know who he is. He comes to a small Western town, where he roughs up the hoodlum son of a wealthy crook (the wealthy crook is Harrison Ford). It turns out that Craig is a wanted criminal and he is arrested by marshals, who prepare to ship him and the hoodlum to another town to face justice. But, that night, space ships and giant alien creatures invade the sky and start destroying the town. They also swoop down and kidnap many of the townfolk.
Craig and Ford and a number of others, along with Olivia Wilde, join forces with American Indians to fight the aliens. In the meantime, Craig starts to discover who he is.
Believe me, I’m making it sound far more interesting than it is. It’s a flat, uninspired movie, and while it is not objectionable, it’s just not a good movie.
ZERO REAGANS OR MARXES – A WASH
Watch the trailer . . .
* “Crazy, Stupid, Love“: This is a chick flick. And the chick is Steve Carell. Chick flicks are bad enough. The ones in which the men are forced to be the sensitive, girlie-men are even more excruciating. It doesn’t help, either, that in the last third of the movie, it’s “Three’s Company”-style stupidity, with this person mistaking that person for having done this when he really did that. It wasn’t funny in the ’70s. It ain’t funny in 2011.
Yes, there were a few funny lines. But the only entertaining, funny part of this movie is when Ryan Gosling, a younger ladies man, tries to school Carell, the chick who’s been dumped by his wife (Julianne Moore) in how to dress and pick up women. The rest of the movie was painful to watch. And it seemed to go on forever . . . and ever . . . and ever. Waaay tooo loooong.
Carell learns his wife has been cheating on him with her co-worker, Kevin Bacon. She divorces him, and he moves out. A sweet man, he can’t make it in the dating scene, until Goslin starts schooling him. And while that part is entertaining, even that has its stupid, low-brow moments. Carell’s face on Gosling’s naked crotch–haha, funny. No thanks.
After Carell is schooled by Gosling in the ways of the pick-up artist, the movie goes completely kaput with a mess of melodrama, screaming, crying, yelling, etc. It’s just stupid, and a waste of time, including the side stories about a young lawyer (Emma Stone) and a babysitter.
Believe me when I say, the trailer for this is far more entertaining than the movie. Remove the words, “crazy” and “love” from the title, and you have everything you need to know about this movie: Stupid.
TWO MARXES
Watch the trailer . . .
* “Sarah’s Key [Elle S’appelait Sarah]“: This is a terrific movie. It’s part mystery thriller, part moving Holocaust movie, part detective sleuthing, and part drama. It spans a few generations and takes place both in Paris and New York. With parallel stories in the past and the present, it’s woven together like the plot of a great book. No surprise, since this is taken from the best-selling novel of the same name. I liked this movie because it explores the “innocent” French citizens who claimed not to know about the Holocaust but were tacitly complicit.
In contemporary Paris, an American journalist (Kristen Scott Thomas) married to a Frenchman is writing about French cooperation and complicity in the Holocaust and the rounding up of Paris’ Jews. As she investigates, she wonders about the apartment her in-laws have given her and her husband. It became available in 1942, and she wonders about the circumstances. Spliced into this story is the story of Sarah, a cute, young blonde girl whose family is Jewish and is rounded up by the Nazis. Sarah locks her little brother in a hidden compartment in the wall of their apartment, telling him not to come out, and that she will come back for him. Soon, Sarah is separated from her parents, who are sent to concentration camps. She sneaks out of the camp in an attempt to save her brother. We see what happens and what ends up of her life.
It’s tight and fast-moving. Never boring. You want to know what happens next. The movie is half in English and half in French with English subtitles. And the ending is very moving. Could have done without the one comment by a moronic character, comparing the Holocaust to Abu Ghraib and America in Iraq and Afghanistan. But, other than that, a great movie. Tight and well-orchestrated.
The message of the movie: we don’t always know who we really are. And when we find out the truth, we sometimes vehemently deny who we truly are. It’s sometimes shocking, sometimes sad. Sometimes, it’s a cause for joy because we are the product of survival.
FOUR REAGANS
Watch the trailer . . .
* “A Little Help“: Another movie I absolutely hated. A total waste of time. Jenna Fischer plays a Long Island dental hygienist in 2002, who believes her husband is cheating on her. Something happens, throwing her life into chaos. And her young son lies to everyone using a phony 9/11 story that she backs him up on. Fischer has an annoying, overbearing sister, whose husband is secretly in love with Fischer.
Not sure what the point of this movie is . . . other than to waste your time and money. Hopefully, you’ll read this and save both. You were forewarned. This movie was totally worthless.
FOUR MARXES
Watch the trailer . . .
An interesting point is that apparently the French have not yet written their own history of France under german occupation. Perhaps this is because, when all is said and done, more French fought for the Axis than the Allies in WWII.
Occam's Tool on July 29, 2011 at 5:10 pm