By Debbie Schlussel
Lots of interesting flicks debuting this weekend at the box, and three of them I actually liked. But I will never ever forget the scene seared in my mind of a morbidly obese Muslim in London having sex with (or is that on?) his wife. GUH-ROSS!
* “The Dark Knight“: This second installment in the Christian-Bale-as-Batman series is a great dark adventure, but too violent for kids. Read my complete review.
THREE REAGANS (Minus One Reagan for Extreme Violence in Movie Kids Will See in Droves)

* “Mamma Mia!“: More like Homo Mia. This truly painful musical aimed at women and gay men is a must-not-see tribute to slut-dom and single motherhood. Read my complete review.
THREE MARXES


* “Elsa & Fred“: Who knew that a Spanish film about two very senior citizens could be so charming and touching? Even if you hate chick flicks–as I do–you’ll enjoy this movie, which includes Rome and a tribute to a classic movie. The quirky Elsa and the uptight Fred are fun to watch, and it’s good to know that you can find love even in your life’s twilight. At arthouse theaters. In Spanish with subtitles, so you have to read quickly to watch.
THREE REAGANS

* “Tell No One“: A great thriller with a too-convenient ending, this French murder mystery focuses on a doctor who remains the key suspect in his wife’s murder. But ten years later, no-one is ever arrested and suddenly evidence starts pointing to him, even though mysterious online videos suggest his wife is still alive. So which is it? Is she dead? Did he kill her? Or is it all a set-up? With English subtitles, so if you don’t speak French, you’ll have to work. Well worth it, though the ending is slightly cheating. In arthouse theaters.
THREE REAGANS


* “Brick Lane“: Let me start by saying that the very unpleasant scene of a morbidly obese Muslim dude having sex on top of his wife will, sadly, be forever be burned into my mind. Offensive to my eyes in so many ways.
A Muslim village girl from Bangladesh, whose mother committed suicide, is married off to a VERY FAT British Bangladeshi Muslim. She moves to Great Britain, where she is unhappily married to the fat dude, who has repeated employment and money probs and is kind of a failure.
She has an affair with a younger Muslim guy who becomes a radical. In the meantime, her husband borrows money from a Muslim woman in the Muslim London neighborhood, and they have to pay exorbitant interest (interesting, since the Koran prohibits Muslims from paying interest and Muslims from charging other Muslims interest). The woman’s husband learns of the affair and doesn’t honor kill her. Yup, it’s fiction. And BOOOOOOORING.
Plus, aren’t you tired of movies showing Muslims around the world upset over the 9/11 attacks, especially since London Muslims–like the ones in this movie–continue to celebrate those attacks 7 years later? Like I said, it’s fiction. Ditto for the scenes in which we’re repeatedly told about and shown this mythical “backlash” that never happened to Muslims after 9/11–which, in this movie, is what caused Muslims in London to become extremists and terror supporters (even though they always were).
Again, FICTION. The only accurate line of dialogue in this movie is when the morbidly obese Muslim hubby shouts,

Why did Allah curse me with daughters?

Yup, ain’t it grand to be a Muslima. In arthouse theaters.
FOUR MARXES