By Debbie Schlussel
So, you’re a Muslim in America, living in America’s own little satellite of Hezbollah stronghold Bint Jbeil, Lebanon a/k/a Dearbornistan. And while you live here–legally or otherwise–you simply haven’t taken it upon yourself to learn English.
Well, if you’re like the rest of its customers having repeated problems with Comcast cable “service,” you’ll no longer have to worry. You can press ithnan [“two” in Arabic]–or, maybe, wahed [“one”]–for Arabic.

Dearborn Hezbo Call Center:
As-Salaam Aleikum from Comcast
I have some questions about this, such as why these people don’t speak English and how they’re able to stay here if they don’t. You must take the citizenship test in English in order to become a U.S. citizen. The only exception is if you’re mentally incompetent. So, how many of these uni-lingual, Arabic-only people are U.S. citizens, and whom did they pay off to either give them the answers to the citizenship test, let them skip it, and/or declare them “mentally incompetent”?:

In response to a burgeoning demand from the Arab-American community, Comcast is opening its first bilingual service center today to serve its Arabic speaking customers.
At 5070 Schaefer, just north of Michigan Avenue, the 3,360-square-foot office is aimed at serving a population that relies on Internet and digital voice functions to communicate with relatives and conduct business in the Middle East.
The office will provide information on the latest services and technology to Arabic speakers. The American Arab Chamber of Commerce, the Arab Community Center for Economic and Social Services [DS: Both of which openly support Hezbollah and HAMAS] and local politicians encouraged Comcast to open the center. The chamber conducted a survey to demonstrate the need.

Yup, I’m sure that “survey” was “reliable.” They’d never lie to increase their influence and shakedown a company for jobs and moolah. Nevah evah.

“We always try to make sure companies active in our community are accessible to our members,” said James Allen, chairman of the board of the American Arab Chamber of Commerce.
“This demonstrates the community is coming of age and that we have enough influence to persuade Comcast and other companies to be very interested in and very active in our community.”

Nope. This demonstrates shakedown capacity. ACCESS’ founder and former leader, Ismael Ahmed, idolized Jesse Jackson (and ran his Michigan campaign), so he and his organization learned from the best.

Comcast officials said that in seeking better relations with the many Arabic speakers in recent years, employees participated in training sessions with the chamber and ACCESS. The office will open with eight Arabic-speaking employees and expand to 16 over time.
“One of the key messages of that training was that, if you understand the culture, we realize we were not doing a good job of providing this community a place to do business face-to-face,” said Dave Buhl, senior vice president of Comcast Michigan. “The way we do business, traditionally, is from a call center or door to door, and both of those are not good matches for this culture.”

Al-Pander Bear award winner of the year?

Metro Detroit has about 123,400 people of Arab descent, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. But Arab leaders say the population may be more than twice that size, and uncounted in part because of language and cultural barriers.

Yes, how many are here illegally, “doubling” the figure?
Computer and cell phone technologies are particularly important to recent immigrants, who rely heavily on Arab-language news reports from the Middle East and use the Internet and digital voice services to communicate with relatives and conduct business overseas.
Yup, coordinating Hezbollah money-laundering ops with the buds in Lebanon and the banks in Kuwait needs a lot of Comcast support. Ditto for enabling access to the jihadist websites. Way to go Comcast.
If only we could keep track of who was calling Comcast’s new Arabic center, we’d learn the identities of a lot of immigration fraud perpetrators and illegal aliens who’ve far overstayed their “welcome”.
But we’ll never do that. It would harm ICE’s Abu Moskowitz’s (Michigan/Ohio ICE Special Agent in Charge Brian Moskowitz) chances for his next belly dance and extra-marital halal “shawarmeh” at Al-Ameer restaurant or the Bint Jbeil club.