By Debbie Schlussel

Not sure why everyone is so shocked that porn was found at the Bin Laden faux-mansion in Pakistan.  I’d be surprised if there wasn’t porn.  We know that Muslims are the biggest hypocrites and phonies on the planet, and that includes porn, of which the Arab Muslim world–as I’ve noted before–is the biggest consumer online.

The only person who really should be shocked by this is pseudo-conservative moron Jeff Jacoby, who lectured us  and the Bush administration about “Islamic modesty,” the most oxymoronic phrase and false concept ever.  Jacoby had a fit in one of his columns because the U.S. allegedly used attractive female interrogators at Guantanamo Bay and let their hair and breasts brush up against the backs of Islamic terrorists.  Jacoby instructed us all about “the importance of modesty” in Islam.  Yeah, because modesty ain’t important to Orthodox Jews or religious Christians, right?  Idiot.  I addressed this absurdity in “Sex & the Islamic Terrorist.”  I don’t care about their back-assward cult-like religion’s rules.  I care about America’s rules.  And, oh, yeah, Nidal Malik Hasan, the devout Fort Hood Islamic terrorist, loved those lapdances.  Schwing.

The best example of Islamic modesty is the patronage of prostitutes and strippers by the “Islamically modest” 9/11 hijackers.  Uh, “The Pink Pony” ain’t the name of the a mosque.  Then, there are the dueling Shi’ite Muslim strip club owners in the Detroit area, the Haidar and Saad families.  Yup, if you patronize “Starvin’ Marvin’s” or “The Landing Strip,” you are likely funding Hezbollah, perverts.  The owners of both clubs are Hezbos bigtime and some say the strip joints are conduits of cash either to or from the Islamic terrorist group.  They do millions in biz.  Where does the money go?  As one of my federal agent friends who used to investigate Hezbollah and HAMAS terrorist financing said, Hezbollah-supporting “religious” Shi’ite Muslims are to strip joints like moths to a flame at night.

So, here are some names I’ve thought up that gotta be titles of  Osama’s fave flicks:

*  Brokeback Ahmed

*  Whorence of Arabia

*  Packing Stan

*  Raiders of the Lost Camel

*  Desperately Seeking Sawsan

* Desperately Seeking Nasrallah

Hezbollah’s Girlieman Leader Hassan Nasrallah

(Nasrallah Girlie Man by David Lunde/Lundesigns)

*  Debbie Does Mohammed  [DS:  NO, Not this Debbie]

*  Debbie Does Mohammed II:  Still Only 2 Inches

* Anything starring young Macaulay Culkin, esp. “Culkin Macaulay”

*  Osama Does Yo Mama (& His Mama)

*  Seven Brides for One Brother

* Da Bomb: RuPaul’s Rainbow Jihad

*  The Halal Village People Come on the Hajj

* Evil Zionists Do It Better

* Barney Frank Fan Club Reunion

* Alhamdillullah [Praise Allah], Monica Lewinsky Reverted

*  Sheikh Your Groove Thing

*  I Dream of Ron Jeremy

* Janet Napolitano, Maul Cop

*  Department of Homeland Modesty

What names can you come up with?  (Please, no four-letter words or use asterisks or dashes.)