November 5, 2007, - 9:50 am
EEUUW! – Laurie David Award Finalists: Julia Roberts’ & Other Dumb Environmentalists’ Antics of the Week
By Debbie Schlussel
In the spirit of Laurie David’s (and Sheryl Crow’s) insistence that we limit our toilet paper usage to one-square per visit, I bring you dumb environmental activist recommendations and experiments of the week:
* Julia Roberts stirring toilet-soup made of used diapers:
In order to promote her soon-to-be-released likely flop, “Charlie Wilson’s War” (which denounces our involvement with the Afghanistan Mujahideen against the Soviets), Julia Roberts got USA Today to do a gushing piece, today–“Julia Roberts: The Greening of a Superstar.” In it, Ms. Roberts tells us how she contributes less to the world’s garbage:
“We make a lot of garbage. How can we make less garbage? This is our plight. I use Seventh Generation (chlorine-free, non-toxic) diapers for Finn and Hazel, and then I was turned on to the (plastic-free, flushable) gDiapers” for Henry. “It is flushable, but you’ve got to stir that thing! If you don’t really break it all the way up, it doesn’t go all the way down,” advises the multimillion-dollar leading lady.
Um, who really believes this prima donna is running to her bathroom every time one of her three young kiddies makes a doody and is stirring diapers in her toilet until they break up into pieces? If anyone is actually doing this–and I highly doubt it–it’s a personal assistant or her servant-husband.
Stirring diapers in a toilet bowl? You keep doing that, Julia. But no thanks.
Question: Since there’s lots of garbage created, each time they eat–much less make a move–on movie sets, did Julia Roberts stir the set garbage in her toilet . . . “to break it up” and make less garbage?
You keep lecturing us little people, “Pretty Woman.”
Oh, and don’t forget: This is the same woman who in 2000 said:
Republican falls between Reptile and Repugnant in the dictionary.
FYI, Roberts falls between Roach and Rodent in the dictionary.
* “Don’t flush if it’s yellow“:
Fans at Saturday’s University of Georgia homecoming game were asked not to flush the toilet . . . if it was #1 they were releasing. More info than I needed, but the slogan, “Don’t flush if it’s yellow,” was posted on signs in bathrooms all over the stadium, in an effort to conserve water.
Not really a new concept, since passengers were forced to do the same on the planes that the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine hijacked in 1970. You don’t exactly want to have to behave like hostage of Islamic terrorists when you’re at a football game.
Gee, I’ll bet the smell in there was just lovely. Gee, I have an idea for a new perfume: “Eau d’Hillary.”
* NBC Sports goes dark for a few minutes, expects you to go dark for a lifetime:
Last night, during the last minute of the kickoff show for NBC’s “Sunday Night Football” broadcast and during its Half-time and Post-game shows, the studio went dark to do its part for the Green movement. Yup, I love watching my sporting events with 25% of normal visibility, too. Thrilling. NBC Sports says this is an attempt to get us to turn out our lights, too. Hey, NBC, I’ll happily do that, so long as you do it the entire season, for the entire show, on all of your television shows, instead of as a few-minute BS publicity stunt. What’s good for the goose, is good for NBC, right?:
NBC’s studio show will deliberately go dark for the last minute of the show ‚Äî before fully lit coverage of Dallas-Philadelphia kicks off at about 8:15 p.m. ET ‚Äî and stay dark during the halftime and postgame studio shows.
“We’re thinking of having Cris Collinsworth wear a miner’s helmet with a light,” says show producer Michael Weisman, seemingly serious. “And have candles. Or maybe Glow Sticks.”
Weisman knows how this all sounds. “We’re opening ourselves up for ridicule and sarcasm,” he says. “It might be perceived as a stunt. But with 20 million people watching, some might say, ‘Let’s go turn out the lights in rooms we’re not using.’ “
Which is not something you’d expect NBC parent General Electric‚Äî founded by light bulb creator Thomas Edison – to be advocating.
But starting at 8 p.m. ET Sunday, NBC and its various cable channels begin a week of “green-themed” programming, weaving in environmental angles to all its shows.
To address that NBC “edict,” Weisman says, FNA will show satellite shots of U.S. cities “to show all that electricity being used,” turn its onscreen logos green and include Bob Costas talking to Matt Lauer, who’ll be near the north pole to report for NBC’s Today show next week. Says FNA analyst Jerome “The Bus” Bettis: “This week, I’m the hybrid bus.”
Gee, how much energy does Jerome Bettis’ gazillion-square-foot mansion use? Bob Costas? Matt Lauer? When they downsize, then I’ll consider doing something.
Tags: analyst, Bob Costas, Charlie Wilson, Charlie Wilson's War, Cris Collinsworth, Dallas, electricity, energy, FNA, FNA analyst, football, General Electric, Georgia, Green, Jerome Bettis, Julia Roberts, Laurie David, light bulb creator, Matt Lauer, Michael Weisman, miner, NBC, Palestine, personal assistant, Philadelphia, Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine, Pretty Woman, Roberts falls, satellite shots, Sheryl Crow, show producer, Sunday Night Football, Thomas Edison, United States, University of Georgia, USA Today
How about eliminating the Keith Olbermann segment, that would conserve plenty of wasted energy.
Yiddish Steel on November 5, 2007 at 11:19 am