October 15, 2007, - 3:55 pm
Popping the Question & Asking for Dad’s . . . Er, Whoever’s Permission
By Debbie Schlussel
In this day of the United States of Snoop Doggia, old traditions may die easily. But some don’t actually die. It’s just that the recipient of those traditions is dying out easily, or rather, kicked out.
The Boston Globe ran an extensive piece claiming that asking a woman’s father for permission to ask for her hand in marriage is out of style. Or is it?
What I got from the story is that now, since there are so few Dads allowed to be around, a guy must ask “More Masculine Mommy #2” for permission. Or Universal Parent a/k/a Single Mother/Donated Sperm Receptacle #1. Or Baby Momma “Fantasia.” It’s confusing, and a guy doesn’t know where to turn:
“No decent respectable guy would marry someone whose father disapproved,” says [Rev. Atu] White, 27 [of Bethel AME Church in Jamaica Plain]. “If she didn’t grow up with a dad, then speak to her mother or the closest guardian.”
You know what that means. If there’s no dad, which unfortunately, there often isn’t today, it’s the options above. For example,
Um, Uh, Large Marge, can I have your permission to marry your lover Susan’s daughter, whom she conceived with the sperm from Vial #ZX985791?
And here’s the other thing I learned: As far back as 1967, 95% of women were already gold diggers. According to author Stephanie Coontz, asking a father for permission to marry his daughter is “cherry picking” of tradition because:
“It has none of the old meaning,” she says. As late as 1967, she notes, two-thirds of college women surveyed, compared with 5% of college men, would consider marrying someone they didn’t love if other factors, such as financial stability . . . were in place.
Translation: By 1967, 2/3 of college women admitted they were gold-diggers.
Don’t attack me for noting this. I don’t make these sad statistics up. Just sayin’.
Tags: author, Bethel AME Church, Boston Globe, Debbie Schlussel, Stephanie Coontz, Susan, the Boston Globe, United States
First of all, I could give a crap about whether the dad approves of me marrying who I decide to marry. That tradition dated from a time when marriage was between teenagers and the man (er boy) would literally be asking a young girl under the father’s complete dominion for marriage. It is out of style today because most marriages occur between grown men and women who have been independent of their parents for some time.
JasonBourne81 on October 15, 2007 at 5:30 pm