By Debbie Schlussel
**** SCROLL DOWN FOR UPDATES ****
Sorry, but their “Superbowl Shuffle” does not stand the test of time. Looking back on it, it looks like a bad Chippendales routine. Ironically, the only guy that still looks cool is William “The Refrigerator” Perry.
As for the other guys, with lines like these, who needs . . . . Oh, forget it:
“I’m as smooth as a chocolate swirl.” ?!
Jim McMahon: “I’m a punky QB.” Or is that, “funky”? Either way, it’s definitely cheesy. Oh, and #45 (Kerry something)[correction: it’s Gary Fencik–see update, below], get out of the rap biz. Please:

**** UPDATE: An interesting response to my comments is that of Jay Marhoefer, lawyer for Islamic Terrorist Ibrahim Parlak, whom Homeland Security is trying to deport. Marhoefer believes that because I don’t know the name of a cheesy Chicago Bear from 1985 (when I was in 11th grade), my football knowledge is in doubt. I could have looked #45 up, but didn’t care enough to do so. And, hey, I don’t claim to be a football expert (I care about issues in sports, not players’ names). That’s Mel Kiper’s job:

— Jay.Marhoefer@lw.com wrote:
Subject: #45 on “Da Bears”…
Date: Tue, 23 Jan 2007 12:27:06 -0600
From: Jay.Marhoefer@lw.com
To: dschlussel@yahoo.com
. . . was Gary Fencik, six-time All-Pro safety. Yale grad–an Ivy Leaguer who made it in the NFL. Not much of a dancer, but man, could he hit.
As you purport to be knowledgeable of pro football, I thought you’d like to know.
John J. Marhoefer
LATHAM & WATKINS LLP
Sears Tower, Suite 5800
233 South Wacker Drive Chicago, IL 60606
Direct Dial: (312) 876-7602
Fax: (312) 993-9767
Email: jay.marhoefer@lw.com

He looks kind of puny for a safety. In 2007, I doubt he’d make the NFL.
**** UPDATE #2: Uh-Oh. Reader Ari says it looks like the ’86 Mets ripped off the ’85 Bears’ “musical masterpiece” and made their own awful rap, “Get Metzmerized” using what sounds like the same tracks. Writes he:

You pan the Superbowl Shuffle, and rightly so.
After reading “The Bad Boys Won” about the ’86 Mets, I learned that the Mets recorded their own Super Bowl Shuffle (On the second day of the season when they were 1-0. No, not the famous “Let’s Go Mets” from the end of the season, I mean “Get Metsmerized.”
If you think the Chicago Bears couldn’t rap, wait till you hear Get Metsmerized:
http://www.hiphopmusic.com/archives/002040.html
Trust me, the Bears were true artists compared to the Mets.
The background singers were a bunch of teenagers hired off the producer’s neighborhood. It’s comical.
Enjoy.

**** UPDATE #3: Can you believe these guys scored a gold record and platinum video award for the “Superbowl Shuffle”?! No lie.