By Debbie Schlussel
It’s the third day of 2007. But the ACLU thinks it’s still 2004.
Yes, our friends at the Americans for Terrorists’ Liberties Union are at it again. Only they can’t come up with any new material with which to attack America on behalf. So, they’re rehashing old material . . . from 2004.
The group trotted results of an internal FBI survey of Bureau agents and employees deployed to Gitmo about treatment of terrorist detainees held there. The ACLU obtained the documents in a Freedom of Information Act request. But the incidents described are old news. And keep in mind, the FBI does not conduct the interrogations at Gitmo. The military does, so FBI agents really are clueless on the topic.
Still, since the ACLU thinks it’s news–and thinks it’s torture, we present to you a quick quiz:
TORTURE QUIZ

Which of the following constitutes real torture?:
a) a Gitmo interrogator allegedly dressed as a Catholic priest and “baptizing” a Muslim prisoner, in order to get the prisoner to behave or provide information to stop further terrorist murders of Americans
b) a Gitmo female guard allegedly handling genitals of prisoners and wiping menstrual blood on their faces, in order to get the prisoner to behave or provide information to stop further terrorist murders of Americans
c) a Gitmo detainee allegedly spending hours in a hot room, in order to get the prisoner to behave or provide information to stop further terrorist murders of Americans
d) a Gitmo detainee allegedly getting his head wrapped in duct tape (points for creativity; marketing for 3M?), in order to get the prisoner to behave or provide information to stop further terrorist murders of Americans
e) an American named Nicholas Berg, Paul Johnson, or (insert name here of several innocent Americans–and foreigners) slowly disfigured, dismembered, and beheaded alive with a butterknife and without anesthesia, in order to make a lovely video keepsake to demoralize Americans and Westerners and recruit new members to the jihadist revolution

I vote for the last one. The rest are just sandbox games in the playground. But the ACLU would have you believe the last is no biggie and the first four–all of which are allegations by FBI agents not involved–are the real torture.
Again, the documents released by the ACLU are years old and are based on hearsay and allegations, heard third-hand (and possibly made up) by FBI agents who are not in charge at Gitmo and don’t really know what’s going on there (and are probably jealous that the military, not the FBI, is doing the job).
And the timing of the release is suspicious. This comes right after the Pentagon has asked for $125 million for a legal facility on Guantanamo Bay. The facility is needed to hold trials/tribunals there–you know, the legal proceedings the ACLU keeps whining and pining for.
The ACLU wants to stop the request from being pursued, it appears. So, they release this stupid hearsay-by-third-parties survey to nix the funding.
Hopefully, it won’t work.