October 8, 2010, - 6:01 pm
Weekend Box Office: “Secretariat,” “Waiting for Superman,” “Ghettophysics,” “Never Let Me Go,” “Kind of a Funny Story,” “My Soul to Take”
Sad to say, I really did not care that much for any of the new movie releases. But since I suffered through ’em, please suffer through my reviews (because of dueling movie screenings, I did not see “Life As We Know It”):
* “Secretariat“: This is billed as feel-good horse-racing/sports movie of the year. But it’s really a movie promoting feminism and the original Sarah Palin, Penny Chenery, the owner of Secretariat, the horse that won the Triple Crown in 1973. Chenery (played by the beautiful Diane Lane) abandoned her family and left to a horse farm for a long period of time to raise a winning horse. Was it worth it? Only if you think having a winning horse is more important than being there to raise your family. Chenery had four young children, and she wasn’t there for them. We’re shown scenes of her missing family events and talking to her kids and husband on the phone.
Chenery’s husband, Jack Tweedy, is, of course, the villain, because he has the nerve to want his wife home raising the family while he practices law. The nerve. But, predictably, he comes around to Gloria Steinem’s worldview and tells her,
You’ve taught them [their kids] what a real woman is.
PUH-LEEZE. She taught them what selfish, neglectful mother is. And that’s about it.
Even before winning the Triple Crown, Chenery proclaims,
I’ve already won by not quitting.
But, actually, she lost because she abandoned her family–her husband and four kids–for a horse.
In several scenes, we see Chenery’s daughter engaging in protests and “pageants” against the Vietnam War. And Chenery, being Hollywood’s version of world’s greatest mother, is very supportive of her daughter’s subversive activities while our troops were being murdered in Vietnam.
At the end of the movie, they show us what everyone is up to and has done since the Triple Crown. They don’t tell us what happened to the radical Vietnam protesting daughter, and I haven’t been able to find that info. Did she drop acid at some ashram, then become a far left activist? I wonder why they don’t let us know.
John Malkovich as the horse’s trainer is entertaining as usual. And the movie had super period costumes and clothes, which I enjoyed looking at, and they are well worn by classic beauty Lane. But the story is predictable and preachy . . . from the lips of the ghost of Betty Friedan.
FOUR BETTY FRIEDANS PLUS A SARAH PALIN
Watch the trailer . . .
* “Waiting for Superman“: Liberal propaganda “documentary” blaming the failure of America’s public schools solely on bad teachers and their unions and not America’s declining social structure. Read my complete review column.
FOUR MARXES PLUS AN OBAMA
* “Ghettophysics: Will the Real Pimps and Hos Please Stand Up?“: Not possibly the most moronic movie I’ve ever seen. DEFINITELY the most moronic movie I’ve ever seen. Some dumbass named E. Raymond Brown made a movie that seems like it was made by a Marxist sixth-grader hooked on hip-hop. It argues that because Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush, and Dick Cheney “are major pimps” and America is “a major ho,” therefore, the real pimps and hookers are just fine in what they are doing because they are a microcosm of the larger picture. Yeah, you keep telling yourselves that, scumbags. Irrelevant aging liberal Norman Lear manages to appear in this absurd baloney and, of course, gives lip service to this wacko “theory.” I feel I lost several IQ points during the course of forcing myself to watch this utter garbage. The only highlight is when a Black man on the street tells the interviewer that “Nancy Pelosi is also a pimptess [his word].” Why does Black America make these movies? And why does White America finance and greenlight them? Samuel Goldwyn is turning over in his grave knowing his name appears on this trash.
FOUR MARXES PLUS AN OBAMA PLUS A BIN LADEN
Watch the trailer . . .
* “Never Let Me Go“: Based on a novel by Kazuo Ishiguro, two girls and a boy grow up in a love triangle at an English boarding school at a time when all disease and illness has been eradicated. But a mystery awaits them. Who are they? Where are their parents? They soon learn **** SPOILER ALERT**** that they are actually clones of real humans and their purpose is to serve as organ donors for their “originals.” The message is that clones are people, too–a hackneyed old message that I saw in a million other films, like “AI: Artificial Intelligence” and others. Carey Mulligan stars, looking a whole lot like Michelle Williams. I found this movie long, slow, boring, and preachy. Wouldn’t waste ten bucks and two hours on it.
ONE MARX
Watch the trailer . . .
* “It’s Kind of a Funny Story“: Actually, it’s kind of a boring, slow self-absorbed story about which I didn’t care an iota. A neurotic, academically successful kid (don’t know his name and don’t care enough to check the credits, he was that entertaining to me) from a caring, loving middle class family gets depressed and decides to check himself into the hospital after he considers jumping off a bridge to commit suicide. Once checked into the mental ward, he realizes that he just wanted attention and is a self-absorbed jerk compared to those who really have legitimate mental issues (kinda like all the self-absorbed jerks in the mental ward in this movie). In the end, the Chassidic Jew on the ward eats non-kosher pizza (which–reality check–he’d never eat) and dances with the Egyptian on the ward to Egyptian music. We are the world. We are the children. The end. Next.
FOUR MARXES PLUS AN OBAMA PLUS A BIN LADEN
Watch the trailer . . .
* “My Soul to Take“: This Wes Craven horror film wasn’t screened for critics, and I should’ve taken the hint. But, out of dedication to you, my readers, I went to see the Midnight showing. After 40 minutes of forcing myself to sit through this dumb, unscary, imbecillic, waste of time, I finally walked out. Wes, you disappoint me. The story: a man with multiple personalities murders his wife, daughter, and a number of cops (that’s the only scary part of the movie). He escapes and was never found. On the same night, seven kids are born in his town and on their sixteenth birthday, they gather and are picked off by what appears to be him. It’s in 3D, but that didn’t help. Soooo stupid. Couldn’t take it anymore. Skipworthy to the max.
FOUR MARXES PLUS
Watch the trailer . . .
Tags: Carey Mulligan, Diane Lane, E. Raymond Brown, feminist, Ghettophysics, Ghettophysics: Will the Real Pimps and Hos Please Stand Up?, horse, It's Kind of a Funny Story, Jack Tweedy, John Malkovich, Kazuo Ishiguro, movie, Movie Reviews, My Soul To Take, Nancy Pelosi, Never Let Me Go, Norman Lear, Penny Chenery, pimptess, Samuel Goldwyn, Secretariat, spoilers, Vietnam War, Waiting for Superman, Wes Craven
Ewww. Looks like a very bad crop of movies! How painful it must have been for you to watch.
Karen on October 8, 2010 at 6:06 pm