By Debbie Schlussel

Quote of the Year:

We have better experience and expertise than the Mossad.

—Dubai Police Chief, Lt. Gen. Dahi Jacques Clouseau Khalfan Tamim.

[We interrupt this non-stop laughing fit with more commentary.]

Inspector Al-Clouseau:

World Fawns Over Inept Dubai Police Chief Dahi Khalfan Tamim

“Extraordinary . . . depth” of Dubai Police Hasn’t Caught or Even ID’d a Single One

Mahmoud Al-Mabhouh a/k/a Abu Abed, Rot In Jehenim [Hell]

It’s been more than four months since nearly a dozen assassins who may be Israeli Mossad agents did the world a huge favor by quickly clearing the planet of HAMAS terrorist and Palestinian smuggler of Iranian weaponry, Mahmoud Al-Mabhouh a/k/a Abu Abed, while he was staying at a Dubai hotel.  In those four months, Dubai’s Keystone Kops continue to play amateur hour and have yet to arrest or even locate a single assassin.

As I’ve noted before, that incompetence was rewarded with international accolades from Interpol and the Wall Street Journal.  Accolades for naming fake names:  Gail, Kevin, James, Mickey, Minnie, Donald, McScrooge, Heidi, Spencer, Brangelina, Fonzie, Scooby Doo, Carrie Bradshaw, Art Vandelay, and Jack Bauer.  Rumor has it that Sabrina Duncan, Kelly Garrett, Jill Munroe, and Kris Munroe are also soon to be on the list.  If that’s great police work, as I previously remarked, I hope they are assigned to my case if I ever commit murder.

Now, the Arab Muslim world is confirming their celebration of incompetence and that they don’t have much to offer us.  The Wall Street Journal–continuing to gush over this incompetent band of Islamic law enforcement idiots–reports that Arabian Business magazine ranked Dubai’s Inspector Clouseau-in-Chief, Dubai police chief, Lt. Gen. Dahi Khalfan Tamim, as No. 2 on its “Power 100” list of the world’s most influential Arabs, behind FOX News/Wall Street Journal owner, Saudi Prince Al-Waleed Bin Talal.

That should tell you something:  the Arabs’ biggest non-terrorist heroes are 1) an inbred prince with a penchant for funding Islamic terrorists through homicide bomber “Martyr Telethons;” and 2)  Al-Inspector Al-Clouseau.

So much money, so little accomplishment.

So what are the Chief’s achievements?  Aside from not finding a single person who killed a terrorist he was harboring, he’s also whined that the media exaggerates Dubai’s massive financial problems.  Yup, I want an idiot police chief who doubles as an idiot financial expert, too.  Don’t you?

So, since this is the second article appearing in the Wall Street Journal gushing over and heaping praise on an unpraiseworthy Dubai clown, I have to wonder what’s going on here.  Actually I know.  It’s all part of Wall Street Journal owners Rupert Murdoch’s and Prince Al-Waleed’s carefully orchestrated plan to expand their Muslim world media empire through pandering.  What a shame that in mentioning Prince Al-Waleed in the article, the Arab WSJ reporter, Majdoline Hatoum, didn’t note that the Prince signs her paycheck.  So much for full disclosure and objective, impartial journalism.

More:

Police Chief Lt. Gen. Dahi Khalfan Tamim has become the public face of Dubai’s globe-spanning investigation into the killing here of a top Palestinian official four months ago. . . .

Arabian Business, a Dubai-based magazine, recently ranked Gen. Tamim as No. 2 in their “Power 100” list of most influential Arabs, behind Saudi billionaire Prince Waleed bin Talal.

“The new generation of police officers in the Arab world look up to him as an example to be followed,” says Lebanon’s Police Chief Brig. Gen. Ashraf Rifi.

Yes, as an example of how NOT to catch criminals. In this case, it doesn’t disappoint me. Let the incompetence multiply.

Gen. Tamim says he hopes the world will view his officers’ work as a message that Dubai won’t tolerate being a battleground for governments, political groups or criminal gangs.

Really? Then why did Tamim allow this top HAMAS official and weapons trader with Iran to enter his country and live like a king? Clearly, there’s a lot of tolerance for it. The only thing they don’t tolerate is when Jews secretly enter their country–despite Dubai’s stupid ban on and boycott of Israel–assassinate a mass-murderer, and show the world that the Dubaians are fools.

“We have the expertise and the means to unveil any crime that occurs in Dubai,” he says.

Uh-huh. Sounds like Arthur Andersen accountants just before they, um, “audited” Enron. Israel is laughing at you. And so am I.

Gen. Tamim also hasn’t shied away from speaking his mind on other matters. During the height of Dubai’s financial crisis late last year, he accused the press of exaggerating the problems.

And here’s the money quote–the only part of the story that matters:

Dubai officials haven’t yet been able to apprehend the suspects in the Hamas killing. Dubai police say they fled Dubai shortly after the killing using fake passports, making their eventual capture a challenge. Still, Gen. Tamim says he’s satisfied with his investigation. “We have better experience and expertise than the Mossad,” he says.

Huh? Is there anyone in the world (including Tamim) who believes that rich fertilizer?

Are you smarter than a Hamza (Fifth) Grader?