June 27, 2006, - 1:33 pm
So, Lois Lane is a Single Mom . . . & a Slut: Notes on “Superman Returns”
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**** Scroll Down for UPDATE ****
So Lois Lane is a single mother . . . and a slut. That’s the most disturbing part of “Superman Returns,” heavily marketed to kids and in theaters tonight.
Or is that “Lois and Her Feelings,” co-starring Supe? That’s what this dull, 2-hour 33-minute long latest rendition in the Superman series seemed like.
A better version would have been more relevant. It’s great that new Superman Brandon Routh .
But put your money where your mouth is. In World War II, Superman’s comic book inventors had him fighting the Nazis. Today, they won’t dare show him fighting contemporary Nazis–Islamofascists. Lex Luthor working with Al-Qaeda terrorists, with both evil forces getting defeated–now that would have been dynamic and exciting, a great plot. But, unfortunately, too politically incorrect, current, and exciting for the Hollywood culturatti. Maybe that’s why “Truth, Justice & the American Way,” is now just “Truth & Justice (and all that other stuff).” Though, the studio didn’t have a problem lying to its prospective American audience by using the for the movie.
Some have asked whether Superman is still relevant post-9/11. He would be . . . if he were fighting the post-9/11 enemy and being a man while doing so.
Instead, we get a dumbed down, girlie-man version of Superman in “Superman Returns.” Like every sensitive, slacker metrosexual, Supe’s gone off for five years to “discover himself.” In the meantime, Lex Luthor gets out of prison because Supe failed to show up to testify at his trial. And the dullest Lois Lane ever has a child out of wedlock. Nice message to send to your kids who will be begging to see this. No smoking lectures by Superman and plugs for tofu sandwiches got a lot of play though. Script-writers were more concerned with that kind of health than the splendid problems single motherhood brings.
In what is more reminiscent of a Maury Povich “Who’s the Daddy?” show than a Superman plot, Lois apparently slept around and thinks the cutesy kid–very annoying and distracting in the film–is her fiance’s child, not that of the other guy she was simultaneously sleeping with–the Man of Steel.
Hard to still call him that, because in this film he’s far less muscular. Even the formerly bright red of his cape is now a muted, dingy brownish-burgundy. All masculinity is toned down, in favor of the testosterone of career woman Lois, who doesn’t believe in marriage. Too busy riding the space shuttle.
That hardly makes her spectacular. Kate Bosworth has nothing on Margot Kidder (aside from her far-left wackoism) or even Terry Hatcher. Their renditions of Ms. Lane were far superior. Bosworth’s is as ho-hum as the lady at the supermarket looking for her Clairol fix. The only thing that seems apropos is Lane’s Pulitzer Prize for her “Why the World Doesn’t Need Superman.” It’s the work of unethical journalism–a “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” manifesto by a jilted lover against her boyfriend.
In the real world’s Daily Planet a/k/a The New York Times, the “Pulitzer-level” stuff is “Why Al-Qaeda is Less Dangerous to the World Than President Bush.”
And by the way, there’s no Internet in this movie–a glaring absence when Lois’ editor is lecturing about what sells newspapers. Uh, nothing sells newspapers these days. They’re in rapid decline.
There are no memorable lines like the ones Margot Kidder’s Lois uttered to Christopher Reeve’s Supe: “You’ve got me? Who’s got you?”
More like, who’s got this movie?
With a $300 million budget, Warner Brothers must have a hit with this film. There’s so much marketing hype and so many product tie-ins, it will be hard for it to fail. And with newcomer Brandon Routh’s spot on impersonation of Christopher Reeve playing Clark Kent/Supe, he’s not as difficult to adjust to as Bosworth’s Lois. His imitation invites the comparison, and he doesn’t live up to it. Christopher Reeve can smile from the grave that he died undefeated champion of Superman portrayals.
“Supe Returns” writers also paid too much attention to the accuracy of minute and unimportant details, such as the fact that Kryptonite was found in Addis Ababa. But who cares about those things?
Is that more important than the messages projected to America’s kids–especially girls who may want to emulate Lois Lane? And is it more important than an exciting, believable, and relevant plot? Hardly.
Still, aside from its dullness and the poor examples it sets for kids, “Superman Returns” is a fun, escapist film.
But nothing to write home–or even, Krypton–about.
**** UPDATE, 07/03/06: .
Tags: Addis Ababa, al-Qaeda, America, Brandon Routh, Bush, Christopher Reeve, Clark Kent, Daily Planet, Debbie Schlussel, editor, Kate Bosworth, Lex Luthor, Lois, Lois Lane, Margot Kidder, Reagan Advisor, Superman, Superman Returns, Terry Hatcher, Than President, The New York Times, USD, Who's the Daddy?, World Than President
I forgot where I read another review, and I haven’t seen the film, but apparently even something as simple and patriotic as “Truth, Justice, and The American Way” was seen as too jingoistic. It has been written instead as “Truth, Justice, and all that other stuff” in order to appeal more to international audiences.
It’s a minor issue, but it’s worth noting.
SonOfTheGodfather on June 28, 2006 at 4:54 am