April 9, 2010, - 7:27 pm
Weekend Box Office: “Date Night,” “Runaways,” “Girl w/ Dragon Tattoo”
It’s another weekend o’ crap at the box office. I can’t recommend any of the new releases highly. Two of them had the makings of what could have been good movies but degraded into the vile and/or stupid. One was just vile trash to begin with.
* “Date Night“: At first, I was enjoying this mistaken identity story line. But it got real stupid, real fast. And since when does a movie with jokes about and references to anal sex get a PG-13 rating? That’s not to mention F- and other four letter words and stuff about stripping and orgies? Should have been “R.”
Steve Carell and Tina Fey play a bored married couple who are always tired out, seem to have lost the romance in their marriage, and go on their weekly date night out to a fancy new restaurant in New York City, where they are mistaken for a couple who are blackmailing an Italian mafia figure who owns strip clubs. In a novel acting career move, Ray Liotta plays the mobster. Trying to show his range, I guess. Wow, next, they’ll be casting Joe Pesci as a mafioso. For the rest of the movie, we see Carell and Fey trying to escape two corrupt cops who moonlight for the mobster and meeting up with various characters who help them in their escape plan.
One of those is real-life thug and convicted criminal Mark Wahlberg, who walks around shirtless showing his abs for the duration of the movie. Calvin Klein and the ’90s called. They want their underwear commercial back. In a stupid couple of scenes, he and his Israeli girlfriend speak in Hebrew about having multiple sex partners and an orgy with Carell and Fey. Yup, since there’s never an opportunity to speak Hebrew in a movie, the dumb lines about sexual swinging created the most appropriate opportunity. Thanks, self-hating Hollywood Jews. Your gratuitous manner knows no nadir.
The rest of the movie is equally dumb and the ending is predictable. Like I said, what started out promising lived up to the Hollywood promise of being complete garbage . . . and not really funny at all for what is supposed to be a comedy. I laughed only a handful of times. But the funniest thing of all is that some people will actually pay ten bucks plus to see this. Haha, funny. About as funny as Jack and Chrissy being mistaken for another couple on “Three’s Company.” Come on, Hollywood think of something new.
Save your own date night and skip this. It’s “entertainment” for morons.
TWO MARXES
* “The Runaways“: The saddest thing about this incredibly vile, horrid film is that it stars popular teen actors Dakota Fanning and Kristen Stewart. And young girls who idolize them will want to see this disgusting, pointless trash, which glamorizes teen sex, drug addiction, lesbianism, and a sea of C-words, P-word, F-words. Nauseating. Dakota Fanning’s parents–who allowed her to make this movie and simulate this behavior when she was barely 15–should be charged with child abuse. I guess engaging in this excrement is how you show you’ve “grown up as an actress.”
It’s the story of “The Runaways,” a loser girl band in the ’70s punk movement, which featured Joan Jett and Cherie Currie. But the band never made it big, and the main character, Currie, became–at age 15–a drug addict and slut who never grew up. That’s the second saddest thing about this garbage. I interviewed the 50-year-old Currie, on Thursday, and, while she declared the night before that she was “not ashamed of a thing” and so “proud” of her sleazy life, she couldn’t handle my polite, challenging questions about the movie and her book, “Neon Angel,” on which the movie is based. Her toady book publicist demanded my videotape because he didn’t want the world to see this 50-year-old vessel o’skank act embody the angry, left-wing New Age psychobabble queen that she is.
I’ll be writing more about my “experience” with this destructive, nutty woman who glamorizes teen orgies, lesbianism, and heavy drug use. She says she “paved” the way for women in rock. If this is “paving the way,” the dirt road was highly under-rated. We didn’t need her “paving.” We needed her act to be paved under. Sorry, hag, er . . . chick, your story simply isn’t as interesting and definitely not a crumb as important as you’ve deluded yourself into thinking. Irrelevant, and who cares? But, hey, to make a buck, she’ll pimp out America on it.
Even Elvis is turning over in his grave that his granddaughter (Riley Keough) participated in this manure. Grrlpower is over-rated.
Don’t let your teen daughters see this movie . . . even if accompanied by an adult. With crap like this, it’s no wonder we’ve lost the culture war and continue to decline as a country.
FOUR MARXES PLUS-A-PIMP-AND-A-BIN-LADEN
* “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo“: The title of this is misleading since the major character of this Swedish language film (with English subtitles) is really a Swedish investigative reporter who is hired by the only moral elder of a wealthy family of Swiss mostly former Nazis to find a missing niece, who was apparently murdered. The woman with the dragon tattoo is a goth woman in her 20s who is an ex-con on parole. The movie is based on the thriller by Stieg Larsson.
This otherwise riveting movie would have been great, but it degrades beyond reclamation with gratuitous lesbian scenes, and–far worse–sickening, graphic rape and torture scenes, including a parole officer who rapes the tattooed goth and then her rape of him using a sex toy and rope. Truly disgusting. Yes, the country of IKEA is depraved far beyond crummy furniture. Completely warped. And the “happy ending” simply isn’t worth it all. Not only is it too slow and about an hour too long, but the conclusion is unsatisfying and the movie, overall, was truly disturbing.
Should have been rated “X.” Take your subtitled piece of trash and shove it.
FOUR MARXES PLUS
Tags: Cherie Currie, Dakota Fanning, Date Night, Elvis, Hebrew, Joan Jett, Kristen Stewart, Mark Wahlberg, Movie Reviews, Neon Angel, Ray Liotta, Riley Keough, Steve Carell, Stieg Larsson, Sweden, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, The Runaways, Tina Fey
Debbie, Jackie Fuchs (a.k.a. Jackie Fox) went on to graduate from Harvard Law; Joan is a business success, and Cherie liberal?? Where did you get the idea she was liberal? I’m surprised you didn’t become fast friends.
Debbie, I’d like to help guide you towards reality. Daily, you exploit the suffering of your grandparents; capitalizing on their torture and suffering; climbing their dead carcasses to inflate your own illusion of importance. How dare you? I’d think it best to hold back on throwing words like “hag” into the ring when you yourself are not too far off from “Sally O’Malley” stretch pants yourself, missy.
Unlike you, I attended a prominent private university a bit more challenging than Michigan or Wisconsin. I didn’t drop my Jewish grandparents suffering into my resume as you have. I actually worked on the WTA Tennis tour, unlike you who played mediocre Detroit juniors. The Donald Dell (ProServ) and the late Mark McCormick (IMG) were my mentors. My father, an aerospace pioneer, was one of Barry Goldwater’s closest friends. My insight was keener than anything a mistreated, homely Neo-Con girl from Michigan could dream of. You chose law as revenge for the miserable babushka face you were slapped with. You wanted validation and power – power you never felt as an ignored, humiliated, bullied little peon of a child — a child who wasn’t cool enough or good enough to ever escape her second-rate, fly-over state up-bringing. Stardom was your true yearning but the 40+ years of rejection you’ve faced has turned you into this needy woman that you are today.
I wasn’t birthed from the loins of a vile, heartless Yenta nor did I come out with a face only your vile, heartless mother could love. That photo of yourself is from 1990 I’d estimate, given the hideous beast I saw recently — the monstrosity you refer to as Debbie Schlussel. You have embellished a few key points of your biography. Shall I deconstruct you piece by piece here of in private, before Robert Hudson? Isn’t it true that you are a closeted lesbian? Shall I share what I know, or would you prefer to keep it our little secret? Shall I continue?
Should I bother to point out that Van Halen, Daz Band, Genesis, Duran Duran, Steely Dan, Boston, Guns and Roses, and all the bands you “pick” have lead the same sordid lifestyle as Ms. Currie and Larkin? If anyone would make a movie about any of your “picks” you’d have a lot to be disgusted by. Each of the bands I mentioned — a.k.a. “your picks” — are very well aware of Joan and Cherie. My uncle Milton would roll over in his grave knowing there are Jews like you spewing the same hate speech that was used against your exploited grandparents. Shame on you for playing “revenge of the nerds” at your age.
Your biggest problem with these girls is that they didn’t have to follow the same rules you were forced to follow. You had no chance at fame and you resent them for being bold, unconventional and wildly free. You were saddled with restrictions and endless emotional limitations. Do you know I was in the gifted program from the time I was 5 and never once did I feel the need to join MENSA? It is only for the needy sociopaths like you who need the validation of a label — a title to lord over others, as a show of insecurity. Isn’t knowing you are gifted enough for you? Why do you need the validation of titles? I can answer that. Without those titles you are that same, homely, ignored, bullied little girl with closeted lesbian feelings. You were so shamed into thinking your feelings are vile that you lash out against anyone who didn’t live under the same cage of restrictions.
DC on April 12, 2010 at 2:31 am