By Debbie Schlussel
Amidst the other dreadful summer TV fare (“Revenge of the Average Joes,” “Dance With the Stars,” etc.–need I say more?), Paris Hilton’s mother, Kathy Hilton hosts, “I Want to be a Hilton,” starting on Tuesday Night on NBC. But you–and the idiotic contestants on this show–need not apply. Instead, here’s the Cliff’s Notes version on the etiquette of how to be “a Hilton”:
1) Make a porn film like Paris did. No, make several.
2) Marry a Hilton, like former child actress (did you ever see her act in anything?), Kathy Hilton. Not too many of those to go around.
3) Serve as grand marshals of the Gay, Lesbian, Bi-Sexual & Transgender Pride Parade
“It does sound a little obnoxious,” acknowledged Rick Hilton, father of Paris, about the show (he is the producer).