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October 13, 2009, - 3:38 am

Miley Virus: White Chicks Can’t Rap; Plus, My New Fave Rapper

By Debbie Schlussel

Why do I care enough to comment about Miley Cyrus? Because, sadly, too many young American girls idolize this piece of trash daughter of a stupid one-hit wonder who is now living vicariously through her. And, unfortunately, this chick has waaaay too much influence on young girls, whether it’s her gyrating on a stripper pole because her father, Billy Ray Cyrus (a “Great American,” according to Sean Vannity), told her to, endorsing gay marriage, starring in the “Sex & the City” hags movie sequel, or now this–her stupid rap video, which is laugh out loud lame. It reminds me of that stupid White traffic chick down South, trying to rap her traffic report on the news. Hey, White chicks, whya gotta pretend ta act all ghetto? You just look stooopid. I asked White people to stop rapping, but they didn’t listen.

This Cyrus chick is a stark answer to the question of why young Americans are idiots and our country is doomed. They suckle on this crap and girls like this are their idols. Incredibly, at the time I write this, over three million stupid “Americans of tomorrow” watched Virus’ chintzy rap video about why she deleted her Twitter account. Oh, and my new favorite rapper: it’s Peter Coffin, who has a great, classic rap response (second video) to Miley Virus, or is that, Viley Cyrus? (Tip to Peter: it’s “insIpid,” not insEpid, but you got the gist right.)

“Tweetin’ ’bout pimples”? More like, you are a pimple, Hannah Montana on a stripper pole.

It’s like Christmas before Winter. Word.

Tags: Billy Ray Cyrus, deleted Twitter account, Hannah Montana, Miley Cyrus, Miley Virus, Peter Coffin, Twitter, video, Viley Cyrus

16 Responses

Miley Cyrus is a piece of trash? What a contemptible thing to say about a 16 year old kid. Just awful.

Chas on October 13, 2009 at 5:32 am

Chas:

Miley Cyrus is old enough to know right from wrong. Maybe she is not old or mature enough to make adult decisions, but she is old enough to know right from wrong, to seek fame and fortune for herself, to create a “good old fashioned family values religious country girl” image that is a complete and total sham, and to hide behind her father when the criticism gets too much. Now 10 years from now when the fame is gone and her life is a mess, watch her turn on her father and blame him for destroying her childhood, and possibly even accuse him of abuse.

I wonder … are you as forgiving to inner city teenage girls who become pregnant out of wedlock time and time again, and the inner city teenage boys who father them? I am not just playing the socio-cultural-economic double standard card that was so obviously on display by the religious right types who spent decades bashing inner city out of wedlock teen girls (and their mothers!) but defended and embraced Sarah and Bristol Palin. Instead, it is completely relevant.

The reason is because Miley Cyrus’ whole act is selling sex. Watch her show. Look at her music videos, dancing and wardrobe. And when you are through watch her show again. It is selling a subversive, harmless LOOKING version of sexuality to preteens. It really is grotesque. Disney gets away with it by A) making sure that the girls and boys that they hire continue looking and acting like they are in their preteens (the girls can’t have hips or cleavage, the boys can’t have facial hair or muscles, and both sexes must act even more immature than they look) and none of the dating behavior ever advances among mild kissing.

But actual teen (and preteen!) girls and boys who watch Miley Cyrus and the other trash on Disney and have been conditioned that there is nothing more to live than dressing and dancing like a streetwalker and finding some boyfriend, girlfriend or date to hook up with are going to find themselves being dominated by emotions and hormones that they aren’t ready for and don’t know how to deal with, and trust me they aren’t going to stop at the little pecks on the lips that Disney depicts. Network television in the 1970s and 1980s, which showed normal-looking teenage girls and boys engaging in heavy petting, may have been doing their best to undermine our family and cultural structure by glorifying behavior that they knew would lead to more premarital sex, but A) Norman Lear and the rest never even pretended to be “pro-family and traditional values” and B) at least they were consistent in also promoting abortion and birth control. Disney actually pretends to be family-safe and pro-family while they are selling sexuality (even down to the dance moves and outfits that were considered shockingly risque when we first saw them on MTV in the 1980s), and Cyrus is the worst offender. Not only is her show the main offender in pushing sleaze on 9 year olds (and because of its success Disney has largely abandoned cartoons for looking for the next Hannah Montana sort of show), but she does her “aw shucks, I am just a country Christian girl from down south” routine.

Sorry, but Cyrus knows what she is doing, knows that it is wrong, and this is one of the rare instances when Debbie is right on target.

Gerald on October 13, 2009 at 10:06 am

Exactly! Oh, and Debbie, That cute little green strapless mini on Tinkerbell is hardly asexual either. When Peter Pan came out in the 40’s that too was very risque. Many Disney “leading ladies” are very seductive. Men were having fantasies 15 years ago over Pocahantas. Why do you think Tink was jealous of pure little Wendy in her demure blue gown? Tink was the allegorical “bad girl” out to corrupt Peter Pan by playing coy. Her newest epiphany IS on the butch side or is it? Could it be a Disney-fied “domination” outfit? Think about it, envision it black and go from there.
All their cartoons involving male-female relationships include the classic triangle of good girl-hero-evil temptress. There is lots of sexual tension in all of them. They get away with a lot more in animation than they’re willing to try in live acted films.

MK750 on October 13, 2009 at 8:31 pm

Chas…AND YOUR POINT IS AS WE LOOK AT ANOTHER PERSON WHO HAS TURNED IN THEIR WHITE CARD?!?!?!

Bob Porrazzo on October 13, 2009 at 6:20 am

Turned in their white card? I thought neo-conservatives were against racial distinctions and racism? Or does that only apply to affirmative action programs (as opposed to, say, racial profiling)? More proof that when you scratch a neo-conservative you will either find a paleo-conservative segregationist (or a liberal faux conservative) underneath.

Gerald on October 13, 2009 at 11:11 am

Hmmm … so should black people stop singing country music? I thought Ray Charles and Charlie Pride did a good job. Cowboy Troy and Darius Rucker not so much. Speaking of Darius Rucker, should blacks sing hard rock, heavy metal, punk and grunge music?

Gerald on October 13, 2009 at 9:24 am

Of course they should…but not because they are black. They should do it because they like it. The same reason a white person or any other person of color should do any kind of music reguardless of wether one ethnic group is in the majority of one genre of music.

I’m a 27 year old black independant…yeah I know…we’re rare to find and we aren’t ‘black’ enough cuz we think ‘outside the box’. I like videogame music, heavy metal, and alot of 80’s and 90’s rock music BECAUSE I LIKE IT AND IT APPEALS TO ME.

Look anyway, I’m gonna make a bold prediction right here. And you all heard it first from me:

Miley Cyrus…well everything Britney Spears (who was also a product of disney) did to “further” her career….this girl will top it ten-fold. You’ll see.

Squirrel3D on October 13, 2009 at 9:48 pm

3:38am? I guess I’m not the only person occasionally disgusted with the world to the point I get less sleep.

I totally agree with this article. I think one day scientists will isolate the genes for guilty white libs, and for white douche bags that act like black rappers and they’ll be remarkably the same. Also related to black or white douche bags that play video games all day in they moms basements. The miracle cure will ultimately be found to be a hard kick in the jaw delivered in reps of three.

A friend played a spoof of all rap videos from a cd from Saturday Night Live and I still found it to be annoying as hell. I try to get the youtube for “I’m on a boat!” How stupid stupid stupid, but my 38 yr old dumbass friend laughs his ass off to this crap.The Lonely Island – I’m On A Boat: Edited Version – Closed Captioned

Joe on October 13, 2009 at 9:37 am

Youtube gives me f’in fits trying to put a link in the comments section, oh well.

Joe on October 13, 2009 at 9:38 am

Debbie i agree with you 100percent…however if you really want to see something lame and dimwitted tune in to disneys “suite life”…if there was ever a case for backhanding two little snots its those two…and the writers.

BIG IRISH on October 13, 2009 at 9:52 am

White people shouldn’t rap – or use ebonics. It looks bad enough when blacks appear as morons but white people who look stupid… are stupid. We all should aspire to have better class than that – whether or not we are celebrities.

NormanF on October 13, 2009 at 12:06 pm

I don’t know if she’s worthy of the “piece of trash” description, but I totally agree that she’sway too influential on kids. ….Lets face it – if she made videos that depicted her getting a part time job to help out her out-of work parents, she wouldn’t sell.

To quote an old cliche of rock ‘n roll record producers: ‘It smells but it sells’.

Not Ovenready on October 13, 2009 at 12:29 pm

gasp most of those followers were probably sick 40 year old plus men from medium security prison across the nation and for risk of violating prole (for having any contact w/ a minor) she deleted her twitter to protect 40% of her fan base

Jibreel Riley on October 13, 2009 at 12:51 pm

Blacks can’t rap,either,even if it’s their “music” – but to point that out is “racist”,of course; it hurts their childish feelings, proving how immature they really are.

Phineas on October 15, 2009 at 12:24 pm

Blacks got music

Ace on December 18, 2009 at 9:29 am

How blind I was,I used to like Vannity,but I confess I found him a little bit annoying even then until I just couldn t stand him anymore,I thought that was conservativism,the bad thing is that he is giving conservativism a bad name…as far as Cyrus…huh I never cared for her,I knew it was all fake.

Juan on January 24, 2012 at 10:10 pm

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Miley Virus: White Chicks Can’t Rap; Plus, My New Fave Rapper

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