July 23, 2009, - 3:17 pm
Continental Airlines Apologizes to Muslim Oompa Loompa Lookalike for Making Him Go Through Security
By Debbie Schlussel
If you’re traveling abroad. It might not be a good idea to fly Continental Airlines on the way home to the West.
You see, Continental has decided to abide by India’s absurd policy of mandating that “specified VIPS” are “exempt” from security, including removing shoes, being wanded, etc. And apparently, that includes some Muslims. You might be wondering why the airline and a foreign government get to decide this and not the U.S. government. After all, this regards flights heading to the U.S. and which will, therefore, be in U.S. airspace . . . just like the planes on 9/11. But apparently, for flights originating elsewhere, it’s out of TSA control and in the hands of the airline.
That’s scary, given that we know planes coming into the U.S. are every bit as vulnerable to terrorist plots as those originating here. Remember the Shoe Bomber (who came here from France)?
India’s “exempt specified VIP” list was brought to light as Continental apologized yesterday to Oompa Loompa lookalike A. P. J. Abdul Kalam, a Muslim and India’s former President. You see, Mr. Loompa . . .er, Kalam, is upset because
former President A.P.J. Abdul Kalam was told to remove his shoes and scanned by a metal detector. . . .
The former president was told to remove his shoes and the contents of his pockets, and a hand-held metal detector was run over his body.
Oh, the horror. Mr. Kalam’s fellow co-religionists blow up our planes and murder 3,000 Americans, and yet only we–and not him–should be subject to the increased hassles his fellow worshippers of Mohammed caused for us.
And India–which you’d think would get a clue after the Mumbai attacks–lodged a protest against Continental, claiming the search violates its laws and that the man is 77. Ah, welcome to America, where little old ladies from Pasadena who aren’t Muslims are searched for more invasively at age 80.
At first, the airline defended itself and these normal security procedures and said there was “no special rule for VIPs.” But all that has changed, and Continental has put on its best pander dancing shoes. Terrorists, take note, and pick a top Muslim VIP for the next India to New York Continental flight.
Continental Airlines Inc. has apologized to a former Indian president after he was frisked before boarding a flight to New York in April, a breach of protocol denounced as “unpardonable” by a[n Indian] government minister.
Attention, India: taking your shoes off, emptying your pockets, and being wanded is not “frisking.” Get a clue.
“Our intention was never to offend Dr. Kalam or the sentiments of the people of India,” the airline said in an e-mailed statement. “We have tendered a formal apology to Dr. Kalam and we sincerely hope he will fly with us again.”
Translation: We hope he won’t carry a bomb or other explosives, since we’ve acquiesced to India’s absurd “don’t search VIPs” policy.
You know what? To about 150 million Muslim Indians, there’s another guy who qualifies as a VIP. His last name is Bin Laden.
*** UPDATE: Some Tribute Music:
Ok, that just made me laugh! Now I’ve got that song in my head. Ugh.
I’m still never setting foot on a Continental flight. Evah!!
(OT, but had to share–Your dose of idiocy for the day: http://www.thenewstribune.com/news/local/story/817036.html The “America Apologizes” tour continues on.)
cirrus1701 on July 23, 2009 at 4:30 pm