By Debbie Schlussel

I really couldn’t care less about Barry Bonds’ trial for allegedly using illegal steroids.  To me, it’s not the same as other illicit drugs. It’s a victimless crime (unless you’re his bedmate and there’s, um, “shrinkage”), and I’ve said so on this site several times. (Read more about what I think about steroids use in baseball, including here, here, and here.) And I’m kind of disappointed that millions in federal resources are being used to try him, as opposed to real crimes that are generally ignored like illegal alien smuggling, terrorist money laundering, and sham marriages which enable illegal aliens (often Muslims) become U.S. citizens.  But I couldn’t help reading the comical and entertaining interview in today’s Wall Street Journal with Bonds’ son, Nikolai Bonds (funny, he doesn’t look Slavic). It’s interesting, to say the least.

Nikolai & Barry Bonds

The junior Bonds has every excuse and alibi down pat.  But I feel for him. It’s gotta be tough growing up Bonds, and now you have to answer for your dad and know that he may go to prison for years.  So, I can see why he’s making excuses, and I don’t blame him for his father’s actions and behavior.  It’s a natural instinct and part of familial loyalty to defend your loved ones. Bonds must have been a good and loving dad to his son, as indicated by his willingness to defend his father to a national newspaper. And in the sports biz, that’s rare, as many pro athletes neglect and abandon their children.

That said, I had to chuckle at some of his statements.  He’s either clearly in denial or a very loyal son or both.  If it were my dad, I’d probably react the same way.  It’s normal to do that for the parent you love.  Also interesting is that the son is majoring in “recording arts” as a hip-hop DJ in college.  More proof that college is a colossal waste of time and money.  Does the final exam ask you to identify Diddy’s and Snoop Dogg’s real names and their greatest contributions to America (their deaths)?

One of the most-talked-about bits of testimony against Bonds came from longtime San Francisco Giants clubhouse manager Mike Murphy, who testified last week that Bonds’s cap size increased an eighth of an inch sometime between 2000 and 2002, something experts say is a consistent with performance-enhancing-drug use.

Nikolai, who worked as a Giants batboy for years and had a locker next to his dad’s, offered a theory: Murphy may have confused his father’s caps with his. Nikolai said he started wearing slightly bigger hats than his father in middle school to accommodate his hair. “I totally believe [a mix-up] is possible,” he said. Murphy didn’t return calls for comment. . . .

Nikolai said the most uncomfortable moment was the testimony of Kimberly Bell, the former mistress, who said his father suffered from sexual dysfunction because of steroid use. . . . What bothered him most, he said, was her allegation that his father had many girlfriends.

“I didn’t know about these women until now,” Nikolai said. “I love my dad and support him regardless, but I have my own feelings about that—I’d never condone that sort of activity, especially towards the mother of my sister, or my mom.”

Nikolai said he thinks Bell “made herself look stupid” by simultaneously accusing Bonds of not being able to perform sexually but also saying he had affairs with other women. “For a dude that has all these problems, how does that make sense?” he asked. . . .

Nikolai said his father’s 2007 indictment has been stressful for his family. . . . A recording-arts major, Nikolai said he works part-time as a DJ and recently formed a hip-hop group with his friends called Airplane Mode. (His father hasn’t been to a show, Nikolai said, but recently bought him new state-of-the-art turntables.)

Regardless of the trial’s outcome, Nikolai said it wouldn’t matter to him what his father did because no substances were illegal in baseball before 2003. He said his father’s record-breaking performances couldn’t have been a result of steroids, given that he hit a lot of home runs in every season he played. “No substance that you put in your body is going to help you see the ball the way he saw it,” Nikolai said.

I’m not an admirer (or a hater) of Barry Bonds, though the allegations that he wouldn’t sign autographs for White people are disturbing. But as I’ve written on this site many times before, I’m not too concerned about steroids. And I think the trial is a travesty. Sending Bonds to prison–which looks likely to happen–what will that accomplish? Will it take a hardened dangerous criminal off the streets? No, but it will take the prison cell from one who will be freed or not sent to prison so that we can make room for Barry Bonds. Will it cause others not to use steroids? Dream on.