By Debbie Schlussel

If you thought low-flow toilets were bad, wait ’til you use “Islamic toilets.”  Forget Islamic foot baths and burqas/niqabs.  This is where it’s at.

It’s not just that Islam is filled with hate and intolerance that’s objectionable.  It’s also extremely annoying and backwards that a strong and growing group of Muslims rebel against all modern technology, no matter how basic or necessary for standard Western sanitary conditions.

Yes, Al-Qaeda, HAMAS, Hezbollah, etc. have all embraced TV, the Internet, cell phones, and other modern technology for their terrorist recruitment and operations, but as we all know, many Islamic views and traditions–such as treatment of women and legal fictions to create shariah loans–are backward and so 13th Century.  Even Bin Laden family members note that the Al-Qaeda leader himself, Osama Bin Laden, partied like it’s 599, with his absolute disdain and hatred for modern technology, dress, and other mores of modernity.

And so it goes with a growing number of Muslims in Great Britain . . . er, “Asians,” as the British press calls ’em.  Because the Brits needs to be “culturally sensitive,” an upscale shopping mall has replaced modern toilets with what’s known as “squat toilets,” “Turkish toilets,” or “Nile pans.” Try not to eat lunch while reading this:

All in the name of cultural sensitivity. From next week, shoppers in Rochdale who push open the cubicle door expecting the reassuring sight of a modern, clean lavatory could instead be faced with little more than a hole in the ground.

Bosses of the Greater Manchester town’s Exchange mall have installed two as part of an upgrade costing several thousand pounds after attending a cultural awareness course run by a local Muslim community activist.

A familiar sight in parts of the Middle East, and still sometimes seen in France and Italy, the toilets require users to squat above them, rather than sitting.

With one in ten of Rochdale’s population of Pakistani or Bangladeshi origin, centre managers say they have been told some members of the local Asian community prefer them for cultural reasons.

Yeah, “reasons” of backwards culture.

The Exchange shopping centre is in the process of refurbishing its ladies’ and gents’ toilets, and the changes were made after managers went on a cultural training course.

It was hosted by Ghulam Rasul Shahzad, a retired Rochdale Council training officer who runs courses for the groups including the police on cultural understanding and community cohesion.

Hey, no surprise he has the same last name as the Times Square bomber, Faisal Shahzad. From attempted Times Square terrorism to successful toilet terrorism, the Asian Muslims in the West have it, um, covered because we’re so meek and politically incorrect that we won’t ever object and let the you-know-what hit the fan over this. Instead, it has to hit the Nile Pan.

A former Labour council candidate, Mr Shahzad received the OBE from the Queen last month for his services to the community and social housing.

No surprise about this either. As we’ve long known, Queen Elizabeth and her son, Prince Charles are so far up the rears of the Muslim world, they are, themselves, Turkish Toilets. But do you think she or sonny boy would ever lower themselves (literally) to use Muslim squat toilets?

He was last year given a Community Crimefighter Award by the then Prime Minister, Mr Brown.

Mr Shahzad took shopping centre manager Lorenzo O’Reilly and his team on a tour around Rochdale’s Central Mosque, including a look at its toilets, as part of the course.

‘The management at the centre were very committed to improving the service they offered to the community and were very responsive,’ he said.

‘We always work together to understand each other from both sides and find a balance.

Uh-huh. This is now “balance” with Islam in the Western world–replacing toilets with holes in the ground.

A spokeswoman for the centre said: ‘We regularly receive cultural awareness training from Ghulam and when we were planning the toilets this was something that cropped up.’

As a result, when the facilities reopen next Monday, both the ladies’ and gents’ will have a cubicle containing a squat toilet.

Turkish or squat toilets are favoured over flush toilets in many parts of Asia as they don’t require expensive modern plumbing systems.

Proponents of what some campaigners call the natural posture toilet claim there are health benefits to squatting, rather than sitting.

Yeah, like what? Heightened sense of (bad) smell resulting from someone’s poor aim?

Canterbury Prison recently installed one for foreign inmates as part of a £17,000 upgrade.

But they are regarded as unhygienic and backward in many parts of the world – infamously, a controversial sculpture briefly displayed at EU offices in Brussels last year lampooning member states depicted Bulgaria as a squat toilet.

Mike Bone, of the British Toilet Association, warned the washing facilities associated with squat toilets could pose a hygiene hazard.

Reader Rob writes:

Squat toilet… ugh!! Why has the most advanced civilization on that side of Atlantic pond decided to degrade itself to these backward cultural ways?

Obviously, Rob’s question is rhetorical. We know why. Islam. That’s why.

If you don’t think this will ultimately come to the U.S., think again. We are letting in many Asian Muslim immigrants. And when they reach the critical mass they’ve reached in Britain, these backwards waste removal devices will hit our shopping malls and prisons, too. And everywhere else.

Just hope the person in the neighboring stall has good aim.  And to be safe, best not to wear sandals. Hey, if Mohammed relieved himself this way, it must be good enough for the rest of us. Right?